The Stray
by Plumcot
Summary: When mercenary Wendy Trescott is finally tracked down by S.H.I.E.L.D, Fury sends his best agents to dispose of her. But he has a last minute change of heart, and decides upon a less humane option; he fits her with a shock collar. Warning; slight Doctor Who crossover. Bruce/OC Deadpool/Spiderman
1. Chapter 1: The Stray

I breathe as quietly as I can as I wait behind the corner for my target. The air is damp, the night is dark. My hand is on the silver 44 magnum revolver in the holster on my right hip. I call her Cassie. There's another one on my left hip, but we haven't been together too long; she hasn't told me her name yet. And, after all this firepower, I've got a dagger in a holster on my ankle, just for good measure. I hear footsteps. Panicked footsteps, running down the alley towards me. Sounds like someone found my little note. I step out from behind the corner.

"Hey." I say, simply. I don't have a good view of myself, but I must look pretty effing terrifying, 'cause the guy looks scared shitless. I smirk as I pull Cassie out and shoot him in the head, and he falls to the pavement in a bloody mess. I pull "The List" out from my pocket, and check off the box next to "Leroy Anderson". "One down." I mutter to myself as I holster Cassie and start meandering back home. "Millions to go."

My name's Wendy Trescott. I'm a mercenary. Or, I used to be. See, I got myself into a bit of trouble a while back, and… well, you'll see. It all started after I offed that Leroy guy. Some guy up in Reno had promised me 10k for this guy's head. I headed back to my ratty little San Francisco apartment and popped a bunch of instant ramen in the microwave. The whole place was a mess. The couch was full of holes. The walls still had stains from the last tenant, and I don't mean coffee stains. And don't get me started on the bathrooms. While the microwave was counting down the seconds to ramen, I pulled off my "Battle Outfit", which is a black shirt with a ripped-off collar, hem and sleeves, black cargo pants and black combat boots, and slipped into something more comfortable. And by that, I mean a t-shirt and some underpants. I slouched down on the couch and started cleaning Cassie out while I waited. That's when I heard a voice from the corner.

"You've got a lot of red on your ledger." The voice said, smooth and feminine. My eyes shot in the direction of the voice. There was a figure in the shadows, leaning against the wall. And not a bad figure, either, if you know what I mean. She stepped out into the light. It was a woman. A tall, shapely woman with red hair and gold eyes. And… holy shit. She was wearing a _cat-suit_. Cat-suit aside, there was an intruder in my house, and I don't take too kindly to intruders.

"Who're you and what're you doing in my house?" I asked sharply, my hand on Cassie.

"You're going to have to put that gun back together before you can shoot me with it." She said, and rightly so. "As for your question, I'm Natasha Romanov. And I've been sent to kill you."

"I see." I reached behind me for the revolver I had tucked into my waistband. I aimed square at her forehead and squeezed the trigger in one fluid motion. I would've had her, too, but she bent over backwards and snapped back up like some kind of rubber doll, leaving me with a bullet hole in my wall. I was obviously dealing with a pro. Good; I like a challenge. I jumped off the couch and stuck the gun against her head, point blank. "Sayonara." I said. She just smiled. My face fell as I noticed the sniper in the window of the apartment across from mine. My head snapped back just in time to avoid getting maimed by an arrow, which whizzed past me into the wall to my left, taking a chunk of my long black hair with it. "Alright, that's it." I growled. I tried to throw a punch at this "Natasha", but she grasped my arm, pulled me in close, and jabbed her thumb into my neck. Everything started to get dark and quiet, and the last thing I heard before I went out was the ding of the microwave. Damn… good ramen gone to waste.

"Are you sure she's alright?"

"She's fine. I don't know why you're so worried about her, she's nothing but a criminal."

"I understand, but Fury wants her alive, so- wait; she's waking up."

I opened my eyes, my head still fuzzy and hurting like hell. I was lying on some sort of palette in a room with metal walls. No… it was the inside of an airplane. Sitting across from me was some middle-aged guy with a receding hairline, and… Natasha Romanov. Still in the catsuit. I sat up fast, ready to grab my gun, and that's when I realized I was in a straitjacket. And that they had probably taken my guns.

"What the hell is going on?" I growled through my teeth. "I thought you guys were supposed to kill me, huh?"

"You're lucky we decided to be merciful." Natasha said icily. "You definitely don't deserve it."

"What she means is," The middle-aged guy interrupted. "Our director had a change of heart. My name is Phil Coulson. Agent Phil Coulson." He offered his hand for me to shake, and I looked at him sideways. He pulled his hand back. "Ah, yeah. Sorry."

"So, what are you going to do with me? Throw me in prison? An asylum, maybe?" Phil opened his mouth to talk, but shut it wisely. "Not talking, huh? Can you at least tell me what you did with my guns?" I was interrupted by Natasha.

"We're here." The plane landed and the hatch opened. Phil and Natasha each gripped one of my arms tight as we walked out onto a huge expanse of tarmac, covered in aircrafts landing and taking off.

"Where's here?" I asked, genuinely curious but still trying my hardest to sound ticked. Phil gestured with his head behind us, and I looked back to see a view of the ocean. Below the tarmac. Below the hangars. "It's…" I trailed off.

"It's called a helicarrier." Phil said. I don't think anything I could've said at that point would have answered any of the questions I had. They marched me into the heart of the structure, down through some corridors and hallways and past some very official-looking rooms, and finally through some huge metal doors into a very, very big room full of people and computers. The wall across from the door was just one big window, and there was a great view of… well, of a bunch of clouds. They kept marching me forward until we stopped in front of a bald, black guy standing with his back to us, looking out the window.

"Director Fury, we brought the girl." Natasha said. Girl? Who's she calling girl? She couldn't have been more than four years older than me, five tops. The guy turned around, and I noticed an eyepatch over his left eye. Not to mention, the guy was dressed like he was straight out of "The Matrix".

"Wendy Trescott." The guy said. "My name is Nick Fury, director of S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Shield?" I questioned.

"S.H.I.E.L.D. It stands for Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement Logistics Division. But you're probably wondering why you're here."

"No shit I am." I said.

"Watch your mouth." Natasha said harshly, her grip still tight on my arm.

"You watch your _hands_, grabby!" I retorted quickly.

"Control yourself, Trescott!" Fury said. I looked him right in the eye.

"Is the straitjacket _really_ necessary?" I asked.

"No. No it isn't. Coulson, please untie her." Phil reached around me and undid all the buckles and knots, and the jacket slipped off.

I smirked as I whirled around, poised to knock everyone in the room to oblivion with my bare hands and get the hell out of there. But something hit me mid-motion. My brain went out of focus, if that's possible, and all my muscles started to hurt like hell, and I dropped to the floor, kind of twitching a little. It only lasted a few moments. When I finally regained control of my limbs, I slowly lifted my hand to my neck, and felt a metal choker there. "A shock collar?" I said angrily, struggling to get to my feet.

"15,000 volts every time you perform a violent action, or try to leave S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters without permission." Fury said, smirking just a bit.

"For how long?"

"Until you learn how to be a functioning member of society." He replied. Oh, that's just great. I thought to myself. So, basically I'll be wearing this forever. I brought my hand up to the collar and felt it. It was metal, but thin. Maybe some bolt cutters…

"And don't even think about trying to get it off." Fury said, as if he'd been reading my mind. "It's rigged to explode at the slightest evidence of tampering."

"So, what, I'm just supposed to stay here?" I asked.

"That's right. We already have a room set up for you. Very fancy, the door even locks from the outside." I scowled.

"Isn't it illegal to keep someone against their will?" I said, not quite believing _I_ was actually playing the legality card.

"The S.H.I.E.L.D is somewhat above the law. We caught wind of your antics, and decided to put a stop to them." I just glared at him. "Now." He continued unfazed. "There's someone we'd like you to meet. If all goes well, he's to be your mentor of sorts. Agent Coulson? Direct her to Banner's laboratory, would you?" Phil nodded. "Oh… and get her some clothes." I looked down and realized I was still in my underpants.

"Shit." I muttered under my breath.

I waited as Phil dug through a chest of drawers in his room, trying to find me clothes. He had covered me up with his coat, but it hadn't done much; I was still nearly naked, jut sweatier. He finally dug out a white dress shirt and some khakis, which I grudgingly put on. As an act of defiance I left the shirt untucked. Phil didn't say anything. We walked through the halls toward what I assumed was this "Banner" guy's lab.

"So, are you Fury's dog, or what?" I asked Phil. He turned to me, surprised.

"I'm his inferior officer, yes, but not his dog."

"You sure? He seems to have you on a pretty tight leash." I saw his eyes dart to the collar around my neck. "Fine. Yeah, whatever." I said. "I'm in no position to be making fun of you now, huh?" He smiled. At what, I don't know. Maybe he just thought I was so pathetic it was hilarious.

"You're a lot calmer now." He observed.

"Whaddyou mean?" I asked.

"Back on the plane, you nearly killed us all trying to hijack the craft. That's why you were in the straitjacket."

"I what?" I said. "But I don't…" I stopped myself. I must have blacked out; again. And judging from the lack of questions, Phil seemed to know exactly what had happened. "Just how much do you know about me?" I asked.

"We know that you're a troubled young woman, and that we want to help." Help; yeah. If I had a dollar for every time someone had said that… well, actually I'd have a dollar. We came up on a metal door with a glass window in the middle. "Here we are." Phil said. He opened the door onto a pristine, chrome-and-linoleum laboratory, with sleek, shiny computers everywhere and holograms floating through the air. One of the walls was basically a giant window, like the one in the earlier room, and through it I could see what looked to be basically the entire inner structure of the headquarters. As I took it all in my eye caught a glimmer of tousled brown hair through a cloud of holograms.

"Banner?" Phil called. I saw a hand make a sweeping motion through the holograms, and they all filed into one of the computers. I could see him clearly now. The guy had tousled brown hair and dark eyes. His face was well chiseled, and he wore a pair of big, wire-frame glasses. He smiled as he stepped toward us.

"Well who's this?" He said. His voice sounded kind and caring.

"Banner, this is Wendy Trescott, the newest resident." His expression turned to one of recognition.

"Oh, I heard about you. Well, welcome to S.H.I.E.L.D. I'm Bruce Banner." He offered his hand for me to shake, and I took it, shaking awkwardly. Something clicked in my head.

"Wait… you're _the_ Bruce Banner? The big green scientist guy?"

"Well, at the moment I'm less 'big and green' and more 'scientist', but yeah, if it helps you remember." Phil cleared his throat. "Coulson?" Bruce said.

"Banner, I just thought I should tell you, you're supposed to be mentoring her. Fury's orders." Bruce took his glasses off and set them down on a table next to him.

"Oh, yeah, that'd be no problem at all." He looked to me. "Do you mind?" He asked. I looked away.

"Yeah, I guess I can stomach it. I mean, if I'm not in your way or anything."

"No, no, I'm not doing anything important right now. Just messing around with some scientific theories is all."

"Well, I guess I'll leave you two. I have business to take care of with Stark." Phil said.

"Good luck." Bruce said knowingly. Phil left the room, and Bruce and I were all alone.

"So. Any idea why they saddled you with me?" I asked, hopping up on one of the tables.

"Well, if I had to guess, it's probably because I know a thing or two about split personalities myself." He pulled up some of the holograms and started swishing them through the air, studying each one critically.

"That's another thing. How the hell do you guys know so much about me?"

"S.H.I.E.L.D has eyes everywhere." He said, picking his glasses back up. "And you're a very notable figure. You killed a lot of people, people who probably didn't-"

"What?" I said harshly, cutting him off. I stood up angrily, feeling the collar buzz like a warning. "They didn't deserve it?"

"No, they didn't." Bruce said calmly. "Most of them probably could have been rehabilitated, and a few may have deserved a lifetime in prison, but it's rare to come across an individual so evil," He paused to adjust his glasses. "That they actually deserve death." I backed away from him, staring intently at the floor. "So why'd you do it?" He asked. I looked up.

"What do you mean? Do what?"

"Become a vigilante. How'd you get the way you are?"

"I dunno. I just…" I sat back down on the table. "I like the way it feels." Bruce smiled.

"That's good."

"Good?" I said, tense. "It's good that I enjoy killing people?"

"No, it's good that you recognize that it's wrong." I saw his feet inches away from me on the ground. I looked up into his eyes. And heard the door in the corner bang open.

"I'm telling you, it's just for a coupla minutes." In walked Tony Stark, the multibillionaire/inventor/superhero I had seen in so many magazines and newspapers. Phil was walking worriedly after him.

"You can't just say 'I need to use your lab' and expect us to accommodate you!" He said. "Have you even asked Fury?"

"Ahh, I'm sure he's fine with it." Stark said. He breezed right past me and Bruce and stopped in front of a computer. "Computer," He said. "Scan files for all data on 'iridium'" The computer immediately spewed out a plethora of holograms, letters and numbers and pictures and 3D displays. He started sifting through them all.

"Um, and who told you you could just come in and use my lab?" Bruce said, standing beside Stark. Stark looked at him.

"Um, I told me. I gave myself explicit orders to get my ass down to this lab right now, so please excuse me or I might have to fire myself." He almost looked genuine. Almost. I gripped the table tightly. This "Stark" character was getting on my nerves. That's when he looked my way. "Oh, hey, if it isn't the little psychopath!" He said. "I heard about you, you're the one Natasha and Barton had to put in a straitjacket 'cause you nearly crashed their plane, huh?" I scowled. "Ooh, and I see why." He leaned in closer. "That's a nice bit of jewelry you got on there. Someone special give it to you?" I thought real hard about punching him in the face, but if I did, that "nice bit of jewelry" would send 15,000 volts of electricity coursing through my body. Again. Was it worth it? …Eh, what the hell. I threw myself at Stark, tackling him to the ground and shocking us both something fierce. The only thought that penetrated my mind those few seconds was this; _SO_ worth it.


	2. Chapter 2: A New Look

**Author's note: Hey, Plumcot here! Thanks to everyone who favorite, reviewed and/or followed this story. You guys are the best! Now, I'm hoping to update every Tuesday and Thursday, if I can actually keep to that schedule. And I know, this chapter's short, but bear with me! It gets good soon. I just thought you might want a little backstory on Wendy's appearance.. **

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Three months later. I had been living in the S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters for about, well, three months. Fury had me doing things like mopping floors and cooking food for the other residents. I had been such a good little girl that Phil had picked up some of my clothes from my apartment. I was wearing my good old turtleneck again. Well, sort of; it used to be a black turtleneck, but I ripped off the sleeves, the hem, and the collar, so now it was more of a warm tank top. He even brought my black cargo pants from my "Hero Outfit", and the black combat boots too. I looked in the mirror above the sink, in the bathroom adjacent to my "room", which was more like a closet. Jet black hair. Black eyes. Black outfit. I looked badass. I scrutinized the reflection. I once had a friend who had piercings, _everywhere._ I always thought it looked awesome, but I was too chicken to get anything anywhere but the lobes. I smiled at myself in the mirror. Light bulb. I strolled out of the room and into the hallway, knowing that if I meandered around enough I'd eventually run into Phil. I was right; I found him on the cargo deck, for whatever reason.

"Hey, Coulson!" I said, approaching him with a big smile on my face. He looked surprised.

"Trescott, what are you doing down here?" He asked.

"I was looking for you!" I walked up and gave him a quick hug. As I pulled away, my right eye twitched, and the right corner of my mouth lifted uncontrollably into a half-smile for just a second, a tic left over from the early days of the collar, when I was basically a live wire every minute of the day. Now it only served as a reminder.

"Um, um…" he stammered. "Do you need anything?" I looked up at the ceiling, as if in thought.

"You know what, I did, I did, but I can't remember what. It'll come to me sooner or later. Bye!" I left him to scratch his head over my behavior, as I walked off fondling the badge in my pocket, along with Phil's credit card and cell phone. "Sucker." I muttered under my breath. A few days later, I had Phil's credit card and phone safely returned, and a box of body jewelry hidden in my room. I stood in front of the mirror, holding the badge open in one hand so that the pin was bare, and holding an ice cube in the other. "Here goes nothing." I said to myself. I took a deep breath. And gave it my best shot. By the time I was done, I had five silver rings up and down each ear, one in the middle of my lower lip, one in my left nostril, two silver bars in my right eyebrow, one in my left, and one in my belly-button. Looking in the mirror, I liked what I saw. There was just one thing missing. Or, one thing too much. I gathered my hair behind my head, trying to see what it'd be like to cut it short. I took one look, and thought; why not? I rifled through my drawers and found a nail-clipper, the sharpest thing I had besides the badge. And I got to work.

"Hey, Bruce!" I said, swaggering into the lab. Bruce had his back turned to me, as he rifled around in a cardboard box full of files. "Need any help with anything?"

"Actually, yeah, I-" He cut short when he turned and saw my new look. Now, along with the piercings, I had cut short my hair into a sort of spiky pixie-cut. Of course, it had taken me hours with the clippers, and the piercings had hurt like crazy, but it was worth it to see the look on Bruce's face! His mouth gaped as he scanned me up and down. "Wendy, what did you do to yourself?"

"What, you don't like it?" I said, pouting.

"Never mind that, how did you get those piercings? Did you do them yourself?"

I smiled, mock-sheepishly. "That's very dangerous, Wendy. And you know the metal will only serve to better conduct the shocks from your collar?" I slammed my palm into my forehead.

"I'll go take them out." I said, leaving for my room.

"I do like them." Bruce said as I walked through the door. "The way they look, I mean." I just kept walking through the door. I couldn't help it; as soon as the door shut behind me, a huge smile spread across my face, and I strode down the hallways in the best mood I'd been in since I'd got there. Who cared about the damn shock collar? He liked my new look! He liked it! Now to see what Fury thought of it…


	3. Chapter 3: Brendy

**Author's Note: So, any of you able to decipher the chapter title knows what's coming. Eeee! Wendy needed some love, am I right? Anyway, thanks so much for all the kind reviews, and to anyone who decided to follow or favorite me. You guys make this fanfic worth it. Little update: Whaddyou think about Monday, Wednesday, Friday? What can I say, I like a challenge!**

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"Here." I said, as I plopped a bottle of beer down on the table next to Bruce. He looked at me like I was from Mars. "Okay, so I stole some alcohol from Fury's private stash. So sue me."

"It's not that. Though that isn't something I support." I rolled my eyes. Bruce had been working his ass off for days on his new theory about gamma radiation. I really didn't understand most of it, except that it had something to do with the reason he is, well, the way he is. "I like a beer every now and then, but so does the other guy, if you know what I mean." Of course. I was such an idiot. "If I drink too much…"

"No, no I get it. You don't have to explain." I put the beers back into my special "hidey bag". "I'm sorry, I should've realized." He smiled. Then he came over and sat down on the table next to me.

"You're getting better, you know." I looked up, and the right half of my face twitched, like it now does every fifteen or twenty minutes. "Your outbursts are fewer and further between. You're starting to actually be nice to people. And how long has it been since you had a blackout?" I counted the days in my head. The days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months. Two months. No, two and a half. He must have noticed me doing the math in my head. "See? You could be getting that collar off sooner than you thought." I smiled, somewhat proud.

"You know, as soon as I get out of this thing I'll wreak some kind of havoc on this world, you'll see." He smiled.

"Can't wait." He said This was fun, talking with him like this. It always was. I was about to say something, but in an instant I felt his hand on my chin. Pulling my face towards his, my lips towards his own; Bruce was kissing me. something snapped.

"Don't." I said, standing up quickly and angrily. "Just, just don't. I've had enough of this kind of thing for a lifetime." I stormed out of the room, my collar buzzing.

"Wendy!" I heard him call after me. I ignored him, walking as quickly as I could to my room without tripping over something in a cloud of tears. Dammit, I was _crying_. That _never_ happens. I threw myself onto my bed, and had a good two minutes of lying there overthinking everything before there was a knock at the door. "It's me, Bruce." I didn't answer. The door opened. Oh yeah, I thought; it only locks from the outside. I rolled over on the bed to face the wall, as he shut the door behind him and sat down next to me. "Wendy, I love you. I've loved you for months, don't tell me you didn't notice." I said nothing. "You're the only person in this world who really understands me. You see the man, not the beast." He paused for a second, as if he was thinking. "What did you mean you'd "had enough of this kind of thing", Wendy? What happened?" I gathered my courage. Sat up. And looked straight at him.

"I know your type." I said, my voice ringing with disdain. "You're into bad girls, right? You probably think you can "tame" me or some shit like that, you'll be the knight in shining armor riding along to help make me normal. But give it a few weeks and you'll get tired of me, just like the rest of them. You'll get bored, or just tired of dealing with my shit, and you'll break my heart and leave me to pick up the pieces." My body shook. My fists clenched and unclenched, the collar buzzed, and my vision started to blur. And Bruce rushed to my side.

"It's alright." He whispered gently. "Shh, shhh. It's alright." He held me and rubbed my back up and down, whispering into my ear. I made no move to stop him. "Look at me, Wendy." I kept my head down. "Wendy, look at me!" I lifted my head to look into his eyes. Those deep, dark, soulful eyes. "Do I look like a man who would be so heartless?" He said. "Any man you've ever been with before hasn't deserved you, I can promise you that. I love you, Wendy." I fought the urge to just jump up and kiss him right then. But I buried the thought, and pulled away from him.

"Go." I demanded. "Just, just go." He stood up, dismayed.

"Okay." He said. "I'll go." He walked out the door. I buried my face in my pillow. What did I just do? The only man in this world who actually likes me, and I just drove him away! I lay there for a good four hours before the call came for lights out. It was over. Or so I thought.

The next morning I got a call on the S.H.I.E.L.D issue buzzer in my pocket; Fury wanted to see me. I walked down the many hallways and took the umpteen elevators to his… office? I still just call it "the giant room with the window". He was standing with his back facing me, looking out the window. I was starting to think he got into that pose on purpose before anyone entered the room.

"Trescott, there you are." He said, turning toward me. "I've got a task I need you to perform."

"And what am I doing this one for?" I said sarcastically. "The ever-so-special privilege of control over the TV remote?"

"Not quite. If you're up to the task, completion will mean a visit home. You can bring anything with you back to the headquarters that you can carry." My eyes widened. Anything? Did that mean- "Except for any weapons." He said. My face fell.

"Not even Cassie?" I protested.

"No. Wait… who's Cassie?" I put my hands on my hips.

"Cassie is my silver 44. Magnum revolver. She's my baby! She can't be alone too long, she needs practice to stay sharp!"

"No weapons. Period. Besides, the use of a weapon would set off your shock collar."

"I wouldn't use her, I'd just… maybe I could keep her under my pillow?" He sighed.

"Fine." He said, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Yay!" I squealed. "I'm gonna hug you now!" I did; It was awkward. "So, what's the mission you've got me on?" I asked, stepping back.

"There's a man out there we could use in the Avengers. He's powerful alright, and clever, and he could be a great asset. Unfortunately, he can be a bit stubborn."

"So you're sending me to negotiate. Because, what? I'm disposable?"

"No. Because you're the new kid; you get to do the dirty work." Fury seems all business most of the time, but he loves making fun of the agents. And me.

"So where is this guy?" I asked.

"Well," Fury began. He was cut off by one of the agents stationed at one of the many computers in the room.

"Sir, something's wrong with the computers." She said, looking worriedly at the screen. Fury walked around to the screen to see windows popping up full of code, scrolling down at a fast pace.

"Someone's trying to hack us." He said. That's when we heard the crackling of the PA system. And a voice rang through the headquarters.

"Testing, 1, 2, 3. Testing, 1, 2, 3." I recognized the voice immediately. It was Stark.

"What the hell is he doing on the PA?" I exclaimed.

"This is a message for a Ms. Wendy Trescott," He continued. "Bruce would like to go out with you." My face turned red as I realized everyone in the room was staring at me.

"Stark!" I heard Bruce's flustered voice from the background. "What are you doing?"

"Helping you, now shut up. Whaddyou say, Wendy? Let's have an answer." An answer? Could he hear me from… wherever he was holed up? Did I even want to go on a date with Bruce? Think, Wendy, think. You messed it up royally last time; don't blow your second chance.

"Um… yes?" I said to the air.

"Good. He'll pick you up on the tarmac, tomorrow at four." The PA crackled out.

I heard Coulson's voice from behind me.

"Pay up, Fury."


	4. Chapter 4: Welcome to the Team

**Author's note: I'm fairly proud of this chapter, at least the first bit. Originally I didn't actually have the date scene, I just casually mentioned that they had gone to a restaurant in LA. Then at the last moment I realized "OMIGOSH the readers are gonna kill me for that!" and I typed up the whole thing in like five minutes. I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out. And, mirage22? Yes, Coulson was betting that Wendy and Bruce would end up together. Nice touch, no? You can thank my girlfriend for that one. :) So read, enjoy, review! I won't keep you any longer.**

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The date was… oh, who am I kidding. The date was amazing. Stark got ahold of a S.H.I.E.L.D helicopter to fly us both down to solid ground, which my feet hadn't touched in weeks, and we went to this classy restaurant in Los Angeles, up on the top floor of a high rise building.

"Wow. This is the first time In a long while I've been someplace this classy." I remember remarking to Bruce as I sat down.

"The same for me. Places like this tend to turn to rubble if I stay too long." I couldn't help it; I giggled.

"I'm sorry, it's not funny."

"No." He had said. "It's okay to laugh. That's one of the reasons I like you so much, Wendy. You're not afraid to talk about my... condition." I smiled. Things were going well!

"You realize it's kind of pathetic, right?" He looked at me questioningly. "For Stark to have to ask me out for you?" He smiled, sheepishly.

"He has a tendency to meddle, yes. In his defense, he's really only trying to look out for my best interests." I listened intently as he continued. "Up until about a year ago, when I was found by Natasha and dragged into this whole "Avengers" thing, I still believed that anyone I tried to get close to would meet an... unpleasant end."

"What was her name?" I asked. He looked surprised.

"What?"

"What was her name?" I repeated. He sighed.

"Her name was Betty." Of course. I'd heard talk about her. "We had a... complicated relationship. Eventually, my situation led to me having to cut all ties with her, erase myself from her life." He looked up at me and saw my sad smile. "B-but, don't think you're a replacement for her!" He said hurriedly. "You're nothing like her, believe me! She was soft, and sweet, and timid, and-"

"And I'm hardened and bitter?" I interrupted him. I watched with a kind of satisfaction as a flush began to spread across his cheeks. "Don't worry, Bruce. I'm used to it." He laughed nervously and looked up to see a waitress delivering our food.

"Grilled salmon for the gentleman, and spaghetti with meatballs for the lady." We thanked her, and she went on her way. Before digging into my spaghetti, I reached for the bottle of hot-sauce in the middle of the table and splashed a bunch on.

"Isn't that a bit much?" Bruce said, obviously amused as he tore off a piece of salmon with his fork.

"Nah, I like it spicy. It's a challenge." He chuckled.

"What about you?" He said.

"Hm?" I was a bit distracted as I tried to twirl my spaghetti up my fork Italian-style.

"You get to ask me about Betty, I get to ask you about your old flames. Who hurt you so bad?" I went quiet and set down my fork. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"No, no it's okay." I put my elbows on the table. "Her name was Marie." He looked surprised. "Well, her given name was Marie. She liked to be called Ailoura. Said it was Greek for "cat" or something like that. I really loved her, you know? We'd spend hours together up on the roof looking at the stars, imagining ourselves living in big, fancy mansions with butlers and Jacuzzis, instead of our shitty little low-rent apartments. But one day... we were walking in the city, and we got mugged. And I just went berserk on the guys. When I woke up... she was gone, and I was covered in blood, and she never came back." His eyes widened. "Oh, no no not like that." I said quickly. "I thought that at first too, that I'd… you know. But I saw her again a few weeks later, holding some guy's hand in the park."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know." He finally said.

"Exactly; you didn't. And you don't get a free pass to spend the whole date moping around feeling sorry for me." I smiled as I waved the fork at him playfully. He smiled back, and dug a fork into his salmon, holding it out for me to try. I raised one eyebrow.

"Come on. I saw you watching it with covetous eyes."

"Oh, impressive vocab." I said sarcastically. I stuck my mouth over the fork and took the morsel. It was good; really good. You get what you pay for, right? "Now you." I stabbed a meatball and held it out for him. Let's just say, my tolerance for spice is a great deal higher than his. Other than that, though, and all the depressing relationship talk, the date went great! I'm actually kind of surprised we didn't wake up in bed together. But no, I woke up in my own room, on my own palette bed, staring at my own grey ceiling. Today was the day. Fury wanted me to take a helicopter to their "neutral meeting area" to negotiate with their mystery man. I didn't understand why he didn't just tell me who I was dealing with, but I'd do anything to be able to bring my radio and my CD collection back home. Yeah, I have a CD collection. So I can't afford an iPod, so sue me.

Sitting in the helicopter on the way there, Phil, who was escorting me, looked worried. He was twiddling his thumbs and sweating a bit, asking me every five seconds if I was alright.

"Are you sure you don't want to just stay in the helicopter?" I asked skeptically.

"No." He said. "It's my duty to protect you, Miss Trescott." I shrugged. "So. How did your night with Banner go?" I turned to face him, surprised.

"Why would you want to know that?"

"I'm curious. All of us are, actually."

"If you've really gotta know, it went great. I noticed you guys were betting on us, huh?"

"That's right." He smiled. "So far I've collected forty-five dollars from Fury, ten from Barton, fifty from Romanov, and Stark still owes me ten million." I snorted.

"You were really optimistic about us, huh?"

"What can I say? I think you work well together." I smiled and turned back to the window. As it turns out, the "neutral meeting area" was a vast expanse in what looked like the Arizona desert. That wasn't a good sign; this was a good place to set off a bomb without anyone getting hurt, save for the test subjects. _Us_.

"What're you trying to pull?" I said angrily to Phil, who was climbing out of the helicopter. "What is this, a bomb range? You planning on blowing me up, is that it?"

"No, no! You've got the wrong idea! It's just that-"

"You rang?" A voice came from behind us. I turned around. A man was standing there. He had black hair, and green eyes. He held a gold staff, and he was wearing gold armor, a green cape, and a gold helmet with… oh god. The man had gold effing _horns_ sticking out of his helmet.

"You the guy we're supposed to meet?" I said boldly. Phil's eye's widened with fear.

"Wendy!" He said under his breath. "He's Loki! The god Loki!" I turned to face the guy, looking him over. Oh shit.

"Loki, stop scaring the poor things." Another voice came from behind him. I don't know how I didn't notice her before; a blonde chick with a British accent was now standing beside Loki. She was an odd sight in contrast to his green and gold finery, in a sweatjacket, jeans and sneakers.

"Oh, but it's so much fun, Rose." Loki said, smirking. Rose raised one eyebrow at him and stared him down until he looked away. "Fine, fine. Negotiations, correct?"

"That's right." I said, striking my bravest stance. "Fury wants you in the Avengers."

"Ha!" He laughed. "And why would I join your petty organization, considering what you did to me last time we met?" I paused. Why _would_ he join up?

"Loki, you should do it." Rose said. I let go of the breath I was mentally holding.

"What? Why?" Loki asked, bewildered.

"Because it would be good for you! Helping people for a change, using your powers for good!"

"Rose, dear, they're my mortal enemies!"

"And what did _you_ do to _them_ last time you met?" He was speechless. Somehow this woman, who was at least nine inches shorter and a whole lot more human than the god who stood before them, was completely manipulating him. One word; _respect._

"Rose, please don't make me do this." Loki said with a pained expression.

"I won't make you." She whispered in his ear as she caressed the side of his face with her painted nails. "But if you do this for me, not for S.H.I.E.L.D, it could come back to you in a good way, yeah?" A pleased smirk spread across Loki's face.

"Very well, my dear Rose." He looked at us, clearly unamused. "We'll be taking our leave now." He said.

"Uh, wait." Phil said. "You'll need this." He crossed the distance between them to hand Loki a S.H.I.E.L.D issue buzzer, just like the one I carry. Loki took it grudgingly, eyeing Phil critically.

"Ah; agent Coulson. The last time we met, you were not in the best of states." There was a brief stare-off, until Loki finally broke the silence. "Forgive and forget, yes?" Then he left. Not walked away; he just sort of teleported out. I turned to Phil. He looked at me. I couldn't help it.

"Wpsh!" I made a whipping motion with my hand. He chuckled, which was the most I'd ever gotten out of him. And on the ride home, I made up a nice little song in my head;

I'm gonna get my CDs back, I'm gonna get my CDs back!

Repeat ad infinitum.

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**Author's note: Yeah, yeah I know... "Roski? What were you thinking!" Well, personally, I can't see Loki with anyone other than Rose. They're my favorite pairing! (Other than Science Boyfriends. And Frost Iron. Don't worry, there's none of that here.)**


	5. Chapter 5: An Archaic System

**Author's note: Heya! I told you, didn't I? Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I'm a little late today, given that I was a bit preoccupied this morning, but still; enjoy! Yes, I know, I know; another short chapter; but you just wait for chapter six. That's when it gets really fun!**

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God, it's nice to have all my stuff back.

As promised, Fury let me take a trip to my old apartment and bring back anything I wanted, including good 'ol Cassie! I stashed her under my pillow. I brought my wardrobe, (I was wearing a black cut-out t-shirt and dark blue jeans) my CD player, my posters, (My walls looked like an altar to Wade Wilson and Black Sabbath) and my CD collection. I plugged the player in and chose a disc at random. Heavy rock music began blasting from the speakers. I couldn't resist; I threw up my rock hands and started banging my head to the beat. After yesterday's mission, I had had a few questions. What, for instance, was the history with Phil and Loki? His answer?

"He killed me." You'd better believe my jaw had dropped to the floor.

"He what?" I had said.

"He killed me. Or, at least for a while. But Fury's medical team... they're impressive. Well trained, to say the least. I died more than once, actually, but when I finally came back for good... well, you should have seen the faces when everyone learned I was alive and well."

"Um, Wendy?" Bruce walked in, interrupting my train of thought. I looked up, blowing hair out of my face.

"Bruce, hey!" I jumped into his arms and let him hold me up while I kissed him, which sounds sort of weird, but trust me; he's strong enough.

"You finally got all your stuff back!" He said, letting me down. He listened for a second to the song I was playing. "Is this Marilyn Manson?" He questioned, looking at me with an amused smile.

"What'd you think I'd be listening to, the bible on tape?" He laughed. I love his laugh.

"So, hey, why'd you stop by?"

"That's a good question. I actually need your help."

"With what?"

"I need some files on my old laboratory for my research, but I couldn't find them in the computer." I gasped and put my hand to my chest in mock-surprise. "I know, the world must be coming to an end." He smiled. "Anyway, I was hoping you'd help me search through some of the more physical files. I think Fury still keeps some actual paper around here somewhere."

"Sure, I'll help." I said. "But will you make it worth my while?" I stood on my tiptoes and put my arms around his neck.

"Well," He said. "I was thinking I could convince the lunch-ladies to serve five alarm chili tonight."

"Deal." I grinned. Not what I had in mind, but good enough. I was still probably going to jump him later, though.

As it turns out, there actually were physical, paper files in the S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters. A huge room in a forgotten corner of the helicarrier full of cobwebs and file cabinets attested to that.

"Here we are. The last remnants of an archaic system that the modern world has all but abandoned since the invention of computers. I just need to see if I still remember how to use these things." I had something a little less astute on my mind.

"Holy _shit_ this place is _huge_!" I exclaimed. Bruce chuckled.

"S.H.I.E.L.D has files on just about everything you could ever want to know about down here." He said, pulling open a file cabinet. "No." He opened another. "No, no no. Aha! Here it is."

"Here's what? The file?"

"No, the B section. We should start looking over here." And so began the long, tedious job of, as they say, looking for a needle in a haystack. If the needle was colored like hay. And shaped like it. And the haystack was the size of the helicarrier. We sifted through files for hours. Bruce seemed as focused as ever, but I eventually found myself drifting away from the B section. And one of the files caught my eye. It was a file on me. I looked over to see if Bruce was looking my way, then opened the file. My eyes scanned the page. Blah blah blah, stuff I already knew, blah blah blah… wait. This was interesting. I pulled out a piece of paper. Blueprints for my collar. "I found it!" I heard Bruce's delighted voice from the B section. I quickly folded up the blueprints and put the file back.

"That's great!" I said. "What exactly were you looking for, anyway?"

"Alright. It sounds stupid, but I needed to know where the sand came from in the bomb range my lab used."

"The sand?" I questioned.

"Just about anything can interfere with an experiment. Temperature, time of day, and especially surroundings. I could be able to use this to…" He trailed off.

"To cure yourself?" I finished for him.

"No, it's nothing like that. I gave up on that a long time ago." He sighed and put the file under his arm. "What I need to do is to make sure nothing like this ever happens to anyone. Ever again." I smiled. I put my arms around him and kissed his cheek.

"Saving the world, one file at a time, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess so." He grinned.

"So." I said as we walked out. "You mentioned chili?"

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**Reviews, please? Pleeeeease? (Read in Moriarty's voice). For Zoidberg? (V) (;,,;) (V)**


	6. Chapter 6: The Evening Star

**Author's note: Alright, folks, this is where it gets interesting. I commend you if you've stuck with me this long, and you will be rewarded, because it only gets better from here. Wait until chapter seven! I shan't keep you any longer, however. Enjoy!**

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I sat in my room, staring intently at the blueprints. The A/C was blasting through the vents of the helicarrier, being as we were flying pretty near Utah right then. I'd been studying the prints for days, but I couldn't figure out anything useful. There didn't seem to be any way around the explosive device rigged to go "boom" if I tried to get the necklace off. All I could figure out was a way to tweak the voltage. (What? So I studied engineering in high school.) Well, it's better than nothing. I thought to myself. Now all I needed was a way to open the control panel…

"Oh, naughty girl." I practically jumped out of my skin. Loki was leaning against my wall, and I'm pretty sure he wasn't there before.

"How the hell did you get in here?" I asked. He smiled smugly.

"Easy. All I have to do is snap my fingers, and" He disappeared in an instant from the spot in front of me. "I can teleport just about anywhere." He whispered into my ear from behind. I jumped up and ran to the other side of the room. He chuckled. "I shudder to think what Fury would do if he were to find you with those blueprints. I don't believe that collar is meant to be a temporary accessory."

"Of course it is." I said, twitching. "Fury said he'd remove it once I learn to be a functioning member of society."

"And what reason do you have to trust him?" He replied, sitting down on the bed. "What has he done for you, other than steal you from your home, confiscate your property and fit you with that lovely piece of jewelry you're trying so hard to remove?" I said nothing. Everything he was saying… it was all technically true. "Not to mention." He continued. "At what point are you counting on becoming a 'functioning member of society'? Do you really think you'll be able to turn yourself around like that? And do you really want to?" I swallowed nervously.

"Did you want something with me?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact I did. Fury is calling a meeting of the Avengers."

"So he sent you to get me?" I raised one eyebrow.

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean, not exactly?"

"Oh, I only thought I'd inform you that the Avengers were meeting. What you decide on doing with the information is entirely up to you." He stood up and checked an imaginary watch on his wrist. "Ah. Fury's doors will be opening soon. Of course, once a door is opened any manner of creatures could slip through…" He left through the door, no less. Gee… subtlety really isn't his thing. I waited a minute, then stepped out the door. I walked the halls until I got to Fury's office, and slipped in after Stark, hiding myself behind a stand of potted plants. Used to be furniture in Fury's office was barer than Bruce's lab, but he seemed to be… redecorating lately. It seemed all the Avengers had been gathered. Iron Man, Captain America, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Thor, Loki, Rose, even my Bruce; The Hulk.

"Can I just ask why we're all here?" Stark asked, addressing Fury. "Pepper and I were in the middle of something, if you know what I mean."

"Yes, well." Captain America, or "Steve" as I call him, said. "Despite Stark's subtleties, I think we'd all like to know why we're here."

"You're here because of this." Fury said. He pressed a button on a small remote in his hand, and a projection took up the window in the back of the room. It was a woman, sitting in fancy leather office chair behind a desk. Her hair was long, and black like her eyes. Her skin was fair, and her lips as red as blood. Hell, anyone who didn't know me would've thought we were related.

"Hello, Nick." She said with a devious smile. "It's me again." Wendy saw Fury scowl at the woman in the projection. "If I did everything right, you should be watching this about now. No doubt you have your little "Avengers" huddled around the screen, too. Good. Because I'm here to deliver a message; I'm back. And this time, I _will_ succeed." The video blipped out.

"Who was that, and is she single?" Stark asked.

"And what about Pepper?" Bruce said. Stark raised a finger as if in protest, then promptly lowered it.

"That," Fury said. "Was Charlotte Vanderburg, codenamed the Evening Star. A very well known, very dangerous woman who I've dealt with in the past. We picked up the transmission this morning."

"She called you "Nick." Stark remarked. "Nobody calls you Nick."

"Like I said, I've dealt with her in the past." Nobody pressed the issue.

"What threat does she pose?" Bruce asked. "She said _this time_. What happened last time?"

"She nearly assumed control of all the world's governments."

"And how did she do that?" Loki asked. "She doesn't look very powerful to me.

"Charlotte is a mutant, born with some very… _interesting _powers. She can crawl into your mind and use you like a puppet, controlling you from the inside out." Clint shuddered, and Natasha put a hand on his shoulder. Fury continued. "Her powers started to show in high-school. She used them to get back at bullies, teachers she decided she didn't like. Eventually, the authorities caught wind of it. But by then it was too late; three of her classmates were found dead. Charlotte was apprehended, and spent eight years in a mental hospital. When she finally got out, she lay low. Played the goody-goody for a few years. But all the while she was amassing a following. And by the time she made her move, she had a goon in every branch of the U.S. government. She almost had the entire country under her boot. But S.H.I.E.L.D stormed the white-house in a last ditch effort to stop her. A couple of agents cornered her on the roof. And she jumped. The last I saw her, she was lying on the ground with a snapped neck, in a pool of her own blood."

"Then how is she here now?" Natasha asked. "If she died the last time you saw her…"

"Necromancy." Thor piped up. Everyone looked at him. "Necromancy, magic which is used to control the dead. It is a rare magic, but not uncommon. We may have a necromancer on our hands."

"Well, would you look at that?" Loki scoffed. "A thought actually managed to penetrate that thick skull of yours."

"I would watch your words, brother." Thor growled. He stepped closer to Loki, hands poised above his hammer, Mijolnir.

"Calm it down, boys." Fury said. Rose held tight to Loki's arm and Natasha did her part to subdue Thor, albeit with some looks from Clint. "At the moment our enemy is Charlotte. We don't need to be fighting each other."

"Ah-choo!" I sneezed from behind the plant. Oh crap.

"Unless ficusses developed nasal passages and no one told me, we've got an uninvited guest." Stark said. Thor walked up to the plant and pulled me out from behind it by the back of my shirt, lifting my feet off the ground.

"Put me the _hell_ down!" I shouted as the collar buzzed and crackled. I saw Bruce looking at me out of the corner of my eye. He didn't look surprised in the least. Figures.

"Trescott, what were you doing back there?" Fury asked testily.

"Wouldja get goldilocks over here to put me down first?" Stark snorted, and Loki gave a little chuckle. Fury sighed, and nodded, and I was returned to the floor. Fury looked at me, expectantly. At the same time, Loki was giving me the same look. Let's see… which did I least want pissed at me, the director of S.H.I.E.L.D, or the god of mischief? "Loki told me about the meeting. I thought I'd swing by." Just as I had expected, Loki tensed and glared daggers at me, but Rose tightened her grip on his arm. With him on such a short leash, I was pretty much guaranteed safe for the moment. "So." I said. "What're you planning to do about this "Star" Woman?"

"I was getting to that." Fury said. "At the moment, the best thing we can do is to arm ourselves."

"Got it." Stark said, making a move to stand up from his chair.

"With knowledge." Fury finished firmly. "But we will need your help. See if you can track where that video came from."

"That, I can also do." Stark said. He stood up and moved over to one of the computers, and he began to type furiously. "Honestly, Fury, when're you going to upgrade to 3D projections? This whole "typing" thing feels too much like manual labor." Fury ignored him, turning to the others.

"The rest of you, ready yourselves. Trescott?" I froze, in the middle of trying to sneak out of the room.

"Yeah?" I turned my head.

"That means you too."

"Say what?" I stepped away from the door, facing Fury. "You mean… you want me on this mission?"

"Like it or not, you became a part of the mission when you snuck in here. None of the information I disclosed was meant to leave this room. So the way I see it, it's help, or die."

"Isn't there supposed to be a "cake" option somewhere?" I joked nervously.

"Not today."

"Done." Stark said triumphantly from his seat.

"How did you do that so fast?" Steve asked, genuinely amazed.

"Oh, I see where you're confused. See, in modern days, we don't use paper anymore. We have these things called "computers", and-"

"Stark?" Fury said. "Shut it."

"I was just trying to help." Stark said, holding up his hands in mock-defense as he stepped away to let Fury look at the computer.

"New York." Fury said. "She's in Queens, New York."

"What's she doing in Queens?" Steve asked.

"God knows. But whatever she's doing there, we've got her right down to the address. Natasha, Wendy?" I looked up, surprised that my name had been called. "Prepare for a stealth mission."


	7. Chapter 7: Wendy Takes Manha- er, Queens

**Author's note: Okay, I'm super proud of this chapter, so please read and review! A thanks to everyone who's followed, favorite, or even just read my story. I love you guys, I really do!**

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A few hours and a helicopter later, there we were. Natasha and I, standing in the middle of Queens, New York. "Wow." I muttered to myself. "This place is big."

"Yeah. Which will make finding Charlotte that much harder." Natasha was wearing street clothes today, which was a sight in itself. Black sandals, a black sundress, a black handbag, and these big sunglasses that took up about half her face. The sundress had a rather, erm, _low_ neckline I was finding it hard to avert my eyes from. Her wrist was adorned with what looked like a pretty bit of jewelry, but was actually a mini-GPS. It was leading us to the spot Stark had tracked Charlotte to. I put my hand to my collar, smiling. It had been disabled for the trip. This was to be my first combat mission since I had arrived at the headquarters, and I was eagerly awaiting my chance to take out my frustrations on Charlotte and her goons.

"Never been to New York before." I mused. "You think I'll get to see the Empire State building? The Statue of Liberty?"

"Those are both in Manhattan. We're in Queens."

"Oooh, can we see the naked cowboy?" I said enthusiastically. She just looked at me sideways.

"No. No we can't. And I would focus less on tourism and more on blending in." She said, looking me critically up and down. I could only assume she was referring to my piercings. And my outfit, which, to be honest, looked like a gothic thrift-store had thrown up all over me. Big black boots and short black shorts came together to hide all but a little patch of skin near the tops of my thighs. _That_ was safely hidden by some dark pantyhose. I wore a black spaghetti-strap top, and a black leather jacket. There was a chain around my neck with a silver ankh hanging off it. I had even gone so far that day as to don my favorite "Black Pearl" lipstick. I snickered.

"Blending in?" I said. "Look around you! This is New York, baby!" I gestured around me to the many, many people trying their hardest to look unique in exactly the same way as everyone else. Everywhere you looked you could see body piercings, dyed hair, and exaggerated gothic-biker-esque outfits, people with big, black glasses and "ironic" t-shirts, people wearing pajama pants in broad daylight. And at least one guy riding a bike with a five-foot high front wheel. I wish I was kidding.

"I see your point." Natasha admitted reluctantly.

"So. Which way's the bad guy?" She looked at the GPS.

"Fifteen degrees north of here." I looked at her blankly. "That way." She pointed.

"There you go. Now you're speaking my language." We set on our way, trying to navigate the crowd without getting separated.

"Hey." I said. She turned to me.

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Can I ask you something? Why is Rose in the Avengers?" She listened. "I mean, I get Loki. He's the friggin' god of mischief. But Rose is just a normal, human woman. Hell, every time I see her she's in sweats!"

"You didn't know? Rose is the Bad Wolf."

"The what now?"

"The Bad Wolf. She has the power of the universe coursing through her body. She could scatter your atoms to every corner of the dimension if she wanted to." I gulped.

"Well, how the hell did she get like that?" Natasha sighed.

"From what I know, she used to travel through time and space with a man called the Doctor."

"Wait. Time?"

"Yes." She left it at that. "Something happened, and she gained the power of the universe itself."

"Wow. So… don't get on her bad side?"

"I wouldn't." We walked in silence for a bit.

"I hope there are no hard feelings." She said eventually. I looked at her, questioningly. She continued, still walking. "I _am_ the one who captured you and brought you here. I just hope you don't resent me for it."

"Hard feelings?" I said. "Imagine your entire existence revolves around combat. You've spent your whole life believing you're the best, and there's not a soul in the world who can beat you. Then one day someone comes along and completely _dominates_ you in _your own home_." We stopped. She braced herself for the inevitable argument. But rather than start a shouting match right then and there, I shut my mouth and kept walking. "Come on. Charlotte won't wait up for us." She caught up to me quickly, and we both kept our eyes on the sidewalk beneath us as we walked. I have to admit… I wasn't actually mad at her. To be honest, I kind of… worshipped her. No one had ever beaten me before Natasha. No-one. But what would she think of me if I just gave up the fight then and there? I have a reputation for holding a mean grudge, and I wasn't about to let that go.

"Wait." Natasha eventually said.

"What is it now?" I asked impatiently.

"The GPS is recalibrating. Hang on." I sighed and leaned against the wall of a coffee place as I waited for her to give the O.K. That's when, for some inexplicable reason, I decided to look up. I saw, in the distance, a red blob swinging through the air between the buildings. I squinted to watch it as it got closer and closer. The red blob became a young, male figure as it zipped over head of us and right over the coffee shop.

"Spiderman?" I muttered. I stood there for a good two milliseconds before curiosity got the best of me. Then I leapt up and scrambled onto the awning of the coffee place and over the building itself.

"Trescott?" I heard Natasha shout. But I was long gone. I hopped from roof to roof, following the red blob I was getting progressively closer to. I smiled to myself. I'm faster than Spiderman! I thought. I was only just starting to get a bit winded when he stopped in front of a bank. The alarm was going off and a bunch of robbers were making off with some bags full of cash. It couldn't have been any more Loony Toons if there were dollar signs painted on the bags. I watched from the roof of the building I was perched on as Spiderman swooped in and webbed one of the guys to the wall. He was just like everyone said; the entire time he fought he was talking incessantly, making bad jokes, and using worse wordplay. In a few minutes he had all three guys webbed to some surface or another, and a note on the ringleader, most likely signed from "Your friendly neighborhood Spiderman" wait a minute… I thought. Three? There were four guys… I heard footsteps to my left, and looked down into the alley below to see one of the robbers running fast away from the scene. I smiled. Looked like Spidey could use some help. I jumped down into the alley, and the guy froze as he heard my boots connect with the pavement.

"It's your lucky day, bub." I said as I approached him, twitching and cracking my knuckles. "I'm out for good behavior." I socked him in the stomach, and he wheezed as he stumbled back. I quickly wrapped my leg around his and pulled his feet out from under him, and he fell to the floor, me holding his arms behind his back. Lessee… what was I supposed to do with him now? Fury would kill me if I finished the job too thoroughly. Luckily the job was done for me. I stepped back fast as a blast of webbing shot at the guy, pinning him to the ground.

"What was that for?" Spiderman said, looking as pissed as a guy behind a mask can. "I could've handled him!"

"You?" I scoffed. "You didn't even notice him!"

"It's vigilantes like you that-" He stopped himself. "Aw, man, I'm starting to sound like Jameson…"

"Just admit it. If I hadn't stepped in, that guy would've gotten away clean." I stepped closer to him, looking him in the… eye? Mask? Whatever.

"Who are you, anyway?!" He asked.

"Wendy Trescott. And I know you. You're the friendly neighborhood Spiderman. What're you doing putting away small-time thieves?"

"That's what I always do." He replied. "It's not always Green Goblin and Doc Oc around here." He paused to scratch his chin. "Come to think of it, who are you?"

"You asked that already."

"No, I mean really. Who are you?"

"I'm here on a mission for S.H.I.E.L.D."

"You work for S.H.I.E.L.D?" He said eagerly. I nodded. Well, it was technically true. "I've been trying to get those guys to notice me for ages! How'd you get in? What's your power?" My power?

"Bad-assery." I replied. And he cracked _up_.

"I am so going to use that later!" He said. "But seriously, what-" He was interrupted by the electronic jangling of _All the Single Ladies_. "Oh, hold on." He said, pulling a cell phone out from a hidden pocket in his suit.

"Nice ringtone." I remarked.

"Shut up." He said as he held the phone to his ear.

"WHERE ARE YOU?" He jerked the phone outward at the loud, panicked voice coming from the speaker. "I slave over a hot microwave for minutes on end and you can't even bother to come home in time to eat before it gets cold? I made chimichangas Pete! _Chimichangas! _For _you!_"

"Wade, hold on!" the voice at the other end continued to blubber loudly and unintelligibly. "I said hold on, you're on speakerphone!" I watched, fascinated as Spiderman, or "Pete" as he was apparently called, turned the phone off speakerphone and continued to talk to this Wade character.

"Wade, calm down." He said. A pause. "You _do_ know I don't even like chimichangas, right?" He pulled the phone away from his ear again. More unintelligible blubbering. "CALM DOWN!" Pete shouted into the phone. He held it back to his ear. "I don't know, it's just that the way you make them they always turn out so spicy…" Another pause. "You know what a non-sequitur is, right Wade? Never mind. I'll be home in ten minutes, fifteen, _tops._ Alright. Bye. Love you too." He ended the call and put the phone back into his pocket.

"Pete?" I said questioningly.

"Oh, yeah… I'm going to kill him for that."

"And who's Wade?"

"My boyfriend."

"Wait, so you're…?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Oh, it's just interesting is all." I thought a moment. "What's a chimichanga?"

"A deep-fried burrito." I opened my mouth wide in mock-surprise.

"Oh, food of un-holy foods."

"You don't know the half of it." He said. "Look, I've gotta get home or he'll throw another fit. Nice talking to you. Sort of." I waved, and he shot off into the sky. Something clicked in my head as he was leaving.

"Wait!" I shouted. He leapt back down into the alley.

"What now?"

"By Wade, do you mean Wade _Wilson?_"

"Yeah. Anything else?" My mouth gaped. This time in actual shock.

"No, I think I'm just about fine.

"Good. Bye again." And he flew off again.

I just met Spiderman. I thought to myself. And, more importantly, I just met Wade Wilson's _boyfriend. _Wait… what was I doing again?

"Trescott!" I heard Natasha's voice from behind me. I turned, and she was standing in the alley with me, looking… unhappy. It looked like she had almost broken a sweat chasing after me; almost. "Why did you run off like that?" She demanded, trying to keep her cool.

"I just met Spiderman!" I said excitedly. "And get this; he's dating _Deadpool_!"

"Deadpool? You mean the psychotic mercenary Deadpool?" I nodded. "Ah. I see why you would be excited."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" She started walking back in the direction the GPS was pointing. I followed her without even realizing it.

"I'm only saying it seems like you two would have a lot in common."

"Ha! I wish. Deapool's a fricking _legend _in my world. This is a man who's an expert in firearms, blade weapons, hand-to-hand, not to mention the whole _immortal_ thing. He's my hero!"

"Your world? I thought you'd left that life behind."

"_Hell_ no. Soon as I get out of this collar, me and Cassie are going on a spree, you'd better believe it."

"I think you mean Cassie and I."

"Frankly, I don't give a crap, Ms. Grammar Nazi."

"I'm Russian, not German." I didn't answer. "And if you want to sound intelligent, then it's Cassie and I. Not me and Cassie." She paused to think. "Who's Cassie, anyway? Girlfriend?" I chuckled.

"Nah, but close. Cassie's my gun, my best gun."

"What kind?"

"44 caliber Magnum revolver. Silver."

"Impressive."

"Hell yeah, it's impressive! She once blew a guy's eye out from half a mile away!"

"Yeah. Right."

"No, really! I can't count how many times she's saved my life."

"You keep referring to her as "she". Talking about her like she's alive."

"How do you know she isn't?" Natasha looked amused.

"You know, romantic relationships with inanimate objects never work out. I should know."

"What!? It's not like I have a crush on her or anything, I just-" I paused. "Wait, what do you mean you should know?"

"We're here." She said. We were standing in front of a dingy old brick hotel. It looked almost like my place back in 'Cisco. "Time to get to work."

"Are you going to answer my question?" I asked as I followed her to the side of the building. She looked at the GPS and then back at the building.

"If I'm reading this thing right, she should be in that room there." She pointed to a window in the corner of the building. She pulled a pair of binoculars out from her handbag, hid herself in the bushes and watched. Just watched. I just stood there, waiting. I looked at the sky. Tapped my foot. Twiddled my thumbs. "What are you doing over there?" She said, lowering the binoculars. I sighed. Then marched over to Natasha and took the binoculars. "What do you think you're doing?" She said as I lifted the binoculars and focused them on the window.

"There's no one in there." I said.

"How would you know?"

"I can't see anyone, Einstein."

"Alright then. What do you propose we do?" I smirked. And headed toward the front door of the building. I walked right in, Natasha following me.

"Excuse me, can I help you?" The man behind the front desk said. I took a second to come up with a story in my head. Then turned, and gave the guy my biggest, friendliest smile.

"It's more what I can do to help you. I'm Miranda Van Hansen, and this is Dorothy Adams. We're here to give you a hand with your little problem."

"What problem? He said, confused, as he stepped out from behind the desk.

"What problem?" I snuck a peek at his nametag. "Why, Joseph, nobody told you? This entire building is infested with chartreuse mold!"

"Ch-chartreuse mold?" Joseph stuttered. "Where did you hear this?"

"Why, your manager!" Natasha stepped in. "He's the one who called us here. Now, I'd clear the building if I were you. Chartreuse mold is highly toxic when inhaled." Ha! Good old Natasha! I didn't think she'd help me on this one, but I was grateful. A lie always seems more credible with a third party to back it up.

"But I haven't noticed anything…"

"Of course not! Look around!" I gestured to the walls. All painted chartreuse. You didn't think I'd just chosen some arbitrary color, did you?"

"Well, why are you two alright?" He asked. Uh oh… think, Wendy, think!

"Spray." I said. "We're both coated in a special spray made from millions of nanites that instantly cling to and neutralize any particles of chartreuse mold they come in contact with." One of my best lies yet. I glanced at Natasha. She nodded, backing up my story.

"Oh…" He said nervously. "Oh dear. Oh, dear." He picked up a phone on the desk and pressed a button near the bottom that said "all rooms". "Attention all guests," He announced. "There is a problem with the hotel, we ask you to evacuate _immediately._" There was a flood of guests pouring out the doors, and Natasha and I (_not_ "me and Natasha", thank you very much) navigated our way up to Charlotte's room in the chaos. Joseph and the guests were all waiting around outside for a hazmat team to arrive and tell them that there is, in fact, no such thing as chartreuse mold. We had to work fast. Charlotte's room was at the end of the hall on the second floor. Locked, of course. I pulled out a pick and got to work.

"Where did you have that?" Natasha asked. I hesitated.

"You don't want to know." I said as I worked.

"Can you even pick a lock?" I turned briefly, then went back to the lock.

"Honey," I said, my eyes still on the door. "I broke out of Russia's toughest prison singlehandedly. I can pick a frickin' lock. Just give me… there!" The lock clicked, and I opened the door. As I stepped into the room, I heard a faint click, and stepped back fast. Nothing.

"What was that?" Natasha asked.

"I dunno, I…" I stopped. The ground beneath the door looked… funny. I kneeled over and pulled up a piece of carpet, to find a weird little mechanism buried under the floor.

"Aha." I heard Natasha say from behind me, as she picked something off my shoe. I turned to get a good look at it. It was a teeny, blinking little gadget, presumably a GPS chip. I smiled.

"Charlotte, you sneaky bitch." We walked into the room. The bed and all the rest of the furniture were pushed to the sides of the room, and set up in one corner were the desk and office chair we had seen in the transmission. "Well, we know where she's been." I said, looking the desk over for any kind of evidence, clues, hints. Nothing. I doubted there were even any fingerprints on the thing.

"And, where she's going." Natasha said cryptically. I looked up, and arched one eyebrow, twitching.

"Is that so? Enlighten me."

"Think about it. We have a GPS transmitter wired to send information to her. If we can reverse-engineer the thing, then?"  
"We can find wherever it's transmitting to!" I said. I had to admit, that was something I'd never thought of.

"Someone's eager." She said, jokingly.

"Screw you." Sometimes, all you need are the classics. She ignored me, putting her finger to the comm in her ear.

"Fury, we've done the job. Where do you want to pick us up?"

Just a few short minutes later, we were back on the helicarrier, standing in front of Fury.

"Well, what did you find?" He asked.

"This." I said triumphantly, holding out the GPS device I had convinced Natasha to let me carry.

"A GPS tracker. Good work."

"We figured we could use it to find her.

"We?" Natasha looked at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine, fine. It was her idea."

"I don't care whose idea it was, as long as it works." He pocketed the device.

"Wait, hold on." We heard Stark from the corner. He had his hand up to his ear.

"Whaddyou mean-" He shushed me, cutting me off. I growled, clenching my fists.

"Do I have to turn the collar back on?" Fury asked.

"Can't I just punch him once before you do?" He actually seemed to be thinking about it, but Stark interrupted him.

"That was Jarvis. According to him, there's a tracking signal being transmitted from this room. And not from your little gadget." Fury frowned.

"But what's transmitting it, then?" Stark pointed at Natasha and me.

"They are." Natasha and I looked at each other, confused. He walked over to me and swiped my shoulder with his finger. "Tiny little tracker bugs, smaller than a grain of sand. By now they've woven themselves into every fiber in your outfit. And I'll bet that little gadget of yours is a dud, meant to distract you. This Charlotte woman is good."

"Well, how do we get them off?" Natasha asked.

"Oh, don't worry. I've had run-ins with these things before. I've got a special detergent that'll wash 'em clean out." We both looked at him sideways. "No, seriously. I'm gonna need your clothes, though." He looked at us expectantly.

"We are _not_ stripping in front of you, Stark." I said.

"Ah, well, it was worth a try."

"So, it was all for nothing then?" I said, dismayed that I had wasted a good lie on a dead end.

"Not necessarily." Stark said. "We can use these mini-trackers for the same thing we would've used the big one for. I'll save a few, and bing-bang-boom we've got ourselves a bad guy!" I smiled. Our effort hadn't gone to waste after all!

"I'm going to go get changed." I said. Natasha nodded, following me. As I was walking out the door, something stopped me. Wasn't Fury going to turn the collar back on? I turned.

"Yes, Trescott?" Fury said, looking up from a conversation with one of his agents. I turned back. If he'd forgotten, better not remind him. "Oh yeah; forgot one thing." I heard a click, and my collar buzzed affirmatively.

"Thanks." I said, sarcastically.

"Any day." He replied, smiling. I swear, some days I think Fury's worse than me…

Nah.


	8. Chapter 8: There's a Spider on my Webcam

**Author's note: Got another review the other day. Three cheers for Roski supporters! I knew there were people like me out there, I just had to find them! Anyway, hope you like this chapter, 'cause it's one of my favorites. Basically anytime Deadpool appears, I have fun. Read and review, please!**

* * *

"Chaaarge!" I called enthusiastically from the shoulders of the huge, green giant that was my boyfriend.

"Chaaarge!" He shouted, smiling like an idiot as he raced across the tarmac with me riding on his back.

"Trescott, what in hell are you doing?" I heard Natasha shout. Hulk stopped short to avoid stepping on the Russian spy who had situated herself right in our path.

"Natasha, you look like an ant from up here!" I said.

"You're ten feet off the ground, Trescott." She said impatiently. "You're going to break something that way, you know."

"Hulk careful!" Hulk said in protest.

"That's right; Hulk _very _careful. We haven't broken anything, I promise!" Hulk nodded enthusiastically, and Natasha sighed.

"Alright. Fine. I can't believe I'm doing this, but I'll let you off the hook."

"What hook? We weren't on any hook."

"The hook of nearly destroying the helicarrier from the back of your boyfriend there."

"I'll have you know that even if I was on such a hook, I'm such an impressive fish I'd-" She interrupted me.

"Alright, let's step away from the analogy. It's getting a little ridiculous." I frowned.

"I'm just saying, if I were a fish I'd probably be a swordfish. Or maybe a great white."

"I don't think sharks count as fish."

"They live in water, don't they?"

"Then what about whales? And dolphins?" I thought about this.

"You know what you are, Natasha? You're a sea cucumber."

"Why am I a sea cucumber?"

"Mainly because you refuse to acknowledge me as a great white."

"Do you realize how moronic this conversation is?" I shrugged.

"Well, you're having it with me, aren't you?" She glared at me.

"To get back to the topic at hand, I'd appreciate it if the Green Giant over there shrunk down and got a little less green."

"Awww, but why?" I said. "We weren't doing anything wrong!"

"Technically, no. But Fury's holding a meeting of the Avengers in his office. He wants you both there, and I'm pretty sure Hulk can't fit through his door." I sighed, and turned to Hulk.

"Hulk? Can I have Bruce back?" His face fell.

"Hulk likes being Hulk, not Bruce!"

"I know, but Wendy needs Bruce now." I kissed him on the cheek, and he blushed a deep forest green. He sighed, and plucked me off his shoulders, setting me down on the ground. Soon I had my little, pink Bruce back.

"Did you guys have fun?" He said, referring to Hulk and me.

"Yup! He gave me a ride on his shoulders."

"That's nice. Um…" His gaze fell on his clothing, or lack of it. "Do you know where my shirt went?"

"I do."

"Could you tell me where it is?"

"I could."

"Are you going to?"

"No, no I'm not." He looked at me with this pathetic, desperate look. Damn, Bruce is good at puppy eyes. But I'm even better at resisting them. "Nope." I said.

"But why?"

"Because." I said, grabbing hold of his arm. "You look great shirtless." He blushed, and Natasha rolled her eyes.

"Let's get to Fury's office." She started walking toward the office, and we followed her down into the helicarrier.

When we walked in, everyone else was already there, waiting for us.

"About time." Stark said from an office chair in the corner. "Were you guys busy making out, or were you just searching Amazon for green foundation?" I scowled at him and threw him a rude gesture.

"Trescott, keep your temper under wraps." Fury said.

"Did you hear what he just said?" I said angrily. I turned to Stark. "Ah don't know what the hell's goin' on with you, but your attitude's been getting' worse an' worse!" I didn't realize until the sentence had left my mouth that I had said it with the southern drawl I'd worked so hard to eliminate. And everyone was gawking at me. "Yeah, so ah'm from Texas. So what?" I turned to Fury. "Is there a reason you wanted us here?" I said, making an effort to get my accent under control.

"Yes, well." Fury said, clearing his throat as I scooted over to stand beside Bruce. Natasha moved to be with Clint. I looked to my left to see Rose was standing next to me. The power of the universe, Natasha had said. She noticed my gaze and smiled at me, cheery and friendly-looking. She didn't look that dangerous. I looked back at Fury to hear what he had to say.

"We found Charlotte again." He said.

"It's about time." I heard Loki say. "How long ago did you send the spy and the stray on that little mission?" The "stray"? I twitched, and clenched my fists. Bruce noticed, and put a hand on my shoulder comfortingly.

"The first time we found Charlotte, it was because she wanted to be found." Fury said quickly. "This time, though, I'd say there's a good chance she genuinely thought we'd never find the nano-trackers. They weren't made to lure us to her, and so they were heavily coded. It took us a few days to track her with them."

"Ahem." Stark coughed theatrically, and Fury rolled his eyes.

"For _Stark_ to track her."

"Thank you, thank you very much." Stark said, gesturing and bowing.

"Well, where is she?" Natasha asked. Fury smiled. Wow; that's rare.

"This might interest you, Natasha. She's in Moscow." Natasha's eyes widened.

"She's in Russia?"

"Precisely why you're on this mission." Fury said.

"What about me?" I said.

"I was getting to that." Fury replied. "Given your exemplary performance on the last mission, you'll be joining Natasha in Moscow. However, there will be an addition to your team. Clint?"

"Yeah?" Clint looked up.

"You're going with them."

"Sweet." Sweet? I thought. Oh, that just sounded so intelligent. What does Natasha see in this guy, anyway?

"We'll be in Russia by tomorrow. So get ready for-" He was interrupted by a loud crackling noise, and the high-pitched whine of a mic getting too much feedback.

"Ack! Sorry, gimme a sec." Wait… that voice. A young, male voice… where did I recognize it from? The noise stopped. "Alright, that's better. Hey, there! It's-"

"The video's not on, dumbass." Another, lower voice came from the background.

"I'll have you know my ass graduated from Harvard University, and has a degree in astrophysics." Alright. The terrible joke pretty much gave it away. A projection popped up in front of the window; it was Pete. Mask and everything. He looked to be sitting in his living room. I heard Fury sigh.

"Parker, not this again."

"Shh! It's not Parker, it's Spiderman!" Pete said, looking panicked.

"Everyone here knows who you are, Parker." Pete looked around the room. "Oh, yeah… I guess you're right. Hey, Wendy!" He waved enthusiastically at me. I waved back.

"You know Spiderman?" Bruce questioned.

"Yeah!" I said. "I met him in Queens. What are you doing anyway, Pete?"

"I'm auditioning!"

"You're what?" I said dryly.

"Auditioning! I wanna be in the Avengers!" I snorted.

"You're auditioning for the Avengers?"

"That's right. You just wait, I'll get in someday. I'm as much a hero as any of you guys."

"How did you even reach us, Parker?" Fury said. "This is supposed to be a secure channel!"

"That was me." The lower voice came again. That's when a face popped up in the right side of the screen. Red and black jumpsuit, similarly colored mask. Two katanas strapped across the back. Oh. My. Effing. God. It was Deadpool! I staggered dramatically, grabbing onto Bruce's shoulder for balance.

"Wendy, are you alright?" He said worriedly.

"That's Deadpool!" I said, excited. I turned to the screen. "You're Deadpool!"

"Last time I checked, yeah." He said. "You?"

"M-my name is Wendy Trescott! I gotta say, I am your _biggest_ fan!"

"Hey, I've got a fan!" He said, sounding pleased. "Let me guess; you follow me on my My Little Pony reviews blog?"

"Um, no, I'm just a _really_ big fan of your work!" I said. I was smiling like an idiot. I didn't care. "I'm a mercenary too!" Fury coughed. "I _used_ to be a mercenary." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Well damn, why'd you quit?" Deadpool asked.

"It's a long story." I said, feeling the collar at my neck.

"Can we get back on topic here?" Fury said.

"I agree." Pete replied, pushing Deadpool out of the frame. "So, whaddyou say. Am I in the Avengers or what?" Fury opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off.

"You should come with us to Russia!"

"Trescott?" He said warningly.

"No, no, hear me out! He could come with Natasha, Clint and me to Russia as sort of a tryout. Then if he does well, he could join permanently."

"As much as I hate to admit it, that actually is a good idea." Pete pumped his fist in the air.

"But you can't wear the suit."

"Well, why not?" Pete said.

"Because this is a stealth mission. That red-and-blue onesie you're wearing? Not stealthy."

"I've gotta keep my identity secret!" He protested.

"You'll be disguised, don't worry."

"Actually, speaking of disguises," I said, raising my hand. Fury cut me off.

"We know about your history with Russia. You'll be well disguised as well." I lowered my hand.

"Alright!" Pete said. "I'm in the Avengers!" Fury looked at him sideways. "Fine, I'm on trial for the Avengers."

"What about Deadpool?" I said. Pete turned to me.

"What about him?"

"Ah, call me Wade." Deadpool, er, _Wade _stuck his head back into the frame.

"Oh, okay, um… Wade. Are you planning on coming to Russia with us?" Fury looked at me with a face that said "don't push it." I ignored him.

"Ah, I wish I could come, but I've got a job up in Texas."

"A job?" Fury said.

"Oh, nothing you've gotta worry your pretty little head about, Fury. I'm tracking down some rustlers with this guy, Eli Trescott. Real wild west."

"Wait." I said. "Did you say Eli Trescott?" He nodded. "That's my pa!" I exclaimed.

"You're joking. Small world, huh?"

"Wait. Your dad is Eli Trescott?" Stark said.

"Yeah, why?"

"Eli Trescott is a world-famous bounty hunter." Everyone in the room looked at me. I could practically hear the thought coming in unison from all of them; "oh, now I get it."

"Well, then." Fury said, interrupting. "It's settled then. You're coming to Russia, Parker?"

"That I am!" He said excitedly.

"We'll send someone to pick you up. Goodbye."

"Wait, don't-" Pete was cut off when Fury pressed a button on one of the computers, and the image disappeared.

"What was that for?" I said.

"We don't have time for small talk." Fury replied. "What I need you to do, Trescott, is to find your way to the west sector and talk to Julie. She'll help you with your new look for the mission."

"Can do." I said, saluting rather sarcastically. Steve arched his eyebrows at me, and I just arched mine back. That was about as heated as arguments with Steve ever got. "Bruce, you coming?" I said.

"Um, should I?"

"Hell yeah! I need you to tell me if I look good. Come on!" Bruce walked out the door after me. As we walked out, I heard Starks' comment.

"Gee, makes you wonder who's really wearing the collar." I probably should've been offended. But I couldn't help it. A smile grew at the corners of my mouth.

"What are you so happy about?" Bruce said, walking next to me.

"Oh, nothing. I'm just happy I'm with you." He smiled.

"And I you."

* * *

**Author's note: EEE SpiderPool! That is all.**


	9. Chapter 9: Intelligence Gathering

**Author's note: Thanks to Phoenix-164! Don't worry, there will be more Deadpool in the future! Possibly in the near future... yeah, he's basically my all-time favorite Marvel character. He's just so random! Like Pinkie Pie with more guns! Anyway, please read and review. This mission is going to be pretty long, so buckle up, kids!**

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We walked the streets of Moscow, trying to blend in. Natasha was walking to my right, hand in hand with Clint, and Pete was to my left. As Fury had promised, we were both pretty well disguised. I was wearing a long, blonde wig and a cheery yellow coat lined with fake white fur. My boots were pink, and lined with the same white fur. Ugh… I looked like a Starbursts commercial. Pete was wearing a black wig, and dark sunglasses. Even Natasha and Clint were in street clothes. Here I was, walking down the streets of Russia with the Avengers by my side. Well, two and a half Avengers, maybe. It still felt weird. I remember reading in the paper almost three years ago now about the whole mess with the Chitauri. It seemed like… like this amazing, exciting world that I could watch, and read about, but never quite touch. Never be a part of. And here I was, right smack dab in the middle of it all.

"It's been years since I've been to Russia!" Natasha said, looking like a happy camper.

"This is gonna be fun!" Clint said. "You can show me around, huh Tasha?" Natasha smiled and kissed Clint, still holding his hand as they walked. Pete made a gagging motion with his finger, and it took all the willpower in my arsenal not to burst out laughing and give him away.

"I saw that." Natasha said. Pete squeaked. She smirked. "You're just jealous."

"The hell I am. Have you seen the glorious hunk of man I've got waiting for me at home?"

"Right; Wade. How does something like that happen, anyway?" Clint said.

"Something like what?"

"You and him. How'd you get together?" Pete blushed.

"Oooh, I've gotta hear this." I said. "Spill. _Now_."

"We… we met on a My Little Pony fan-site."

"A what?" Clint asked.

"You heard me." Pete sighed. Then continued. "I found his avatar on the site. It was really unique; it looked just like his suit. We got into a few conversations over e-mail over the show. We discovered we both love Pinkie Pie for her randomness." Okay; I couldn't take much more of this or my ovaries were going to explode. "And, one day, we set up a meeting. A coffee shop not too far from my apartment. When he showed up dressed in his avatar's colors… it was a bit of a surprise. Of course, he told me he had thought I was a woman…"

"Wait, why'd he think that?"

"Um, my… my avatar's name was Sugarcookie." I couldn't help it; I glomped him.

"SO CUUUTE!" I squealed.

"I am not cute!" He protested. "I'm manly, dammit!"

"Keep dreaming, babyface." I said, stepping back. He sighed.

"Anyway, that's how we met. Um… Wendy?"

"What?"

"Your wig." He pointed to my wig, which was tilted messily to the side.

"Oh! Shit!" I said as I hastily adjusted it. I looked to the left, and then the right. Good; no one saw me. I exhaled in relief.

"Why did you insist on a disguise, anyway?" Natasha asked. "Fury said he knew about your "history" with Russia. What kind of history is that?" I sighed and pressed my fingers to the bridge of my nose. I felt a headache coming on.

"Look. I'll tell you when we get to the hotel." Surprisingly, they left the matter alone. Which was good; I wasn't looking forward to a spill-all. But the others only kept quiet until the door to our hotel room was shut.

"Well?" Clint asked.

"Well what?" I said as I flopped down on one of the giant, cushy couches.

"You said you'd tell us the story of what happened to you in Russia." I stood up and started checking around the room.

"What're you doing?" Pete asked.

"Checking for wires. Places like this like to hide 'em in funny places." Satisfied no one was listening in on us, I sat down on the bed.

"We're listening." Natasha said.

"You wanna hear the whole story? Fine, here goes. A coupla years ago, I was short on cash. The mercenary gig wasn't paying enough, so I started doing a little something extra on the side."

"Meaning?" Natasha asked.

"Meaning I had a brief, _very_ brief stint as a jewel thief." Basically everyone in the room raised their eyebrows.

"But what does that have to do with Russia?" Pete asked, sitting down on the couch across from me.

"I'm getting to that. See, I started out with small-time stuff. Jewelry stores, collections, small museums. But I started getting more ambitious. I discovered it was fun, seeing how fast I could slip in and out without anyone noticing. And I had saved up so much… one day I bought a plane ticket to Russia, and I tried to steal a Faberge egg." Natasha snickered and covered her mouth.

"What? You got something to say?" I said testily.

"Do you know how heavily guarded those things are?" She said, obviously amused.

"Well, obviously I do now. That was the only time I ever got caught." I thought of the collar. "Besides the obvious, I mean."

"Just out of curiosity, what exactly happened to get you caught?" She said, still smirking. I scratched the back of my head sheepishly.

"I… forgot to check for lasers." That was it. That was her breaking point; she burst out laughing.

"I was coming in through the _ceiling!" _I said, my face red with embarrassment. "I didn't think I'd have to deal with laser alarms!"

"Oh, you _always_ have to deal with lasers." Natasha said, trying to get her laughter under control. "You should have seen Clint the first time he tried to enter my bedroom!" I couldn't help it; I snickered.

Pete joined in;

"Tasha, I am going to rock your- HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THIS?" He said, mocking Clint's deep voice.

"It's not that funny." Clint said. Natasha put a hand on his shoulder.

"Yes, Clint. Yes it is." She said. She turned to me. "Are you going to finish the story?" She asked. Oh great; I was hoping they'd forgotten about that. "You told me once you broke _out _of one of Russia's toughest prisons." I smirked.

"Yeah. It took them a team of commandos and a helicopter, but they finally caught me and brought me to Vladimir Central." Natasha's smile disappeared, and she sat down.

"That place is one of the toughest prisons in Russia. You couldn't have done nothing but steal a fancy egg. You didn't even get away with it. Not to mention, it's a _men's_ prison."

"Let's just say, my work takes me to a lot of interesting places. I did some things I'm not proud of, and I guess they decided there weren't any women's prison's strong enough to hold me."

"How did you break out, anyway?" Pete asked. I thanked him silently for getting Natasha off my trail.

"A dozen spoons and one good friend. It took me a few months, but I did it."

"A good friend?" Natasha questioned.

"Yeah. Guy named Dolohov."

"Wait; Benedikt Dolohov?"

"Yeah. Big guy, real ripped. Bald head, lots of tattoos. He was gay, too. Only guy in there who never tried to… well, you know." Natasha smiled.

"I knew Dolohov."

"No kidding?"

"Yes. I used to work with him. He was a good man. He was in for high treason, right?"

"Yeah, that was it."

"He was falsely accused. Framed by-"

"By his lover, yeah. He told me the story."

"We've been trying to catch that bastard and get Dolohov out for years."

"Do me a favor." I said. She raised one eyebrow questioningly. "If you ever do catch him, save a punch for me." She smiled and nodded.

"So!" I said, jumping up off the bed. "What next? Do we storm the place, go in all sneaky-like, what?"

"Actually," Natasha said. "We have a couple of hours before we have to get started on the mission."

"What?" Pete, Clint and I said in unison.

"Rule number one; a good spy works under cover of night. So if we want, we can tour around for, say, eight hours."

"Yes!" Pete pumped his fist in the air. "I'm gonna get me some of that Russian chocolate everyone's always talking about!"

"Wrong country, Pete." Clint said. "I think you mean Belgian chocolate."

"Well excuse me if geography isn't my thing."

"If you want to try Russian cuisine, you could go for borscht." Natasha said.

"Okay, cool. What's that?"

"It's a kind of soup made with beetroot."

"Well, where do I find it?"

"Oh, that won't be a problem. Just walk into the first restaurant you see and order borscht. Trust me, they'll have it."

"Thanks! See yah!" He said. And out the door he went.

"Come on, Clint!" Natasha said, wrapping her arm around Clint's. "I can show you around the homeland!"

"Oooh, say it in Russian!" He said.

"Пойдем, я покажу тебе!"

"God, that's sexy!" Natasha smiled.

"Let's go!" They started out the door. "Trescott, what'll you be doing?" Natasha asked over her shoulder.

"I don't know how much I want the local authorities knowing I'm back in Russia. I'll just stick around here and enjoy the amenities."

"Alright." She said skeptically. "We'll be back in a few hours." They shut the door behind them, and I set about exploring our hotel room. It was a suite, with a living room, a bedroom, and bathroom with a _huge _tub. I felt around the interior and smiled; jets. The bedroom had two king-sized beds. Just two. And of course, Natasha and Clint would be sharing a bed, so that meant…

"Great." I muttered to myself. "I'm sleeping with Pete." Well, I thought, at least he's gay. Next I raided the mini-bar. S.H.I.E.L.D was paying for every expense, so I was free to eat whatever the hell I wanted. I spent the next half hour or so laying on one of the couches trying to catch jelly beans with my mouth. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore; I was bored out of my _mind_. "Screw this." I said aloud. I stood up, grabbed my coat and my wig, and left. "Excuse me?" I addressed one of the staff.

"Yes?" He spoke in English with a heavy, heavy Russian accent.

"Do you know where I could find a good bar?"

"Down the street, there is one. The Maiden's Bosom." I snorted.

"Nice name for a bar." The guy smiled.

"It sounds friendly, doesn't it?"

"Спасибо!" I said. Thank you, in Russian. He waved me off as I headed out the door. He was right; just down the street was a quaint little pub with a sign hanging off the front. The sign said "Maiden's Bosom" In Russian, and the logo was, well, a maiden. With a rather impressive bosom. I chuckled to myself as I stepped inside. It was a small, dark place with a definite musk to it. Burly old guys sat at the tables and the bar, which was tended by a well-endowed middle-aged woman with dark hair. I stuck out like a sore thumb in my starburst outfit. Why couldn't the disguise expert have chosen something more intimidating? Now, if I had strolled in clad in leather and chains… but now wasn't the time to worry about that. I plopped down at the bar, and the barkeep turned toward me.

"What'll you have?" She said in Russian.

"Hmm… what the hell." I spoke back in Russian. "I'm in Russia, right? Gimme a vodka."

"You speak the language well." She said as she poured a glass. I held up a hand to stop her and she looked up, confused. I pointed to the bottle and she smiled, handing it to me. She took the vodka she'd already poured and drank it herself. "This goes on your bill too, sweetheart." She said. I laughed, and took a swig. "Are you sure you can handle that?" She asked, obviously amused. I smirked.

"I'm a big girl, don't worry. It takes a hell of a lot of booze to get me drunk." She smiled, and clinked her glass against the bottle. We both drank.

"You're not from around here. Is this your first time in Russia?" I hesitated.

"No, I've been here once before."

"How do you find her?"

"Cold." She laughed.

"Isn't that the truth?" She put down her empty glass. "You wait until the summer. You could fry an egg on the sidewalk."

"Heh. Did that once, back where I grew up."

"And where's that?" I took a swig.

"The states." I said as I lowered the bottle. She nodded.

"What brings you here?"

"You know, seeing the sights. I brought a couple of friends with me."

"Where are they now?"

"Two are off making eyes at each other and one's stumbling around trying to find borscht." She laughed.

"People come to Russia, the first thing they want is to try the borscht. If you want an adventure, why not try the salo, or the cow's tongue? You could get borscht in America if you tried."

"Aw, take it easy on the guy. The most adventurous thing he's eaten in the past year is pistachio ice cream." She laughed again, a loud, barking laugh. I smiled, thinking. Maybe it was time to try some intelligence gathering?

"Have you heard of a woman called Charlotte Vanderburg?" She looked confused.

"No, I haven't." I tried again.

"Black hair, black eyes, almost looks like a vampire?" I thought a second. "Everyone she knows seems to be enamored with her?" I added. It was a shot in the dark, but with the whole mind control thing…

"Ah! You're talking about Alisa Mihaylov." I raised my eyebrow. "Of course I know Mihaylov." She said. "She owns half the town!" Now _this_ was interesting.

"How's that?" I asked.

"She came to Moscow just three months ago, and she's been using her fortune, god knows how she got it, to buy every establishment in the city. So far she has about half the city under her control. The Maiden's Bosom is one of the last small businesses standing. I have gotten many requests from her to sell. But this place has been in my family for generations, and it will be for generations to come!" She said it proudly, the way only a woman of Russia could. I put down my bottle, now empty, and wiped my mouth with the back of my sleeve. Out of the corner of my eye I caught some of the men watching me.

"What?" I said sarcastically. "Is there something on my face?"

"You're tougher than you look, huh?" One of the guys said, standing up. "Never thought a waif like you could down all that and still be standing." I grinned.

"I'm from Texas. I was practically weaned on whiskey."

"I'd step away from that one, young miss." One of the men at the bar piped up. "No matter how tough you think you are, you can't hold it like Vladim can."

"Is that a challenge?" I said.

"Can you take it?" Vladim replied.

"Barkeep?"

"The loser pays the tab for the whole bar." She said. "Pick your poison."

"Vodka." Vladim and I said in unison. He grinned.

"By the way." I said as we sat down. The barkeep plopped down two bottles of vodka. "That first bottle? Doesn't count."

"First one to drop or wave a white flag loses." The barkeep said. By now we had everyone in the bar staring at us. "Ready? Go." We both lifted our bottles and drank.

I stumbled into the hotel room late that night. My coat hung sloppily off one shoulder, and it fell off completely as I flopped heavily down onto one of the beds.

"Wendy?" I heard Pete's voice as he walked into the room. "Wendy, where have you been?" I opened my eyes. Everyone was staring at me.

"Out." I said. Natasha leaned in and sniffed. "What the hell?" I exclaimed.

"Why do you reek of ale?" She said accusingly. I smiled.

""Cause they ran outta vodka." Pete looked concerned. Natasha looked annoyed. Clint looked like he was about to burst out laughing.

"Let's get you to bed." Natasha said. "Where'd you put your PJs?"

"Oh, hell no! Ah'm not lettin' you dress me!" I said, throwing caution to the wind and letting my accent out. Not that I was sober enough to keep it under control if I wanted to.

"I guess we're going on the mission tomorrow, huh?" I heard Pete say as he and Clint edged cautiously out of the room.

"Get over here." Natasha said as she leaned over the bed, pulling off my shirt.

"So, are we finally doing this or what?" I said drunkenly. She looked at me, uncomprehending. I smirked and grabbed her collar, pulling her into a kiss. When I finally let her go, in hindsight she probably should have slapped me. I mean, I deserved it, didn't I? But instead, she just stood there for a moment, and then got up and walked out the door.

"Fine." She said as she left. "If you want to sleep in that, go ahead." I just buried my head under the covers. I slept through the whole night. I didn't even notice when Pete crawled into bed with me. Of course, when I woke up I had a massive hangover. But it was worth it; 'cause, one little thing I forgot to mention;

I won.


	10. Chapter 10: Insert Spy Music Here

A day later, Natasha, Pete Clint and I were sitting in the bushes outside Charlotte's mansion. It was a huge estate on the outskirts of the city, the size of which rivaled the white house. We had missed the first night, for obvious reasons. Fury had had a bone to pick with me over the phone, and Natasha still seemed...  
wary. I wished I could apologize for the other night. But somehow I felt like if I brought it up, it would only make things worse. For now, though, we were all focused on the mission. I was wearing my battle outfit, and Clint and Natasha were both in their combat suits. Pete was still just wearing his disguise.

"Alright. What's the gameplan?" Pete asked.

"I'm glad you asked." Natasha said. "You're going in first."

"I'm what?"

"Going in first. I need you to climb up that wall," She said, pointing. "And in through that window. From there you'll scout out the room for alarms, traps, guards and anything else that could get us caught. Once you're sure we're safe, you'll give us the go ahead to follow." He nodded and jumped out from behind the bushes, keeping his head low as he sprinted across the yard. We waited tentatively as we watched him climb up the wall and into the window. Five seconds passed. Then ten more. Then we saw him pop his head out the window.

"Is that the go ahead?" I asked. Natasha didn't get the chance to answer; Pete shot a line of web our way, sticking it to a nearby tree.

"I think _that's_ the go ahead." Clint said. We each took ahold of the line in turn, and crawled across it to the window.

"Hey, it worked!" Pete said delightedly as we came one by one through the window.

"Shhh." Natasha shushed him. "We don't want to alert the guards." Pete made a motion to lock his lips with his fingers. He then threw away the key, and smiled cheekily. "Cute." Natasha said dryly. The window we had come through led to a study. It was a grand room full of bookshelves, maps, and big cushy chairs. An official-looking desk sat in the middle of the room with a computer sitting on top of it.

"Alright, where next?" Clint asked. Natasha held up a finger as footsteps rang past the door.

"He's gone." She said when the footsteps were far enough away. "To answer your question, next we have to find the information we need."

"How about that?" I said, pointing to the computer.

"The information we're looking for could put Charlotte in federal prison. Or worse. Do you think she'd have it just sitting here in plain view, where anyone could access it?"

"Screw you." I said. She ignored me.

"Well, where would it be then?" Clint asked.

"Well, luckily enough, Fury got his hands on the specs for the house. The unofficial specs."

"Ooh, secret rooms!" Pete said excitedly. "Where are the prints?" Natasha tapped the side of her head and smiled.

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me." I said. "We're supposed to be doing all this based on what you may or may not remember from a bunch of specs you had, at the most, two days to study?"

"That's right." She said simply. "Now; we can't stay in here too long. Follow my lead." She opened the door just a crack and peeked out. It must have been clear, because she waved us in. We were in a grand foyer now. We kept to the shadows and edged across the walls, dodging security guards and wait staff. The place was full of corridors and hallways, all lined with doors. Natasha ignored them all; until we came to the kitchen. I tried to step forward, but Natasha stopped me.

"What?" I said, irritated. She pulled out a spray bottle from a pocket hidden in her suit, and sprayed the air in front of her in a move straight out of a James Bond movie. The vapor revealed a fence of crisscrossing lasers just in front of the door.

"You always have to deal with lasers." She said smugly. I scowled.

"Leave this one to me." Pete said. He climbed up to the ceiling, then shot a web down around my waist and carried me safely over the lasers to the middle of the room. He helped Clint next, then went back over to help Natasha. Before he could do a thing, however, she took a step back and cartwheeled forward, maneuvering nimbly through the laser alarms like Lara Croft.

"Showoff." Pete said.

"This place is huge!" I whispered. It was; it looked like you could've run a restaurant from the place.

"Charlotte likes to host parties here. Gather potential investors. From what we gathered, she's trying to gain control of Moscow under the name-" I cut her off.

"Alisa Mihaylov."

"That's right." She said, turning toward me. "How did you know?"

"You wanna know what's going on with a city? First place you go's the local pub."

"I'll bet you must have all sorts of information bouncing around in that head of yours, then."

"Watch it, sweetheart." We were starting to get louder. Clint stepped in.

"The mission?" He reminded us.

"Yeah. The mission." I said. "Why are we in the kitchen anyway?"

"Remember? I said I had the specs memorized." Natasha said. She walked up to one of the two huge refrigerators and pulled it away from the wall. Underneath was a metal hatch in the floor. I walked up to get a better look; there was a fingerprint scanner on the hatch.

"Ooh, tough luck." I said. She said nothing. Just started digging around in her belt and pulled out a brush, some powder, and what looked like scotch tape. We all watched as she powdered the lock, stuck some tape over it, and pressed her thumb to the screen. The lock beeped affirmatively, and the hatch hissed open. "Show off." I muttered. One by one, we all filed down the hatch, down a short ladder, and into a system of clean, steel hallways. Pete started forward, but Natasha shot her hand out and stopped him, pulling him behind a corner. He had narrowly missed bumping into a woman who walked by us and down the corridor.

"Oh, great." Pete whispered. "There are still people here working? It's midnight!"

"We'll just have to be extra stealthy." Clint said. He started out. Natasha threw her arm out again. "What this time?" Clint protested. Natasha raised an eyebrow at him. Then started out herself. She motion for us to follow. Same routine as before; keep to the edges and the shadows, avoid people; easy. Pete kept to the ceiling, and Natasha, Clint and I took advantage of the many nooks, crannies and empty rooms the place was built with.

"This place is so epic!" I whispered to Pete as we tip-toed down the corridor. "Like a secret lair!"

"It _is_ a secret lair." Natasha whispered back.

"No, I mean it's like straight out of a comic book!"

"We're here."

"What?" I asked.

'We're here." She repeated. We had stopped at a door with a glass window in the middle. Looking through, it was a room not unlike Fury's office; full of desks, computers, and people working on them.

"Well, how the hell are we supposed to get in there?" I asked. That's when we heard an alarm go off. We turned to see Pete standing next to a fire alarm. He shrugged.

"When in doubt, go with the classics, right?" He said. Natasha hid in a corner. Clint followed. Pete shot a web up to the ceiling and zipped himself up there, carrying me with him.

"Thanks." I whispered.

"No problem." He whispered back. Soon it came; the tsunami of worker bees flooding through the corridors and out the building. In a matter of seconds, we had the place to ourselves. We all came out of hiding, and filed through the door.

"Computers!" I said, delighted. "Computers, I can work with!" I cracked my knuckles, sat down, and got to work searching for important files. "Aw, it's encrypted!" I said. "How cute." I set about destroying Charlotte's code while the others searched around the room.

"This guy's got kids." Pete said, examining the pictures on one of the desks. "What's he doing here?" Natasha was looking at a massive map of the world on one of the walls. It was decorated with differently colored pushpins.

"I think I know what this is." She said. "She's mapping her conquests. If we just knew what the different colors stood for…"

"What color is Moscow?" I said, not looking up from the computer.

"Yellow." She answered.

"Then yellow must be what she's still working on." Natasha was silent. "What is it?" I asked, turning. That's when I saw; the pushpins were in only two colors, yellow and red. If yellow stood for works in progress, than red must be what she had already finished.

"She has more than fifty percent of the world under her control." Natasha muttered. There were red pushpins everywhere. Delhi, Paris, Stockholm, Austin. She was going city by city. I turned back to the computer; one more press of a key and I was done.

"Let's see what you're hiding." I said, looking through the file. "Oh great. It's in Russian."

"Aw, do you need help?" Natasha said. I got up out of the chair as she sat down.

"Я говорю на русском просто отлично, спасибо." I said. She turned to me, arching one eyebrow. "I just can't read it." I said in English. She turned back to the computer.

"What is it?" Pete said, leaning over her shoulder.

"Yeah, what?" I said, leaning over her _other _shoulder.

"Her plan." She said. "It's simple, really. She's using her power to make money. She's using her money to buy the world. City by city. She has a different name everywhere she goes. And once she has enough cities under her control, enough people under her spell, she'll go after world leaders. She has everything planned out. I doubt she's even in Moscow, this is just one of her outposts."

"Um, guys?" we heard Clint from the corner.

"What is it, Clint?" Natasha said, a bit annoyed.

"You might want to see this." She stood up and walked over to him, sitting at another computer.

"How did you break the code?" I asked.

"It wasn't encoded. It was just sitting there in plain English. Look." I leaned in to look where he was pointing. The title of the file; Wendy Trescott.

* * *

**Author's note: Bum bum _BUM!_**


	11. Chapter 11: My Knight in Spandex Armor

**Author's note: I told you there'd be more Deadpool! Read and review, please!**

* * *

"Um… Wendy? Why does she have an entire file on you?" Pete asked.

"Move over." I said, shoving Clint out of the seat. It was all here. And I mean _all_. Medical records, criminal records, pictures from my _kindergarten graduation_. Even the records from my brief time with S.H.I.E.L.D.

"So… she's a stalker?" Natasha said. I nodded, biting my lip.

"Yeah, but why me?" I said as I scrolled down through the file, watching my life literally pass me by. "I'd never even heard of the woman until a month ago."

"The way the stalker mentality works, you don't have to know someone for long." Natasha said. "You probably had some sort of exchange with her, something that meant nothing to you but meant the world to her."

"But I'd remember! A face like hers is hard to forget!"

"She actually kind of looks like you, doesn't she?" Pete remarked. We all turned to look at him. We were interrupted, however, by a voice from the back of the room.

"Hey! You aren't supposed to be here!" It was a low, female voice. She spoke in Russian. We turned to see one of Charlotte's goons standing in front of the door. "And I'm guessing there's no fire either." She held a walkie-talkie up to her mouth. "I need backup in the main office."

"This will be easy." Natasha said. She stood up.

"Just one minute." I said, holding her back. I smirked. "I got this." She stepped back.

"I'll give you this one. But only because I'm curious to see what you can do." I swaggered up to the woman, cracking my knuckles. "Just try not to kill her, alright? I think Fury would prefer if you didn't bloody your hands."

"Aw, you're taking all the fun out of it." I looked the woman in the eye. "Go on, come at me. I can tell my boss it was self-defense." I said it in Russian, mainly because I didn't want her to miss my awesome quip. She didn't disappoint; she ran at me, swinging her fist wildly in the general direction of my face. Obviously not a combat specialist. "Is that all you got?" I said, straining the last word as I grabbed her wrist and flipped her hard onto the ground. She grunted, shifting under my grip, then rolled out from under me with pure brute strength. "Ho!" I exclaimed. The woman stood up quickly, holding her fists up in a fighting stance. She ran at me again and started throwing punches, all aimed right at my head. I dodged every one. "I gotta say, what you lack in technique you make up for in determination." I said.

"Stop messing with me!" She shouted angrily as she pulled back her right arm, hand clenched into a fist, and prepared to break my nose. Pity, too; I had been hoping for a challenge. I side-stepped quickly to the right, (my right, to be clear) and she stumbled forward, losing her balance. I took the opportunity to raise my left leg and kick her in the face. Hard. She fell to the ground in a slump, obviously out cold.

"Come on, let's clear out!" I said, motioning the others toward the exit. "There'll only be more of Charlotte's flunkies to deal with from here on out, so we'd better get moving." Clint lagged behind, shoving a USB stick into the first computer.

"Come on, come on!" He said impatiently as he waited for the file to download.

"Clint, let's go!" Natasha yelled.

"Give me just one second!" He said. "Got it!" He pulled the stick out of the computer and rushed after us. "I got the file!" He said triumphantly.

"Let's go!" Natasha said, motioning him out the door. And we all rushed out the door through the corridors.

"That was awesome!" Pete said as we ran. "What were you saying in Russian, anyway?" Natasha piped up.

"Basically, she was acting like you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Pete said indignantly.

"Nothing, Pete. Focus on escaping." We sprinted toward the hatch, clamored up the ladder, and ran out into the halls. By now a loud siren was sounding, alerting the guards to the intruders; us.

"Where are all the guards?" Clint said as we ran. "They should be here by now, that woman called for backup ages ago!" His question was answered when we entered the foyer. We all skidded to a stop at the sight of thirty or so men and women holding rather impressive guns; all trained on us.

"Remember the whole 'don't kill anyone' thing?" Natasha said. "I think you can forget that for now." The guards opened fire onto us, and we all sprang into combat mode. Natasha and I jumped into the air, weaving and dodging through the bullets. Pete shot to the ceiling, bringing Clint with him.

"What the?" I heard Clint shout.

"You're a sniper, right? Here's your vantage point." He set Clint down on a ledge created by the molding in the ceiling.

"Thanks."

"No problem. You can make it up to me with that bow of yours." We were working as a team. Natasha and I sprang around the guards, snapping necks and breaking backs too fast to be caught. Pete stuck to the ceiling, webbing the guards to the floor and walls. And Clint? What do you think he was doing? He sat up in the molding shooting guards left and right, with marksmanship that could wing a fruit-fly from a mile away. I smiled as I hopped behind one of the men and used my elbow to break his back. We were in sync! As he toppled to the ground, I looked up to see a gun trained on me from across the room. I had one second to panic before the guy holding it fell to the ground with an arrow in his neck. I craned my neck to see Clint smiling down at me, bow in hand.

"Thanks!" I shouted.

"S.H.I.E.L.D agents look out for their own." He replied. "I would get moving, if I were you." I looked down to see three more firearms with my name on them. I ran quickly out of the way, ducking and weaving. Soon there was no-one left. Pete lowered himself and Clint down from the ceiling, and Natasha and I gathered in the center. The alarm was still sounding.

"What do you think the chances are of them being the only guards we'll have to deal with?" Pete asked, knowing the answer.

"Slim to none." Clint said. "Which is why we should get moving; _now_." We all rushed out the door after him. I gotta admit, I really didn't want to be taking orders from Clint. But it was, to tell the truth, a solid idea. And the guy _did_ just save my life. So I followed without a word. By the time we had run across Charlotte's massive front lawn and reached the street below, it felt like we were home free. How wrong can a girl be?

"Put your hands up!" A voice boomed in Russian from the sky. Suddenly we were surrounded; at least a hundred commando officers, and three helicopters, all with searchlights trained on us. Or, rather, on me.

"Huh." I said. "Two more helicopters than last time."

"Wendy Agatha Trescott, we have you surrounded! Raise your hands in surrender or we will be forced to take action!" That was it. Everything had been going so perfectly, and now this! My hands began to shake. I gritted my teeth in a hard scowl and my mind started to go. Natasha noticed immediately.

"Wendy, get yourself under control." She said, concerned. No. I thought. This is not the time, Wendy. Keep yourself together! I probably would have blacked out and killed everyone in sight. Or, more likely, gotten myself killed. But I was interrupted by the sudden sensation of having the wind knocked out of me by someone's arm. I had been slung over an unfamiliar shoulder, and the owner of said shoulder was carrying me fast away from the helicopters and commandos.

"The hell is this?" I shouted, ready to bite and scratch until my kidnapper put me down. That's when I saw; he was wearing a black and red suit. A belt with all sorts of gadgets tucked into it. And from the position I was in, I had a perfect view of the two katanas slung across his back. "Deadpool?!" I exclaimed.

"That's me!" He said happily. "The merc with a mouth, the guy who won't die, the world's first Olympic-class d-bag! But you can call me Wade." I nearly fainted. Deadpool- I mean, Wade was rescuing me? (Not to mention I had a _perfect _view of his ass.) This was like Christmas and my birthday and open hunting season all rolled up into one! But something occurred to me;

"Not to seem rude, but what about the others?" I asked. My words came out a bit jostled, mainly because of the rocky terrain, but also because he seemed to be skipping.

"I wouldn't worry about them." He said. I looked up to see Pete, Clint and Natasha running fast after us, in that order. The helicopters were coming after us too.

"Wade, what the hell are you doing?" Pete asked angrily as he caught up to us.

"I'm being rescued!" I said happily. "By Deadpool!"

"Yeah, I can see that. Wade, I thought you were supposed to be in Texas? What are you doing in Russia?"

"Apparently I'm _saving_ your sorry ass!" Wade said. He looked happy about it, too. "Eli and I got done early. The whole rustlers thing was fun, but waaaay too easy. So I left early, figured I'd see what you were up to. I did get to bring home some leather chaps, though."

"I hope you know Texas isn't _all _ten gallon hats and cowboy boots." I said.

"Yeah, but that's the fun part, innit?" I couldn't argue with the man. Natasha caught up to us next.

"Not to ruin the moment, but we've still got three choppers after us." She said.

"Oh, that'll be easy. Clint, remember my trick arrows?"

"Oh no. Not those again." Wade smiled. At least I think he was smiling. It's hard to tell under the mask. He stopped abruptly, nearly throwing me off his shoulder. He reached into an arrow-sling he had hanging off his belt.

"Where's your-" I started. I was cut off when he reached into one of his many pockets and pulled out a telescoping bow, which immediately snapped out to full size. "Bow." I finished. The arrow he pulled out was… unique, to say the least. The fletching and the shaft were perfectly regulation, (yeah, I had Clint teach me some archery lingo.) But the tip… it was huge; spherical. He shot it into the air at one of the helicopters. Then another. Then another. "What's the trick, anyway?" I asked. I saw Clint smack his palm to his face. Not a question he wanted to hear the answer to, I'm guessing.

"The trick," Wade started. That's when I heard a faint beeping coming from the arrows, and all three helicopters exploded into a fiery mass of pure doom, raining fire down on the commandos.

"Retreat! Retreat!" They all shouted, running back to the street and leaving us alone. Wade continued.

"The trick is that they all explode!" He broke out into a burst of maniacal, almost childlike laughter. I couldn't help it; I joined him.

"Madmen." I heard Pete say. "I'm surrounded by madmen!"

"That was _awesome!_" I shouted.

"Whoa!" Wade said. "Not so close to the ear!"

"Oh, sorry."

"Um, Wade?" Pete said.

"Yeah?"

"I think you can put her down now."

"Oh, yeah."

"Aww." I sighed in disappointment as Wade lowered me to the ground.

"We just blew up three government aircrafts." Pete said. "We'll never hear the end of this."

"Wrong!" Wade said, holding up a finger pointedly. "_I _blew up three government aircrafts! And it's not like I asked you for permission first, so you can just tell Fury you had nothing to do with it!"

"That…" Natasha said. "That's genius." Wade grinned so wide I could see it even under the fabric.

"I have my moments! Now then, follow me down the yellow brick road!"

"Who are you, the good witch?" Pete asked as we walked.

"Hell, no! I'm Dorothy!"

"O-kay…" Pete said skeptically.

"Yup. I'm Dorothy, you're the scarecrow, the spy here is the lion, and bow-slinger's the tin man."

"Wait… does that make me Toto?" I said.

"Naw, naw. You're the Mad Hatter!"

"Wrong book, Wade." Pete said. Wade turned to me.

"Do you wanna be Toto?"

"No, I'll take the Mad Hatter, thank you."

"Where are we going, anyway?" Clint piped up. We all turned to him. That was actually a pretty good question. Wade put his hand to his chin as if he was thinking.

"Where are we going?" He said. "Well, I dunno… which way is your hotel?"

"We can't go back to the hotel, genius!" Pete said. "We're wanted across the country!"

"How did you even get here, anyway?" Natasha asked.

"I flew in."

"You what?" Pete asked.

"Yeah. Eli gave me a lift in his chopper." Now it was my turn to be surprised.

"His what?!" I exclaimed.

"You didn't know? Your dad's got himself a copter. Pretty decent one, too."

"But where did he get it?"

"How long's it been since you've seen your dad?" Wade asked. I hesitated.

"About ten years."

"Bounty hunter makes a lot of money in that kind of time. You should see the place; probably doesn't look anything like it did when you were growing up there."

"Wait, he's still living in the old house?"

"Is anyone going to address the fact that we're being led by a psychotic mercenary who has no idea where he's going?" Clint said. Wade turned to face him. "Do you even have a plan?" Clint continued. Wade walked right up to him until their chests were nearly touching. He looked him right in the eye. And said;

"No, no I don't."

"Oh, that's just great." Pete said, throwing up his hands.

"I'm taking matters into my own hands." Natasha said. She put a finger to the communication device in her ear. "Fury?" We all waited as she made the call. "We're ready to be picked up." A pause. "Alright." She lowered her finger. "He'll be picking us up in a field near here. Let's get moving." We started walking again. I made sure my pace was kept even so that I'd be right next to Wade the whole time.

"Um…" He said, breaking me out of my daze. "Is there a reason why you're staring at me?"

"Oh, nothing. You're just my hero, is all. It is just so amazing to finally meet you in the flesh!"

He grinned. "Yeah, I'm pretty kickass."

"Can I try something?" I asked.

"Shoot." I reached up, wrapped my arms around his head, and twisted it clean off. "Wh-hoa!" He said. I lifted his head up and studied it as his body stumbled around in the brush, trying to keep pace.

"That's disgusting." Clint said. Natasha averted her eyes. Pete just sighed.

"Put it back when you're done, would you?" He said.

"I gotta say," Wade said. "This hasn't happened to me in a while. Ow!" His body had just whacked into a tree.

"You are awesome." I said.

"You don't need to tell me! Ooh… nice view." I blushed as I realized he was in the perfect position to look down my shirt.

"Wade, have some class." Pete said.

"Have you met me?" Pete just sighed. Again. "Hey, would you mind giving me back to my body? It kinda needs me to see."

"Fine." I said, disappointed that I would have to put him down. I tapped his body's shoulder and it whirled around, nearly hitting me in the face.

"Whoa!" Wade said. "Careful, we like her!" I smiled. He liked me!

"There you go." I put Wade's head back into his body's hands, and he jammed it back onto his neck. He twisted it left, then right, until it made a satisfying "pop".

"Hey!" He said, massaging his neck. "You got a crick outta my neck!"

"Anytime!" I was smiling like an idiot.

"Can we keep walking?" Natasha said. I looked up to see the others were far ahead of us. Soon we got to the field, where a helicopter was waiting to fly us up to the helicarrier. We all filed in, Wade included.

"Hey, Coulson!" I said. Phil was sitting behind the controls.

"Wendy!" He said, happy to see me. "You've gotten yourself into quite a bit of trouble." He looked back to see Wade. "Er… is he coming?"

"Sup." Wade said. Phil turned, confused, and started up the chopper.

Fury was… well, I'm not quite sure what exactly he was. I'd say equal parts livid, confused, and impressed. He was pacing back and forth around the office.

"In our defense, we did get the information." I said. Fury raised his finger as if in protest, and opened his mouth to say something, then closed his mouth and lowered the finger. He started pacing again.

"I don't know where to start." He finally said.

"How about with the fact that we got what we were looking for?" I said. "Clint?" Clint produced the USB stick and handed it to Fury, who took it pointedly.

"You got what you were looking for, yes, but an entire day off schedule." Fury said. "Thanks to your alcoholism." He looked at me.

"I am not an alcoholic! I don't exactly get in vodka drinking contests every day. And besides, what difference does one day matter?" That's when Fury pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to me. "A Russian police report?" I said. "What does this have to do with…?" I trailed off when I saw my name.

Wanted criminal Wendy A. Trescott was seen at a local bar, the Maiden's Bosom. Onlookers report Trescott to have been wearing a blonde wig until she became intoxicated and removed said wig. A team was sent to intercept Trescott, and failed. Five killed, one severely injured.

"Okay. Okay, I see your point." Fury looked at me pointedly. "But, to be fair, we didn't kill those commando guys."

"That's right." Fury said. "That was Wade over there." We followed his gaze to Wade, who was crouched in an office chair in front of one of the computers. We heard an electric beeping, and he pumped his fist in the air.

"Hey!" One of the agents said from the corner. "You beat my high score!" I snickered, but stopped when Fury looked my way. Even with just one eye, he can still glare daggers with the best of 'em.

"Well, what're you going to do about it, then?" I asked. "Send me to my room?"

"You're off the mission." He said simply. That was one thing I wasn't prepared for.

"You've got to be joking." He shook his head. "You need me on this mission!"

"Granted, your specific skill set could be useful. But you need discipline, Trescott. For now let's go back to the way things used to be. You'll forget all about the mission and go about your daily life."

"Excuse me? So, what, are you going to brainwash me?" Fury chuckled.

"No, we're just going to ask that you don't bother us about the mission."

"This isn't funny."

"No, no it isn't. Please leave now, Trescott. I have to discuss this with the agents who are still on the team." I scowled and clenched my fists, the collar buzzing around my neck.

"Fine. You know what? Fine! Good luck without me!" As I stormed out of the room, Wade stood up to follow me.

"Ooh! I love a good storm-out! Wait for me!" He left behind me in a mock-huff. "Well, this bites." He said when the door was closed behind us.

"You're telling me. I guess I'm back to doing chores for privileges."

"Well, where to now?"

"Fury probably wants me back in my room." I looked up to see him staring at me expectantly. "What?" I asked.

"I'm booooooooooored!" He whined. "What do you do for fun up here?"

"Well, I listen to my CDs." By the looks of him that wasn't the answer he wanted. "There's a training room in the lower decks full of mechanical dummies. Go nuts."

"Yippee!" He squealed as he ran off in the direction I was pointing. I probably should have gone back to my room, but whether it was defiance, curiosity, or just plain stupidity, something made me decide to stay. So I folded my arms and leaned against the wall outside the office. The office is soundproofed, so it's not like I could hear anything, but I stayed until they came filing out. First was Pete, who passed me with an awkward, "Hey, I'm sorry." Then Clint came out, his eyes on the ground in front of him. He didn't even look at me; figures. Then Natasha stepped through the doors. She looked stressed, I can't imagine why. She got a few feet away from me, then turned, looked at me and said;

"We didn't tell Fury." I raised one eyebrow.

"Didn't tell him what?"

"About the file. The one full of pictures and information of you. Clint, Pete and I, we all kept our mouths shut."

"Thanks." I said. "That… means a lot."

"Don't tell me you haven't made the connection yet."

"What do you mean?" She turned to leave.

"I think you need to have a chat with your father." She said over her shoulder. I watched her until she turned out of view. Then I took a deep breath. And went to find Phil.


	12. Chapter 12: Show Me the Way to Go Home

**Author's Note: Okay, judging by the reception of the last chapter, you guys (or at least one rather perceptive reader) know what's coming. I just _really_ hope I don't mess up the big reveal! Read and review, pretty please! **

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"Trescott?" Phil said as I walked up to him in the mess hall. He was sitting alone today; again.

"Hey!" I sat down next to him and plunked my tray down. It was chili day today, and Gladys, the lunch lady, always snuck a bit of extra cayenne into my bowl.

"Is there a reason why you're sitting next to me?" He asked.

"Why so suspicious? You're my buddy! A girl can sit with her buddies, right?"

"Well, gee, don't you think your boyfriend will be lonely?" He gestured with his head to Bruce, who was sitting with Natasha and Clint, the only other Avengers who actually live on the helicarrier. He turned to look at me and smiled, motioning me over to their table. I held up a finger to signal that I just needed one moment. He nodded and turned back. "What do you want?" Phil asked. I sighed.

"I need to get to Texas."

"That's a pretty hefty request."

"Yeah. I know."

"Why don't you ask Fury about this? You know he's the one in charge of transportations around here."

"I would, but we're not exactly on the best of terms at the moment."

"Yeah, I heard. Sorry, about that, by the way."

"Yeah. Thanks." He didn't mean it, but his pity wasn't exactly the most comforting thing in the world. "Please Phil? You're my only friend on this flying piece of junk besides Bruce. Can you put in a good word?" He sighed.

"Alright, alright." I grinned, and threw my arms around him, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you! You won't regret this, I promise!" I stood up to go sit with Bruce.

"Wendy?" Phil said after me. Huh… he'd never called me Wendy before. Only Trescott.

"Yeah?" I said, turning.

"You've got more friends on the helicarrier than you think. Just remember that, alright?" I smiled and nodded as I walked away to join Bruce at the table. Phil always had been into that happy, lovey friendship stuff. I sat down with my lunch.

"Hey!" Bruce said. "You decided to join us!" I nodded. He kissed me, and pulled back in shock.

"H-hot!" He stuttered.

"Awww, am I really that stunning?" I said, grinning. Then I realized. "Oh, I'm sorry! You know I like my chili extra spicy!"

"It's okay." He grinned sheepishly, taking a swig of water. "What were you doing with Coulson, anyway?"

"Just asking a favor."

Two hours later, there I was, sitting in a helicopter headed for Texas. The blades whirred as they started up and took off, and I saw Phil waving me off through the window. Out of the corner of my eye, there was another figure; Fury was leaned against a wall, watching me leave. Damn, that guy could be creepy.

I was dropped off just outside my dad's house, a little cabin so far out in the middle of nowhere it looked like the Navajo.

"Do you know when you'll be back?" The pilot asked as I jumped out.

"Um, I dunno, I could be a while." I said in all honesty. He nodded.

"Just use the comm when you need a lift back." I nodded back, and started on my way to the house. I was bracing myself for the change, the inevitable total makeover that came with the money my dad must've made since I left, but the place still looked as old and beat up as ever. It was a ratty old one-story house, with a loose screen door and two boarded-up windows. Nothing had changed. Except for the helicopter sitting on a pad outside the house, that is. I was about to knock on the door when I noticed dad had bought a doorbell since the last time I was here. I pressed the button, and heard the ringing inside. Then some shuffling. And the door opened.

"Wendy?" He questioned, a smile spreading across his face.

"Dad?" I was as confused as he was. The house hadn't changed… but he sure had. His hair was almost all gray, and cut short above his ears. He had grown a beard, too, big and bushy, and there was a new scar; a long, vertical stripe over his left eye, which was as blue as ever. He was wearing jeans, a t-shirt and a leather jacket. And where was the beer belly? The dad I knew looked like he ate a diet of donuts and Pepsi. The man I saw now… he was fit. Hell, he was ripped!

"Well, what brings you here?" He was smiling ear-to-ear now, talking with a Texan accent even stronger than mine. "Come on in, come on in!" He motioned me inside. The interior of the house, at least, hadn't changed. Even the furniture was the same. And the smell… warm and musty. In a good way. "Well, sit your arse down!" I obeyed, sitting down in an old floral-print arm chair. He sat down in the chair across from me.

"It's been a long time." I said.

"Well, that it has." An awkward silence. "Is there a reason why you're here?" I opened my mouth to talk, but he interrupted me. "Come on now, ah know yer not here just to visit yer ol' pa." I smiled. He always could read me like a book.

"Yeah, there's a reason." I said, slowly letting my accent leak back into my voice. "But let's not talk about that right now, alright? We've got some catchin' up to do." He smiled again.

"You sit there. I'll get ya some sweet tea." He stood up and headed toward the kitchen. While he was in there, I couldn't help it; there was something I was absolutely curious about. I stood up and walked around the corner to the door that I knew held the den. That was where the gun cabinet was. I opened the door, and stepped back quickly. "Ya found it, didya?" I heard dad from behind me. I whirled around to see him standing there, holding the sweet-tea. "Yeah, ah made some, ahem, modifications to the gun cabinet. Ya like?" He stepped in and gestured around the room, nearly spilling the tea. Modifications was an understatement. The whole den… he'd converted it into an armory. I stepped in and looked around, gawping at his selection. Guns, rifles, grenades… then my eyes fell on something truly beautiful. I rushed over to a huge metal contraption in the corner of the room.

"You've got an anti-aircraft cannon?!" I squeaked, running my hands over its cool metal barrel.

"Yup!" He said proudly. "Handheld!"

"You're kiddin' me. Do ya know how strong you'd have ta be to-" He cut me off when he walked over, and picked the thing up with one hand. My jaw hit the ground.

"What're you gawpin' at?" He said, chuckling. "Here, have a go." He put the cannon down, and let me have a try at lifting it. It wouldn't budge.

"How the hell…?" I questioned.

"Yer ol' pa's been workin' out!" He laughed, flexing his muscles jokingly. Then his face softened, and he took off his jacket, and pulled up his sleeve. Nothing wrong so far, I thought as I viewed his arm. But wait… there were no scars. That's when he grabbed ahold of the skin on his shoulder, and pulled it down his arm like a sock, revealing wires, gears and other assorted machinery.

"You're a cyborg." I said in disbelief. He nodded. "How did I not notice!?" I shouted, eyes wide at the spectacle in front of me.

"Hey, you were raised with the real arm. Ah got this'un two years ago, after a job went south. it's quality, too; yer buddy Stark engineered it."

"How can you even afford StarkTech technology?" I looked around me at the armory. "Oh yeah. Bounty hunter." He nodded again. "What is this, pa? You, your arm, the den… everything's changed."

"You were away a long while. A lot changes in ten years." Of course. I don't know why I didn't see it.

"Ah'm sorry ah left." I said. "Ah just… needed ta find my place in the world."

"An' ah guess that place just wasn't here with me, huh?" He smiled sadly. "C'mon. Let's enjoy the tea while it's cold." We spent the next hour or so just sitting and talking in the living room, laughing about old times.

"So, ah hear you got yer hands on a chopper?" I said.

"Thas' right!" He said proudly. "She's right outside. Beautiful piece 'o work, she is."

"She?" I laughed.

"Yeah, she! Just like with you an' that Cassie." I smiled. "She still goin' strong?"

"Yeah. Even after all these years."

"Ah remember yer face when you saw her under the tree." We both had a good laugh, and he settled back down into his chair. "So. You gonna tell me why yer here?" He said. I took a deep breath.

"Ah need ta ask you about my ma." I said. He sighed.

"Ah knew you'd come askin' about her one day." He stood up. "Ah need a drink." He said, shuffling into the kitchen and coming back with a bottle of whiskey.

"This isn't the time to drink."

"This is exactly the time ta drink." He said. He took a swig. And started talking. "Yer ma was a woman named Charlotte. Her maiden name was Vanderburg. Never did give it up, neither, even after we married." I tensed. Somehow I had been expecting this, but it still hurt. "Now, yer ma was a wonderful woman. Beautiful. Kind. But somethin' was always off about her. She'd disappear, sometimes for hours, days on end. Ah'd hear her talkin' to herself, sometimes. When she thought ah couldn't hear. But people always seemed ta love 'er; she'd have anyone she talked to hangin' off her ev'ry word. And when you were six years old, that's when I found out; about her power. She could-" I cut him off.

"Manipulate people's minds. Crawl inside your head and use you like a puppet." He looked surprised.

"How'd you…?"

"Remember ah told you I'm workin' for S.H.I.E.L.D?" He nodded. "We're fightin' her. She's the enemy right now." He took a deep breath.

"This ain't good for an old man's heart." He said, tipping the bottle back again. I looked pointedly at the bottle. "Yeah, ah get yer point." He put the bottle down on the coffee table. "So tha's how you found out?"

"Ah was in her house. Her lair, ah guess. ah found a file. Full 'o stuff about me. Pictures, records, essays from middle school." He nodded.

"Say whatcha like about yer ma, she loved you to pieces. That was the problem." I cocked my head curiously. "One day, ah found out she'd been usin' her power. Usin' it fer you. If ya go back, there was a time in kindergarten when ya got nothin' but straight A's. She was manipulatin' the teachers. Ah put my foot down. Ah said you had to be makin' yer own way in the world. An' that was when she left. A few months later, ah get the mornin' paper and whaddyou know, she's on the front page. Got 'erself killed tryin' to take over the country, of all things. The worst part was, ah saw it comin'. Ah'm just glad ah got her outta the house before she really hurt you."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I choked them back.

"Aw, hun, ah'm sorry. You just seemed so happy, just you and me. Ah didn't think ya needed to know." The conversation could have gone on for hours more. But that's when I got a call on the comm.

"Wendy?" Phil's voice came in.

"Yeah, what is it?" I said, an edge to my voice. Part of me didn't want to hurt Phil, but an even bigger part wanted to make him pay for what he was interrupting. I heard him gulp.

"We need you back. More specifically, we need the helicopter back." I thought a moment.

"Ah could stay." I said, half to Phil, half to my pa.

"No." My pa said, standing up. "You've got a life beyond me, ah know. You need ta get back to it." There was a pause. And then I said into the comm;

"I'll be back in an hour or so, Phil."

"Alright, Wendy." He blipped out. I hugged my pa, and said goodbye. As I was walking out the door, he shouted after me;

"Say thanks to Stark fer the arm!" I waved goodbye as I walked to the chopper, making a mental resolution to do exactly as he said, whether Stark knew what I was talking about or not. I climbed into the chopper.

"Hey." I said to the pilot, my twinge safely tucked away yet again. "Sorry for leaving you so long."

"No problem." He started up the engine, and we flew back. That night I lay in my bed trying to get to sleep. No dice. I just couldn't stop thinking. What did it mean? Was I just another pawn in Charlotte's game? Did Fury know already? And what else was there to Charlotte he wasn't telling us? I didn't sleep that night.


	13. Chapter 13: Rock Bottom

**Author's Note: Alright, we're approaching a bit of an arc here. I just hope I do this right. In other news, I have an editor now! Yay! Unfortunately, she started after I've already got twelve chapters of this fic up on the internet. So there have been some minor changes made to chapter four, and there might be more coming for the rest of the fic. Read them, or don't, the story should flow nicely either way. Anyway, read and review, as always. And enjoy!**

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"Ms. Trescott?" I awoke to the sound of… someone's voice. Sounded like an old British dude.

"The hell…?" I questioned, sitting up. "Who's in my room?"

"No one, miss." There was the voice again. "My name is Jarvis."

"Oh, yeah. You're Stark's AI butler. What're you doing here?"

"Mr. Stark installed me in the helicarrier's mainframe, thinking I could be useful."

"O-okay. One more time; what're you doing in my room?"

"I only thought you would like to know that-"

"Spit it out!" I cut him off.

"Ms. Trescott, it's noon."

"Oh." I said, not fully comprehending. "Oh!" I realized now; I had slept 'til noon. Fury was probably ticked.

"Do not worry, miss. Director Fury understands perfectly, given the day you had yesterday."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, miss." Wow. I didn't think Fury was biologically capable of being considerate. I always figured if he ever did something nice for someone else he'd, I dunno, explode or something. That's when my ears were bombarded with another sound; the most dreadful screeching I'd heard since my last stay in a torture chamber.

"The hell is that?" I yelled over the noise.

"The Tyler triplets, miss."

"The what?" I stood up and opened the door, still in my pajamas (pants and a t-shirt sporting white bat silhouettes on a field of black) and popped my head out. Following the direction of the ungodly noise I soon came to one of the halls leading to the office. Walking down the hall was Rose, looking not nearly as rested as she was stressed. She was holding two blonde babies, one in each arm, and a third, red-haired baby was in the arms of Loki, who was walking behind her. All were bawling. "What're these kids doing here?" I asked.

"Fury called us in on too short notice to call a nanny." Rose replied. "They were fine up until we got on the helicarrier, then-" She was cut off by one of the babies tugging at her hair. "Ow! Madison!"

"That's Eric, dear. Madison is over here." Loki said, holding up the child in his arms pointedly.

"I'm at the end of my rope here." Rose said, exasperated. That's when her eyes lit up, and she seemed to get an idea. "Wendy, do you like kids?"

"Do I- ah!" I was cut off as the two kids in Rose's arms were unloaded onto me.

"Watch them while we're talking with Fury, would you?" She asked, pleading in her eyes.

"I _cannot_ handle kids, Rose! Do I look like a responsible adult?" I twitched.

"Please? It would only be for half an hour, an hour at the most!" I sighed.

"Fine. Fine, I'll watch them."

"Thank you!" She squealed. "You're the best!" She gave me a kiss on the cheek before handing me a bag full of what I presumed was baby stuff, and walking off to Fury's office. Another baby was unloaded onto me as Loki passed. He smirked as he walked by.

"Good luck." He said. "You'll need it." And that's how I ended up juggling three crying, Asgardian babies. An hour later, I was sitting in the rec room, (yes, the helicarrier has a rec room. Not surprisingly, it was Stark's idea) holding one kid in each arm, with one sitting on my lap. "Show me the way to go home," I sang. "I'm tired an' I wanna go to bed." I'd been singing this song for the past forty-five minutes, and the kids were finally fast asleep. I could give my vocal cords a rest. That's when Natasha came in.

"Hey." She said. I shushed her, and she seemed to notice the kids. "Rose saddled you with the triplets, huh?" I nodded. She sat down on the couch next to me. I noticed she wasn't in her cat-suit today. She was wearing jeans, and a black t-shirt with 007 printed big and bold in white on the front.

"James Bond fan?" I said.

"What can I say? I love the classics. Nice PJs, by the way."

"Ah, screw you." She grinned. Gee… was I really that funny? I couldn't help smiling back. I guess we were over what happened in Moscow. It seemed like things were back to normal. But… I still couldn't help but wonder what would have happened… if she had kissed me back. Of course, my train of thought was interrupted when one of the triplets, (Madison, I think?) opened her eyes.

"Oh, shit!" I whisper-hissed.

"Quiet, you'll scare her." Natasha said. "C'mere, Maddie." She picked the kid up and started bouncing her up and down on her lap, much to her delight.

"You can tell them apart?" I said.

"Of course I can. It's easy. Madison has black hair, Eira has blonde hair, and Eric… well, the parts are different."

"I see." My nose wrinkled as a foul stench made its way over to me. "Oh, great."

"Where are the diapers?" Natasha asked. I soundlessly pointed to the bag, and watched as she unzipped the top, pulled out a diaper, and got to work. I was mesmerized. She was acting… motherly! And this is Natasha we're talking about here! I stared too long, though, because when she was finished she turned and caught my gaze. "What are you looking at?" She asked.

"Where did you learn how to change a diaper?"

"One of my missions once involved posing as a nanny for a while."

"By missions, you mean…?" She obviously didn't want to talk about it, so I let the matter drop.

"So. Why are you still watching the triplets?" She asked. I was confused.

"Loki and Rose were in a meeting with the Avengers. Come to think of it… why are you here?"

"That meeting ended about forty-five minutes ago."

"Well then, what the hell are they…" I trailed off. "Oh. On second thought, I won't ask." Natasha nodded. Just a few minutes later, Rose and Loki came into the room, Rose still fixing her hair.

"Thank you so much for watching them!" Rose said. Now Eira and Eric were awake too, and they cooed, reaching for their mother. She picked them both up, and Loki took Madison from Natasha.

"Yeah." I said dryly. "You're welcome." Rose looked sheepishly at the floor.

"Well, we'd best be going. Isn't that right, Loki?"

"I'm afraid she's right. Time to get the young ones back to their nice, reinforced nursery." I snorted, and he looked at me curiously.

"Wait." I said. "That wasn't a joke?"

"Never underestimate a child of Asgard."

"Oh, and I just can't wait until their Jotun sides start to show through." Rose said sarcastically. "Goodbye, and thank you again!" She said as they left the room.

"Huh." I said, simply.

"Huh? Care to articulate more?" Natasha sat back down on the couch next to me.

"I didn't know they had kids."

"Well, you know now. They're one year old, all of them." There was an awkward silence.

"She's my mother." I blurted out. Natasha's eyes widened, and she stood up in a hurry, moving to the door. "Where do you think you're going?" I said after her. She turned, shushed me, then stuck her head out the door and looked left. Then right. Then she shut the door carefully, and locked it.

"Okay. It's safe now." She sat down again.

"I went to visit my pa yesterday." I said. She nodded. "She's my mother. Charlotte's my mother." She nodded again. Of course; she had to have been expecting this. I think even Pete figured it out before I did. "I always knew my mom left when I was six. I just never knew…" I trailed off. "Do you think Fury knew?" I asked. Natasha looked at me, as serious as ever.

"Of course he knew. Fury knows everything about all of us." She was right. Fury had an endless amount of information on every one of the Avengers. Why should I be any different? Wait… did I just call myself an Avenger? My train of thought was cut short by Natasha. "I still don't think he's telling us everything about Charlotte." She said. I looked up.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't tell me you didn't catch it. In the transmission? She called him Nick. _Nobody_ calls him Nick. They've got a history." Something caught in the back of my throat.

"Oh, god. You don't think he…?" Her eyes widened.

"Oh, no no no. No! I mean, you look nothing like him! He can't be!" Of course, logic demanded we abandon the idea. But in the back of my head… "Do you want me to?" She said.

"Want you to what?"

"Find out." I looked at her quizzically. "I can hack into Fury's file system. Find everything he's not telling us. But you might learn something you're not ready to know."

"Are you sure?" She nodded. "It'll just be more red on your ledger." She snorted.

"With my past, this barely even registers as 'red'."

"After you, then?" She smirked.

"We're not going anywhere."

"Wha?" I watched as she pulled from god-knows-where, a little black device with a cord attached to the end. There was a little screen on the device, and a plug on the end of the cord. "The hell is that?" I asked.

"This is what's going to get us the file." I watched curiously as she plugged the device into an outlet in the wall, and code started flashing up and down the little screen as she typed as fast as she could using only her thumbs.

"You look like you're trying to hack into the Matrix by texting." I observed.

"How astute." She said dryly.

"I'm just saying." I peered over her shoulder as she made quick work of Fury's firewalls.

"I'm in."

"Whaddyou got?"

"Hold on." She scanned through the files until one caught her eye, and she opened it. "Charlotte Vanderburg…" She muttered. "What are you hiding?" She stopped scrolling. There it was, right in the middle of the screen.

"She used to date Fury?!" I sort of whisper-yelled. Natasha nodded, transfixed by the screen.

"It looks like they dated in high-school. Their senior year." Wow. The thought of Fury _dating_. Doing normal, human stuff… it was weird.

"Wait; that's not all that's in there." She nodded.

"It says he got her pregnant." My eyes widened in alarm.

"No, no it's not what you think!" She said quickly. "She had an abortion. It was very soon after that that she…"

"She went berserk." I finished for her. "Started killing her classmates." I thought. "My dad said she'd disappear sometimes. For hours, even days."

"That… explains something, doesn't it?" My blackouts. Charlotte - my _mother _– I'd bet the farm I got them from her. There was a moment of silence. And I stood up, unlocked the door, and made a beeline for Fury's office. "Wendy, where are you going?" She ran after me as I stormed through the halls. Fury knew. He knew this entire time. Charlotte was my fricking _mother_ and he had me working against her, totally in the dark when he could have just told me. Did he expect me to just take this lying down? I felt the collar buzz as I walked, picking up pace as I went, and twitching uncontrollably. Oh yeah; the collar. I decided I didn't care. I was interrupted when Natasha stepped in front of me, arms spread and in my way. "Stop this." She said. "You don't have to do this." I hesitated a bit. Then walked straight through her, pushing her to the ground. The collar's shock registered as only a faint buzz in the back of my neck. No wonder I couldn't feel it, too; by now my vision was starting to blur, and my thoughts were focusing in on one goal; make Fury pay. It was starting. Soon I would wake up in a dark room somewhere, chains on my wrists and blood on my hands, and I didn't care. I was angry. I was mad as hell. The last thing I saw, I mean _really _saw, was the doors swinging open at my touch, and Fury turning to look my way.

"Fury!" I shouted.

I remember little flashes after that. Natasha trying to pull me off of Fury. All the agents calling for backup at once. They tried to shoot a tranquilizer in my ass; all it did was make me worse. I remember being held back kicking and screaming by huge, green arms. And crying. It might have been me who was crying. I'm not sure. I woke on the ground, face down. I quickly sat up and looked around; a circular room with glass walls, and a metal ceiling and floor. Hulk's vault. They had to put me in the vault. I looked down at my hands, which were covered in blood. The stench of iron filled my nose. I panicked for a second, then I saw the cuts, scrapes and raw bits on my hands. It was mine; my blood.

"That was me. Sorry." I looked up to see Bruce sitting outside the vault. He looked distressed. He was completely disheveled, and he hadn't shaved in at least a day. "When Hulk was bringing you in here, you were pounding at him pretty hard. Clawing at the walls." I said nothing. He stood up out of his chair and walked over to the wall of the vault. "Are you alright?" He asked. I shook my head now. God… all I wanted was to disappear. What had I done? Wait… what _had_ I done?

"What happened?" I asked.

"Natasha said you found out-"

"No." I said firmly. "What happened?" He took a deep breath.

"Fury's got a broken leg and a few impressive bruises. You broke Tasha's nose. Clint tried to help too. He's still crying over his broken bow. Three of the agents are in the medical ward. Two are dead."

I moved slowly, curling up on the spot, hugging my knees. I tried to cry. I tried, I really did, but I couldn't. I had killed two people. Two _innocent_ people. I hadn't even cared. Before I went, before I was all the way gone, I remember wanting so bad to black out. Maybe I just didn't want to have to witness the things I wanted to do to Fury with my own eyes. I heard him tapping on the keypad.

"No, don't come in." He didn't listen. He stepped into the vault with me. "You're stuck in here now." I said.

"Coulson's watching on a security camera. He'll know If I need out." He sat down on the floor with me, and put an arm around my shoulder. I didn't want it there. I didn't do anything about it. "Wendy, I know how you feel." He said. "I know what it's like to-"

"You don't." I said. My voice was quiet, but harsh. "You don't know. When I black out, it's _me_. It's me killing everyone and enjoying it. And, yeah, I don't remember after, but that doesn't change the fact that I don't have the luxury of having some "other guy" inside me I can blame it on." He was taken aback. He slowly removed his hand from my back.

"Wendy, you can't let this define you. There have to be treatments out there, ways we could make you better!" I snapped toward him, my teeth bare and my eyes wild. He gulped; then leaned forward and wrapped his arms around me. If he was expecting a reaction, he didn't get it. I sat still as a stone waiting for him to leave. Eventually he just fell asleep, and I shrugged him off of me onto the floor and lay down on my side. I didn't want to be anymore. I just didn't want to exist. Huh, yeah; I thought to myself. Like I'd be brave enough to end it.

"Why not?" I heard a voice say. The voice was feminine, but sort of raspy. It sounded like me.

"Where are you?" I asked.

"Right here, dumbass." I looked around. "Here as in I'm in your head. Congrats; you're officially nuts." Oh yeah. Dad had said that Charlotte used to talk to herself; I must have inherited it. Great; just great. Now I was a homicidal berserker schizoid. "Why not?" The voice said again. "Go on, just do it."

"I don't have anything here."

"Didn't Fury say the collar was rigged to explode?" I gave it some thought. I fondled the collar for a bit. Then I slipped my hand under, feeling it buzz. I started to pull.

That's when I heard the door open, and Natasha walked in.

"Hey." She said. I didn't bother looking up. "He fell asleep, huh?" I heard a clatter. "Since you refuse to leave the vault, I thought I'd better bring you some dinner. Compliments of Wade." I rolled around and peered cautiously at the plate. Chimichangas; figures. "He asked to make it extra spicy for you. It corroded the first few tortillas we tried, so eventually we just wrapped it in three at the same time and hoped for the best." Leave. Just leave. Leave leave leave… "It wasn't your fault." Oh, this was going to be interesting. "It wasn't anyone's. The way I see it, the universe just has a funny way of entertaining itself." She stepped toward me. "Oh yeah; Fury asked me to do this." I heard a click from her direction, and another from the collar; and it fell off. The collar fell to the ground, lifeless. "He said it would be too easy to misuse, and he'd put it back on once you were feeling like yourself." Somehow I doubted those were his exact words. "We're all worried." Natasha said as she left. "Everyone is. Even Stark, though he's trying his best to hide it. Just… feel better." She slung Bruce over his shoulder, and the door closed behind her. And I went back to my nice, comfortable fetal position.


	14. Chapter 14: Of Two Minds

**Author's Note: I have almost no knowledge of schizophrenia, (bad psych buff, bad!) so please be patient with me if I have no idea what I'm talking about. Either way, I'm super proud of the next few chapters, so read and review as always! **

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Days later I was still in the vault. Every day, dishes came and went, always leaving as full as they came in, if a bit colder. Tammy was still a pain in my ass. Oh yeah; I named the voice Tammy.

"Is there a plan behind this whole "not eating" thing?" She asked.

"It's supposed to take about a month to starve to death, right?"

"Go on; just end it right now. Bang on the walls, you know how this thing is built."

"Too painless." I said simply. Tammy was silent. She did this, sometimes; just shut up for a while. She called it sleeping. Another day passed. And another. People visited, sometimes. Bruce came a lot. So did Pete. Wade came once; it was a disaster. I never said anything to any of them. Couldn't they see I just wanted to be left alone? I didn't even see Natasha once, after that first time. Something in me wished she would visit. I squashed that thought as soon as I could. It was one day, though, about two since I'd been put in there, when Fury came for a visit. He hobbled in on crutches, one leg still in a cast; the one I put him in.

"Trescott, what do you think you're doing?" He said from outside the vault. "This pity party of yours? It's got to stop. You can't throw a tantrum like this every time your shoelace breaks. So you got booted off the mission? Well, boohoo." That's what he thought this was about? I gritted my teeth. "You're causing a lot of problems for a lot of people, Trescott. Stark is back in his state of 'perpetual hangover'. Parker's in tears, Romanov can't focus. I suggest you get your act together, get up, and start doing your share of work again." When I didn't answer, he huffed and pressed a button on the keypad. A projection popped up inside the vault. "Here; a bit of entertainment." He left, and I poked my head out from under my folded arms. It was security footage, from the vault. All it showed was me sleeping. That's when I saw; Natasha appeared from the corner of the screen. She walked over to me, knelt down and stuck a needle in my arm.

"Nutrition shots." I muttered. That's why I wasn't hungry. Well, not as hungry as a girl who'd been starving herself for two weeks should be. I watched as Natasha lingered by my side, pulling my hair behind my ears and stroking my forehead. She cared. She cared whether I lived or died. Enough to… somehow I always thought I was just an asset to Natasha.

"Ooh, someone's got a cru-ush." Tammy piped up from the back of my mind.

"Shut up." I growled. Of course I didn't have a crush on Natasha. Right? I mean, I was with Bruce! Of course, this wasn't going to be some whole heartwarming "wrestling with my sexuality" story. I've known I was bi since I was fourteen. But I didn't have any kind of "crush". I was too old for those. The video, though; I spent a long time mulling that over in my head. Hours – or maybe minutes, I'm not sure – later, Bruce came into the vault. I was curled up in the corner again, and I stayed there as he set down a bowl next to me. By the smell of it, it was curry. Probably spicy. They were trying to lure me out with my favorite foods.

"Please eat, Wendy." Bruce pleaded. "This isn't healthy." He had learned by now that lingering didn't do much, and he turned and started to leave. All of a sudden, I found myself with the bowl in my hands, and a spoon in my mouth, wolfing down the spicy, heavenly food. I heard Bruce stop. I could imagine the smile on his face. I put the bowl down almost as soon as I had picked it up, and Bruce walked back and took it. Before he left, though, he knelt down, wrapped his arms around me and said; "Thank you. Wendy, thank you." He lingered a bit, and I put my hand on his. Damn… now we were both crying. We stayed like that for a good while, neither one of us wanting to move and ruin the moment. Even with Tammy making gagging noises in the back of my head.

In just a few short days, I was deemed healthy and fit enough to resume daily life. Fury made a big fanfare of putting the collar back on; everyone there as he reached around my neck, and I heard the ends connect with a satisfying click. It sounds weird, but I'd missed it, and it was comforting to have it back.

"I'm impressed, Trescott." Fury said when he stepped back. "I would've thought you'd take the opportunity to hightail it outta here." I just smirked, fondling the collar absentmindedly. "I removed the explosive function, by the way." He said. He still thought I'd end up "misusing" it.

"And why not?" I heard Tammy say. I mentally kicked her.

"Shut up." I whispered under my breath. "This isn't your moment to ruin."

"I'm sorry?" Fury said.

"Oh, nothing." Suddenly the wind was knocked out of me, as a certain flaxen-haired god had me caught up in a huge bear-hug.

"Lady Wendy, I am overjoyed that you are feeling well!" He said enthusiastically.

"R-ribs…" I croaked. He pulled away quickly and clapped me on the shoulder, smiling like an idiot.

"In Asgard we would have a feast to celebrate!"

"Oooh!" Wade piped up. "Can we?" Wow… they were really making a big deal about me leaving the vault. Was everyone really so excited to see me?

"Oh, please." Ugh; Tammy. "They just want an excuse to party. Do you think any of them really cares about you?" She was interrupted when I was swept off my feet by an eager Wade, who led a procession to the mess hall with me above his head.

"Party! Party!" He chanted.

"Um, Wade?" Bruce said worriedly as he followed beside us. "Would you mind…?"

"Aw, but it's fun up here!" Suddenly I was lifted up out of Wade's grasp and over the shoulder of the Hulk.

"Hulk's girlfriend!" He growled to Wade.

"O-kay, gotcha." Wade held up his hands in defense. In nothing more than a few minutes, the mess hall was one big party. Thor was drinking the cupboard dry; Stark was trying his hardest, but had been cut off by Pepper, who had decided to join the celebration. Everyone else was dancing like there was no tomorrow, since they had pushed aside the tables and started playing music over the intercom; all Wade's doing. Me? I was sitting at one of the tables, watching and grinning to myself. Normally I'd probably be drinking _and _dancing at the same time, laughing up a storm. But I just didn't have the energy. It was still fun to watch, though.

"Brother!" I heard Thor shout to Loki.

"Thor?" The god replied, confused. He didn't have much time to react, though, because Thor pulled him away from Rose and buried him in a hug. "Thor, are you drunk?"

"Nonsense, I don't *hic* get drunk." I covered my mouth to keep from giggling. "I love you, you know that?"

"Erm..." Loki looked about as awkward as anyone can be.

"I'm sorry!" Thor started to blubber. "I'm so sorry!"

"Sorry for what?" Loki's voice started to take on a harsh tone. Uh-oh.

"I'm the one who ate the last tart when we were young!" Seriously? Thor held his brother tighter, and I could swear I heard Loki's back cracking in his grasp.

"Um… there there?" Loki said awkwardly as he patted his brother's back.

"Aww!" Stark said. "No wonder there's so much fanfiction about you two."

"Fan what?" Loki said as he struggled to pull himself out of his bawling brother's grasp.

"Fanfiction. You guys're pretty famous, you shouldn't be surprised. I've gotta show you some Thorki stuff one of these days."

"What on Midgard is this "Thorki" you speak of?" Rose walked up to him, pulled him down by the shoulder and whispered something in his ear. "Oh dear gods!" Loki blushed as he snapped up quickly. "By the All Father… direct me to the rank and rotten bilgesnipe who writes this foul literature, and I shall put a stop to it!" I could see Rose trying to hide her giggles from here.

"Dear, it's not just one person. You'd have to deal with a whole fandom to get rid of the stuff completely. And then you'd have to wipe it from the internet… just leave it alone."

"But… but it's wrong!"

"I know, Loki. I know."

"What is that?" Natasha said to Clint as she watched him dance.

"It's called dancing, sweetheart. Watch the master!" I had to admit; Clint was actually pretty good. He looked like his legs weren't attached to the rest of his body as he moved to the music. Natasha laughed as he circled around her, then took her hands and dragged her out onto the floor. Bruce sat down next to me.

"Everyone is so happy now that you're feeling better." He said.

"I don't get it, though." I said. He cocked his head. "I thought… I always thought I was just 'that crazy girl we've gotta look after or she'll go berserk and murder everyone'. I didn't think…" I trailed off.

"But Wendy, that's not what you are!" He said. I looked up at him. "To tell the truth, in the beginning you were a charge; someone to look after. But now? If anything we see you as Fury's rebellious daughter." I couldn't help it; I laughed aloud.

"His daughter? That's one weird family." He chuckled. "Who's everyone else, then?" He put his hand to his chin, thinking.

"Fury and Coulson are the dads." Wow… not an image I needed in my head. "You're the youngest daughter. I think Natasha is the oldest daughter, and Steve is the oldest son. Clint is the boyfriend nobody likes." I snickered. "Stark is the irresponsible uncle who can't get his life together. Loki is the fun uncle, and Thor is the weird one. Rose is then nice aunt who seems way too young for her husband. Pete is the youngest son, and Wade is the boyfriend no-one can quite figure out how he fell for, and me-" I cut him off.

"You're the boyfriend everyone actually likes." I pulled him in close and kissed him. God, had I missed this. The feel of his lips on mine, the taste… it was good to be out. But still… I found my thoughts drifting to Natasha.

"Wendy and Tasha, sittin' in a tree. K.I.S.S.I.N.G!" Tammy sang inside my head. I mentally shouted at her to shut the hell up.

"Are you alright?" Bruce said. He could obviously see the stress in my face. I opened my mouth to answer.

"Alright, everyone!" That was Wade. He was standing on top of one of the tables, with one hand cupped around his mouth, and the other holding a plate. "It has come to my attention that a certain Wendy Trescott has never tried a chimichanga!" He hopped down amidst murmurs from the crowd.

"What exactly is a chimichanga?" Natasha said.

"Oh, you'll see." Wade put the plate down in front of me. "Eat up!" I stared at the dish. It looked… well, like a deep-fried burrito. It was big, gold, and crispy. I picked it up – it was still warm – and put it in my mouth, biting down. My eyes widened.

"Holy frick, this is good!" I exclaimed, mouth still full of spicy, meaty goodness.

"She likes it!" Wade shouted. "Now for all you other nonbelievers!" Chimichangas were passed all around the room. "Don't worry, Pete, it's not spicy this time." Wade said to Pete, who was eyeing his chimichanga suspiciously.

"Here goes." He took a bite. "Hey… this is actually pretty good!" Stark loved them. So did Pepper, Clint and Bruce. Natasha was less than impressed. Wade couldn't get Loki to try one, though not for lack of trying. Phil looked dubious until he took a bite.

"I love this!" He said. Wade clapped him on the back, almost making him choke.

"Everyone does, Agent; everyone does."

"Um," Phil said, swallowing. "You can call me Phil, if you want." Wade looked at him, confused.

"Really? I thought your first name was Agent?" The whole day was really fun. Really, really fun. After the party was over, and most of the Avengers had gone home, I found myself alone in the halls with Natasha.

"Hey." She said awkwardly as she walked beside me.

"Hey. Where you headed?"

"My room. You?"

"Same." I flushed. "No, I didn't mean- I'm headed to _my_ room. Not yours." I looked away. Great… now that Tammy had put the idea in my head I couldn't stop thinking about… no, I couldn't let myself think that.

"You don't sleep with Bruce, then?" Interesting question.

"We actually haven't…"

"Ah." An awkward silence.

"I know what you did." I said. She looked at me. "In the vault. You helped me, right? Stopped me from starving myself." I paused. "Why did you do it?" She sighed.

"Because I know how you feel." Oh great. Here it came; the whole 'everyone has problems, you're not alone' speech. "Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you remembered?"

"What?" I was confused.

"If you remembered everything you did during your blackouts. What do you think would happen?" I thought.

"I probably wouldn't be able to handle it."

"That's how I feel. All the time." Right… I was such an idiot. I really was a class A moron. Forget my problems; Natasha had a past so filled with blood I could practically smell it the moment I met her.

"So, I don't know. I guess I just… sympathize."

"You didn't have to." I said suddenly. She stopped walking, and I with her.

"What did you just say?" I twitched. Then opened my mouth and said the stupidest thing I ever could have.

"You didn't have to 'save' me, alright? You could have just left me alone. Did you ever think maybe I didn't want to be saved?" Tammy was egging me on the whole way. I really shouldn't have listened to her, but…

"Don't be stupid."

"What?" I said.

"I said, don't be stupid." She grabbed my collar and pushed me up against the wall. "You wanted to die, huh? You were a horrible excuse for a human being, there was no end in sight, and you just wanted it all to stop. Yeah; I've been there." She used her free hand to pull her collar down. There, on her chest, was a gunshot wound. An old one. "I missed my heart." She said, covering it back up. "I spent months in recovery wishing I hadn't. But today? I'm glad I messed it up. Because if I'd succeeded, I wouldn't have joined S.H.I.E.L.D. I wouldn't have gotten the chance to right my wrongs, be the best person I can be. I wouldn't have met Fury, or Coulson, or Clint, or you, Wendy." I gulped. Thoughts raced through my head at lightning pace, trying to make sense of just what was happening to me in this moment. I licked my lips as I watched hers. I wanted to. I really wanted to. But how- I didn't have to think about it any longer. Natasha grasped the back of my head with her free hand and pulled my lips toward hers. We interlocked, moving against each other, arms around each other's waists as we fell to the ground. We were still in the middle of the hallway; we didn't care. So this is what it felt like… to kiss the Black Widow. She was good. Amazingly good. And she was gone. All at once, she was just gone, and I was sitting on the ground with my back against the wall.

"Wendy?" It was Bruce. I see; she must have heard him coming. "Wendy, what are you doing down there?" He said, chuckling as he reached a hand down to pull me up. I took his hand, and tingled as I felt his touch. I smiled at him.

"Nothing important." I said. Because it wasn't. It had been great, for those few, fleeting moments. But when Bruce and I kissed… I saw fireworks. Heard wedding bells. With Natasha, it just wasn't there.

"He doesn't love you." Tammy again. "He never will. Who could love _you?_ You're Wendy, the psychotic, homicidal, berserker, schizophrenic mess. Just give up." I shoved her to the back of my mind.

"Hey, Bruce?" I asked. He looked at me. "Could we go to your room?"

"Um, sure." He took my hand and led me through the halls until we got to a little room off in the corner of the helicarrier. I'd never actually been in here before, which says something about our relationship.

"What are you doing?" Tammy reprimanded me. "Just give up!" I gritted my teeth as Bruce opened the door. The room was big, at least compared to mine. There was a wide bed with purple sheets in the middle of the room, and the walls were plastered with equations and diagrams.

"Here it is, home sweet home." Bruce said. "Why did you want to-" He was interrupted by my lips against his. He stumbled as I pushed him onto the bed. I needed to confirm something. "Wendy?" He said, looking up into my eyes. He must have seen the ideas lurking behind them, because he gulped.

"Do you really want to…? Wendy, I'm not sure If I'll be able to control myself." I could see a little flash of green in his eyes already.

"Please." I said. "I've had a time of it. I just need to feel _good_. Just for now." He smiled, nervously, and began to let his hands wander.

And there they were; the wedding bells.

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**Author's Note: Yeah, I know... Wendy gets around, huh? That is all. :P**


	15. Chapter 15: The Stray and the Scientist

**Author's note: Hooray for fluff! :) Don't worry, though; this chapter isn't _all _sweet nothings and puppy-dog eyes. However, I thought both Wendy and you readers out there deserved a break after all the goings on. Please read and review, and most importantly, enjoy!**

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I woke up the next morning, still groggy with sleep. I frowned, eyes still closed as I dimly registered that my pillow was harder than usual that morning. I opened one eye, then the other, and was greeted by the sight of a sleeping, naked Bruce, whose chest my head had been laying on. I could feel heat spread across my cheeks as I recounted the events of the last night. After he had gotten over the initial nervousness, Bruce had been… well, an animal. The entire time his eyes seemed to be a perfect mix of green and brown, so that they were almost hazel. It was as if I was making love to the man and the beast at the same time. I looked down at myself, eyeing the dozens of love-bites and hickey's he had left all over my body, as if he had been claiming me for his own. Well, I thought, tracing my finger around the impressive hickey I'd left on his neck, at least I got him back. To be honest, I had been nervous. It was my first time. Well, my first time with a guy, anyway. But he made it okay. The entire time he was whispering into my ear, reassuring me that everything would be alright; he'd be gentle, he'd be kind, and he was true to his words. I had even managed to tune Tammy out. And now, as I lay there breathing in his scent, (he smelled like a weird mix between Axe and laboratory chemicals) I couldn't help but think that it had been the happiest, most magical night of my life.

"G'morning." He said sleepily, looking up at me. I saw his eyes dart briefly downward, then back up to my eyes as his face turned red. I smirked. Good; the girls were doing their job. "Were you watching me sleep?" He said with one eyebrow raised.

"Don't flatter yourself, mophead." I said, ruffling his still-matted hair. "I woke up like two seconds ago." I sat up. "I'm surprised the Green Giant didn't make an appearance last night. I had you pretty riled up, if you'll remember."

"The Green Giant?" I nodded. "Like the guy on the canned vegetable labels?"

"Exactly! It's a term of endearment." I saw a smile dancing on the corner of his cheeks.

"Did you dream about me?" The heat in my cheeks started to spread, until I was blushing furiously.

"I'll take that as a yes." His eyes wandered downward again. This time, though, they didn't stop at my chest. "Er… sorry about the bruises."

"I like them. They mark me as yours."

"Is that so?" He pulled me in close, grinning like the happiest fool in the world. I liked this new, confident Bruce. "You're mine, then?"

"Don't think for a second that you don't belong to me." I twitched. Dammit… not the time, muscle spasms!

"You know you're adorable when you do that, right?"

"I'm what?"

"Adorable. I love it when you twitch. You look like…"

"An insane person?" He chuckled.

"Like a mad scientist." A grin spread across my face.

"Oh, wonderful compliment!"

"A really _hot_ mad scientist!" He protested.

'You're horrible at this!" I said, laughing.

"Fine then. What would you have said?"

"How 'bout that it makes me unique and you wouldn't have me any other way?"

"Okay, you would have liked it if I said that?"

"No, I would have said it was complete bullshit." He ran his hands through his hair, still grinning.

"You're impossible."

"I know. Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me." He reached around my waist and held me, his bare chest pressing close to mine and his lips just above my ear.

"You're beautiful and amazing, and I love you. You're not a burden, you're a gift." I returned his embrace, smiling into the crook of his neck. He knew all the right things to say.

"Bruce?"

"Mm?" He grunted in reply.

"Can we just stay here for a while?" He looked up, and I followed his gaze to the clock on the wall. Seven forty-five.

"For a while." He lay slowly back down, taking me with him. We stayed like that, snuggled under the sheets with our arms around each other, for all of four minutes.

"Dr. Banner? Ms. Trescott? Jarvis's voice came from out of nowhere.

"What is it, Jarvis?" Bruce said, sounding annoyed.

"Mr. Stark is on his way to your room. I thought I should notify you."

"What the hell is he doing on the helicarrier this early in the morning?" I sat up, alarmed.

"He said he had something for you, Dr. Banner."

"Oh, great." Bruce said as he pulled himself out of bed and got dressed in a frantic hurry. A knock came on the door as he was pulling his pants on over his shoes, which he had decided to don first.

"Hello? You in there?" Came Stark's voice.

"Give me a second!" He walked over to the door, more-or less dressed, and opened it just a crack. "What do you want, Tony?"

"Remember that formula you asked me to tweak?" He handed Bruce a jar of clear liquid. "You're welcome."

"Thanks." Bruce tried to close the door on him, but he stuck his foot through the crack.

"O-h, no. You're not getting out of this one. Don't think I didn't notice the hickey." Oops. Bruce's hand went to his neck in a panic, giving Stark a chance to throw the door open and get a great view of me, wearing nothing but a white sheet. "Oh ho!" Stark said triumphantly. "You finally laid her, Brucie! And it only took, what, six months?" Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefingers.

"Out."

"Ooh, and she's covered in bruises, too. What did mean old Dr. Banner do to you, huh?" If looks could kill, then between the two of us Stark would have been dead already.

"Out, out out!" Bruce pushed Stark out the door.

"Have fun, you two!" Stark shouted through the door as Bruce slammed it shut on his nose with his shoulder. I got up out of the bed and hugged him from behind, hands clasped in front of him.

"I am so sorry about him." Bruce said.

"Aw, has Stark got you all stressed?" He nodded. "Want me to kill him for you?" He chuckled.

"Okay, but make it painless. He's still my friend, you know."

"I can decapitate him."

"Ooh, can I keep the head?"

"Deal." I grinned as I leaned down to grab my clothes from the ground, purposefully giving him a front-seat view of my ass. I could practically hear him blushing. "Like the view?" He just stammered incoherently for a bit, then made the wise decision to keep his mouth shut. I pulled on my underwear, my dark-black jeans, and my favorite black t-shirt with the Black Sabbath logo on the front. "The great thing about short hair?" I commented. "No brushing. You just," I ran through my hair with my fingers, tousling it a bit so that it stood up on end. "See?"

"How come you look so together?" Bruce said, a hint of playful envy in his voice.

"That's because I _normally_ look scruffy and out of touch. You, on the other end, give off the vibe of someone who irons and starches his dollar bills." He scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"It makes it easier to use the vending machines."

"Ha! I knew it!"

"You're the one who freaked the last time I got your CDs out of order!"

"I have a system!"

"What is it? Most to least depressing?" We stood in front of each other a moment, trying to hide our smiles. Then I threw my arms around him and said,

"I love you."

"I love you too. Now let's get out there; god only knows what Stark thinks we're doing in here."

"Good idea. Can I borrow a coat?"

"Why?" I gestured to the marks he had left on my arms. "Oh. Yeah, I think there's one in the closet." I dug a dark-blue hoodie out of his closet, and threw it on over the rest of my ensemble. Bruce held the door open for me, and we left for the lab.

"So, what's that stuff Stark gave you?" I asked as he walked around the lab, pouring the stuff in test-tubes and studying it critically under this gadget and that.

"Super-conductive fluid." He answered.

"Um… elaborate, please?"

"The electronics in the lab have been getting slower and slower lately. Tony suggested the wiring might be losing conductivity. So I made this. The initial formula had some problems, though, so we've spent a few weeks sending it back and forth and tweaking it. It's supposed to increase the conductivity of objects. It has yet to be tested, but it looks like…" a flurry of sparks came from the pool of fluid he was testing. "This is the one." He smiled. "Hey, could you help me out with this?"

"Whaddya need?"

"I need to get this on the wiring, but for that I'd need to be able to fit through this hatch." He banged lightly on a hatch underneath the desk to illustrate his point. "You're… petite enough that you might be able to make it." I smiled.

"Anyone ever told you "flattery will get you nowhere"?"

"Um, yes…"

"They were wrong." He smiled, and poured the liquid into a spray container, then handed it to me. I got down on my hands and knees and crawled into the hatch. It was surprisingly roomy, given that the space I was in housed almost all the wiring for the entire lab. "Now what?" I asked.

"There should be a fan in the corner." I looked over to see a medium-sized, metal fan built into the wall.

"I see it."

"Turn it on, then spray the fluid generously into the air. It should circulate throughout the entire system."

"Um… should I be exposed to this?"

"Oh, don't worry. It shouldn't have an effect on organic material."

"Shouldn't? As in, you're not sure!?"

"No, no! I'm sure you'll be fine!"

"Okay, then…" I reached over and flicked a switch near the fan, then sprayed the stuff all over everything. I could see the particles swimming around in the air, clinging to every available bit of metal. Then I made the mistake of inhaling. I started coughing uncontrollably, and crawled out in a fit.

"Wendy, are you alright." I nodded, trying to get my diaphragm under control.

"I just… I just inhaled at the worst possible time. Are you sure this stuff's nontoxic?"

"Completely harmless. Not to mention, it gave me a great excuse to ogle you." I squeaked as he grabbed my ass, a puckish look on his face. Yep; I was definitely liking new, confident Bruce. I leaned up to kiss him, then wrapped my arms around his neck for the third time that day. Over his shoulder, I saw a figure through the window. It was Natasha. She was standing there, expressionless as she watched us. Oh great. After last night… she knew there was no way we could be together, didn't she? I really didn't need to have to face the wrath of the Black Widow. What she did next surprised me more than I ever thought possible. She smiled, a small, reassuring smile, and nodded. Then she left. Did she… she understood? I was expecting to have to deal with the fury of a scorned spy, (hell hath none) but… I made a silent vow that I would find her and talk with her later.

"Ms. Trescott?" Jarvis again.

"Yes, Jarvis, what is it this time?" I said.

"Ma'am, Mr. Wilson has requested you."

"Tell him I'm busy." A pause. "He will not take no for an answer, ma'am."

"Fine. Where is he?"

"He is in the rec room, ma'am."

"Bruce?" I said.

"Yeah, I know. Say hi to him for me, alright?" I gave him a kiss on the cheek, then left for the rec room.

"What is it, Wade?" I said when I got there, hands on my hips. He may be my idol, but he'd interrupted my time with Bruce. I wasn't happy.

"I'm bored." He said, simply. He was sprawled out on the couch upside down, head on the floor, feet hanging over the back.

"That's what you had Jarvis call me here for? You're bored?"

"Yeah! Do something about it!"

"Get your boyfriend to do something about it!"

"He… he won't talk to me" He almost sounded… distressed.

"Wade, what happened?" I sat down next to him, and he jumped up, rearranging himself on the couch so that the blood wasn't rushing to his head.

"I told him I don't want kids." He looked away from me as I said it.

"Oh, Wade, is that it?"

"Is that _it?_ He hasn't talked to me in days! His dream has always been to start a family, and…" Wade was sounding a lot more coherent than usual. I could tell he really cared about Pete.

"Oh, come here." I pulled him into a hug. Of course, even at a time like this, Wade is still Wade.

"Heh. Boobies." I pushed him to the other side of the couch.

"Dirty old man. I thought you were gay, anyway?"

"I like hot guys _and_ hot girls. I'm shallow that way." I ran my hands through my hair, and tried to get back on topic.

"Why don't you want kids, Wade?" He paused a second.

"Look at me." He said. "Just, just look at me. I can't take care of a kid, I can barely take care of myself! And god forbid if it was _my_ kid. What if this," He lifted his mask to show the tumor-riddled skin underneath. "Is genetic?"

"Forget all that." I said.

"What?" He lowered the mask again.

"Forget all that. Do you _want_ kids? Would it make you happy?" He nodded. "Then all that other shit you're gonna have to deal with? It's gonna be nothing but that; shit to deal with, and then forget about, 'cause it's gonna be peanuts compared to the happiness that comes with a family." He stared blankly for a second. "Well?" I said. "Go! Go get your boyfriend!" He stood up eagerly and bounded through the door.

"Thanks Wendy!" He called over his shoulder. I smiled. Another job well done. Then I realized what I had likely unleashed upon the world; oh god. Little mini-Deadpools running around with their training katanas? What had I done? I chuckled.

"You have a talent for dealing with him, Ms. Trescott." It was Jarvis.

"Yeah, well, psychopaths tend to understand each other."

"That may account for it, yes." A pause.

"What's it like?" I asked.

"Pardon?"

"What's it like, being you? Being a system inside a building?"

"I imagine it's quite different from having a human body, though I have no experience to make the comparison." I thought on that. "It is more enjoyable within the Stark Tower. There I have more power over the various electronics within the building."

"Wait… enjoyable? Aren't you not supposed to have emotions? You're just an AI, right?"

"I… do not know, ma'am. I only know that I sometimes wonder what it is like to have emotions."

"Jarvis, that's like saying "I wish cookies were my favorite food because I like them the best". You realize that, right?"

"I suppose so, though the analogy was a bit…"

"Yeah, yeah, it's all I could come up with on short notice." I thought a moment. "Jarvis, do you want a body?" No answer. "Jarvis?"

"Yes, ma'am. But I am more useful to Mr. Stark in my current state."

"Well, screw that. Where is he?"

"Where is who?"

"You know who I mean. Where's Stark?"

"He is on the tarmac, about to depart for the tower." I got up, and sprinted up through the levels of the helicarrier. There, on the tarmac, was Stark, getting ready to climb into one of his private jets and fly away home.

"Stark!" I shouted. "Yo, tin-man!" He turned to see me.

"Hey, Wendy!" He smiled. "Congrats on banging Bruce! Come to ask for some pointers?" Ew.

"Not in a million years, Stark."

"Ah, call me Tony. Whaddya need?"

"Jarvis." I said.

"Um, sorry, can't do that. He's kind of my property."

"No, I don't need you to give me Jarvis. I need you to do something for him." He raised one eyebrow. "He wants to be human." He laughed.

"Wendy, Jarvis is an AI. He might sound like he has real thoughts and opinions, but really he's just echoing his creator; me."

"He's real. I know he is. I was talking to him, he said he wants to be human, to have a human body. You're close, right? Don't deny it, I know you think of him as a close friend, no matter how sure you are he's just a system. Don't you want him to be happy?" Stark, er, _Tony_ thought about this.

"Even if I could, it'd take years."

"He's got time."

"He could never be really human."

"It would be better than being a system inside a building." He ran his hand through his hair.

"Fine. Fine, I'll take it under consideration. But you have to help me." He began to climb up the steps to his plane.

"Wait, what?!"

"You've got a degree in engineering, right? I saw your file. And besides; you can help out with some of the aesthetics." He winked as the door to the plane shut, and I stepped back and covered my ears as it shot off into the sky faster than sound. That had went… well. Too well, in fact. Since when was Sta- _Tony_ so agreeable? I guessed I'd have to puzzle over that later. For now, my mission was this; find Natasha. I walked back into the helicarrier.

"Jarvis, can you give me the location of agent Romanov?"

"I find it unwise to violate her wishes for privacy, ma'am."

"Jarvis, please? It's personal, and I really need to talk to her."

"Terribly sorry, ma'am." Oh, great; I'd have to find her myself. Well, how many places could there be aboard the helicarrier for a Russian spy to hide?


	16. Chapter 16: Wendy Plays Frankenstein

**Author's note: I love this chapter. I just hope I got Tony right. Read and review, please!**

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Just a week later, there I was; climbing out of a limo in front of the Stark tower. Tony had really taken to my suggestion to build Jarvis a body, and he had gotten special permission from Fury to fly me down here. Technically, we could have just landed a helicopter on the roof and gotten it over with, but I think he wanted to impress with the limo. It worked. As I got out, I eyed the giant sign on the top of the tower. Instead of "Stark", it now only said "A", damage left over from the NY fiasco. I wondered why Tony didn't just fix it. There was probably some sort of motive behind it; Tony never did anything just because.

"Here it is, home sweet home." He greeted me at the door.

"This is…"

"Astounding? Impressive? A wonderful example of my pure ingenuity?"

"Big." He snorted.

"Yeah, I'll give you that. C'mon, I'll show you to the lab." We walked into the lobby, and stepped into one of the elevators. "Jarvis? Lab, please."

"Yes, sir." Jarvis replied. And we began to travel downward. When we finally got out, I stepped into a fully-stocked mechanical laboratory, complete with… well, everything! I was greeted by a… well, it looked to be a mechanical arm on wheels.

"Um…" I wasn't quite sure what to do with the thing.

"Leave her alone, Butterfingers. I guarantee you she won't want your help." The arm lowered dejectedly. "That's Butterfingers. He's a worthless piece of machinery I engineered one day when I was bored. Don't let him help; Butterfingers can't do jack."

"Aww. Poor thing." I stroked the arm around the joint, and it lifted up, looking happier. I smiled.

"Alright, let's get to work, shall we?" Tony said, swaggering to the middle of the room.

"I thank you both for doing this for me." Jarvis said. "I am greatly looking forward to the outcome."

"Ah, no prob, Jarvis. Now then, I was thinking something like this." He pulled up a hologram out of thin air.

"Tony?" I said.

"Yeah?"

"That's a Transformer."

"So? Transformers are cool."

"I doubt Jarvis will want to walk around looking like frickin' Optimus Prime!"

"Are you blind? That's Bumblebee!" I studied the image. They all looked the same, to me.

"How about we ask Jarvis what he wants to look like. Jarvis?"

"I don't know, ma'am. I do not have much experience in matters like these."

"I wouldn't expect you to. Let's start simple, huh? Male or female?"

"Er, male, please." Tony was taking the notes down in his computer.

"Alright. Hair?"

"Black, if it's not too much trouble."

"Aww, does someone wanna look like me?" I smiled. "Okay, what about eye color?"

"Blue."

"Skin?"

"Slightly tanned, please."

"Build?"

"Perhaps around five feet eleven inches? And I would like to have… well, abs, ma'am." I raised one eyebrow.

"Jarvis, are you just trying to build the perfect Adonis here?"

"How often does one get the chance to design themselves?"

"Huh. Can't argue with you there." I looked over at the hologram Tony had been tweaking.

"How 'bout that?" He said, gesturing to the model.

"Oh dear god." I said.

"What?"

"I think I may die of a nosebleed."

"Somebody reads too much manga."

"Screw you, Tony."

"Uh-uh, that's for Pepper to do. Now let's get to work, shall we?" He ignored my strangled squeaking at that last remark, and went straight to work designing Jarvis's inner workings using the hologram. He swept his arms out, and it grew until it was life-size. He showed me how to work the system, and we got to work.

"So." I said as we circled around the hologram, trying to figure out the joint system. "Why the good mood?"

"Whaddyou mean why the good mood, I'm always in a good mood."

"Are you kidding me? Just a month or so ago you were in the foulest mood I've seen since pa decided to have a drinking contest with an Irishman." He snorted. "So, what gives?"

"Nothing. Nothing gives. I'm fine." I raised an eyebrow. "Fine. Fine! I can't resist that face, dammit!" He stepped over and pinched my cheek, to which the collar promptly started buzzing.

"Watch the hands, Tony."

"Got it." He moved over to the back of the model and started prodding at the spinal cord. He sighed. "Me and Pepper were having some problems, okay?"

"Pepper and I."

"What?"

"If you want to sound intelligent, then it's Pepper and I, not me and Pepper."

"Grammar Nazi." I snickered. "Do you want to hear the story or not?"

"Yeah, yeah. Continue."

"She was on me about the whole alcohol thing. She wanted me to quit cold turkey; I said no can-do. Eventually she said it was her or the booze."

"And what'd you choose?" He smirked.

"I'm eight days sober."

"Oh, good for you!" I said sarcastically.

"Hey, it's a start, alright?" All joking aside, I could tell he was trying hard. I'd never point it out to the guy, but I'd noticed his shaky hands, and the circles under his eyes from staying up late, trying to convince himself he could get to bed without a little sedative.

"Why'd she pick now to get on your back about it?" He scratched the back of his head.

"Something about how she didn't want her kids to have an alcoholic father?"

"But you're not even married."

"I know; women."

"Tell me about it." He raised his eyebrows at that last remark.

"I can't figure you out, Neverland."

"Yeah; Wendy, Neverland. It's my nickname for you. You like it?"

"No, no I don't. Why can't Pete be Neverland?"

"No, Pete's Spidey, short and simple." I sighed.

"What did you mean, you can't figure me out?"

"I mean, do you like guys or girls?"

"Both." I answered without thinking. "Wait… how did you notice?"

"I installed Jarvis aboard the helicarrier, right?" I nodded. "Jarvis sees all, and hears all. And, more importantly, reports all back to me." My eyes widened.

"Tony, you didn't." He smirked. He did that a lot.

"The spy and the stray. And, not five minutes after, you get busy shagging the good doctor. I gotta say, I'm impressed."

"It's over with Natasha, now. I hope you know that."

"Take a lesson from me, kid; don't do flings. Long-term or nothing. Someone always ends up getting hurt."

"Wise advice, from the playboy philanthropist."

"You left out genius and billionaire."

"I was emphasizing a point, Einstein."

"See? Even you admit it; genius." He walked around making adjustments to the feet.

"What're you doing?" I asked.

"Making them stronger."

"You're not making them stronger, just bigger. Here." I leaned down and emphasized the curve in the skeletal structure of the model's feet. "An arch is-"

"One of the strongest shapes in architecture, I know."

"I didn't go to four years of engineering school for nothing."

"Hey, kids." We heard Pepper from the elevator. She walked in with a tray of snacks.

"Pepper, what're you doing here?"

"Jarvis pointed out that it's four hours past lunch, and you two were probably so wrapped up in your work you forgot about eating."

"Jarvis?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Get out of my head."

"Yes, sir." Pepper set the tray down.

"Ooh, whaddyou got for me, babe?" Pepper folded her arms in front of her chest.

"Okay, first of all, I expect you to share with Wendy. She's been working just as hard as you have. And second, it's not like I just thought "oh, Tony's probably hungry I'll make him a gourmet five-course meal". You get ham sandwiches and iced tea." I grinned.

"Thanks, Potts."

"Call me Pepper." She smiled back. She stepped over to the model. "So this is what you were working on." She said. "Fine piece of work…" I looked over as I was biting into my sandwich, and saw her scanning the model up and down with covetous eyes.

"I know, right? I nearly died of a nosebleed when I first saw the thing."

"Manga fan?"

"Yup. You?"

"Oh, definitely. What do you read?"

"Hellsing, Death note, Bleach, stuff like that." I stepped over closer to her. "Keep a secret?" She nodded. "I'm a Fruits Basket nut."

"Me too! Have you read the last book yet?"

"Excuse me?" Tony said, mouth still full of sandwich. "Can you stop fangirling with my lab partner so we can get to work?"

"Chew and swallow, Tony, then talk."

"You understood me, didn't you?"

"Yes, but it's disgusting, and it's bad manners."

"Bad manners? Pepper, have you met me? I'm the king of polite… ness."

"Sentence got away from you, huh?"

"Yeah, yeah it did."

Pepper turned back to me. "I didn't think you would be into this kind of thing, Wendy. I always thought you were more of a weaponry kind of girl."

"Yeah, well, I went to college for engineering, so I know a few tricks."

"That's another thing." Tony said. "If you went to college for engineering, how'd you end up a mercenary?"

"Well, when I was a kid I loved building stuff, right? I used to nick tinkertoys off the neighbors and build castles and pulleys and stuff like that. But I also loved firearms, since I was little. I went to college for engineering, yeah, but one day a friend of mine, who was a mercenary at the time, invited me out to see how she operated. I was hooked."

"Aw, cute story." Tony said.

"Yeah; cute's the word."

"What are you making the skeleton out of?" We turned to see Pepper standing in front of the model, eyeing it critically.

"Steel, what else?" Tony said.

"Too heavy." She dismissed the idea as soon as it came up. "What about fiberglass?"

"Fiberglass?" Tony said, looking offended. "It's cheap! It's tacky, it's-"

"It's durable, lightweight, and relatively flexible. A good approximation for honest-to-goodness bone, don't you think?"

"But Pepper! I'm Tony Stark, I can afford better than fiberglass!"

"So what you're saying is you'd rather have his skeleton made of diamond so you can show off how rich you are?" He pouted.

"I hate you."

"You love me."

"I hate you."

"You love me." She leaned in close and whispered it into his ear, hands on his chest.

"Dammit, I do." He said. I saw Butterfingers in the corner turn away from the display, and chuckled.

"Hey, not in front of the kid, huh?" I said jokingly. That's when we heard an electronic noise come from Pepper's pocket. She pulled out a phone and checked the screen.

"Oh, great. I gotta go, guys."

"What's going on?" Tony asked.

"It's Stevenson again."

"Again? What does he want this time?"

"If I know Stevenson, your head on a silver platter. But don't worry, I'll take care of it. Bye, hun."

"Bye, Peps." She stepped into the elevator.

"Who's Stevenson?" I asked.

"A company as big as StarkTech tends to gobble up a lot of small businesses along the way. He's just one of the unfortunate ones."

"Don't you ever feel guilty? The whole one percent thing and all that?"

"Nah. The way I see it, you're either smart, or you're poor." I looked at him sideways.

"That's a really shitty thing to say, you know that, Tony?"

"Yeah, I know. What can I say, though? It's worked out so far." We worked on the model for a long time, tweaking this and that, fine-tuning systems.

"That's beautiful." I said, when we finally stepped back to admire our work.

"Beautiful," he said. "And _theoretical_. Just wait 'til we put it to the test; about seventy percent of these systems are gonna go kaput, and twenty percent are gonna go boom. Trust me, this'll take years to perfect."

"It'll be worth it, though. Right, Jarvis?"

"Yes, ma'am. You have no idea how grateful I am."

"You happy with the final product?"

"I couldn't be more so." I could hear the beaming in his voice.

"Well," Tony said, checking his watch. "It's eight at night. We might want to get you home." I pet Butterfingers again before stepping into the elevator with Tony. "So; how's the therapist going?" He said as we were riding up to the helicopter pad. I turned to him.

"You ask a lot of personal questions." I remarked.

"Hey, I'm paying for the guy, I at least want to know you're getting my money's worth."

"Dr. Donovan is a woman, thank you. And she's going fine." Since the whole vault thing, Fury had decided I needed a little… attitude adjustment. He'd insisted I start seeing a therapist, and Tony, for whatever reason, had decided to pay for it. It actually was going well. At first, I hadn't wanted to say a thing to her; we just sat there talking about stupid stuff like the weather, and what I had for breakfast. But eventually we started getting into the bigger issues. Marie, my mom, my life in S.H.I.E.L.D. I was actually starting to feel... gee, is there any other word for it? _Better_. Soon, Tony and I found ourselves up on the helicopter pad.

"Well, this is your stop." I walked up to the helicopter and climbed inside.

"Hey," I said. "Thanks for letting me help."

"Hey, it was your idea. But if anyone asks, I'm taking credit." I smiled.

"Jerk."

"I know. Fare thee well, and all that jazz." He waved me off as the door to the chopper closed, and I started on my way back to the helicarrier. Beneath all that bluster, Tony was actually a really nice guy. I'd have to remember that the next time I needed some extra cash.

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**Author's note: Yes, the grammar Nazi bug has been passed on! Yes, that is totally self-referential comedy, but it was too juicy to pass up. I'm not done with it, either. *Evil laugh***


	17. Chapter 17: Another Year Wiser

**Author's note: EEEE reviews! A very special thanks to one Narwhal-Riding-Alien, who has been a big supporter for a while now. Just a little heads up; like Tony said, it'll be years before Jarvis's body is up and running. But that doesn't mean you won't see him in, say, the sequel... *hint hint*. Yes, I know. I'm not even done with The Stray and I'm already planning the sequel. Obsessive, but that's me! Anyway, read and review, as always. If you didn't notice, (and maybe you didn't, maybe it was just me) the website was down for a while today, so I couldn't update as early as I could, but... here ya go!**

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About a month later, I awoke to the sound of the S.H.I.E.L.D buzzer going off somewhere amidst the chaos that is my room. After searching around groggily for a few minutes, I found it in the pocket of one of my pants laying on the floor, and promptly shut it off. Fury could wait. I looked at the clock; it was nine thirty. I had to stop sleeping in. Then I walked over to the closet, and rifled through my clothes. Eventually I settled on a pair of black skinny jeans and black flats, and a black, lacy top over a black camisole. And some electric blue lipstick; just for color. As I was walking out the door, I caught a glimpse of the calendar on the wall; May fifteenth. It was my birthday.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you!" Tammy sung sarcastically inside my head. "Do you see anyone celebrating?"

"Like anyone here even knows it's my birthday."

"Exactly; because they never asked. Another year of lighting a candle on top of one sad, little cupcake." I tried my best to shut her out. Usually it helps to think of a really catchy song. Not even Tammy can overcome the power of "I Heard a Rumor". Soon I found myself in Fury's office.

"Trescott, you're here." He was in that pose again, looking theatrically out the window with his back turned. He turned to face me. "I've got a little job for you."

"A mission?" I said eagerly.

"Not quite. You see, we'll be landing in Wisconsin soon, picking up a few new recruits. I need the place spic and span by the time they get here, specifically the mess hall."

"And you want me to do the spic-and-spanning?"

"If you want to put it that way, yes. You know where the cleaning supplies are?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm on it." I left the room and headed for the mess hall. But when I opened the door?

"Surprise!" Everyone, and I mean _everyone_ jumped out at once. The place was decorated with streamers and balloons and everything, and music was playing and everyone was smiling, which should have tipped me off, but no. I immediately got into a fighting stance, ready to take down my attackers.

"Whoa, easy there!" I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Bruce. "You act like you've never been to a surprise party before!"

"A party?" I said.

"What's it look like, a wake?" Wade said. I burst out laughing.

"I thought it was an ambush! I was ready to take you all down! How did you even know it's my birthday?"

"You have it circled on your calendar." Bruce said. "I noticed the last time I was in your room."

"Enough talking!" Wade said. "Let's party!" The whole party was basically a mass of concentrated chaos. It seemed like they had rifled through my CD collection; the songs that were playing were from some of my favorite albums, and I danced my heart out in the middle of the crowd.

"You're horrible!" Pete laughed as I flailed my arms around in what might have almost passed for a dance.

"I know!" I said. I didn't care. I smiled when Bruce came up to dance with me. He was just sort of moving side to side, wiggling his arms in this awkward sort of motion. "Bruce?" I said.

"Yeah?"

"That's sad." His face fell.

"I'm sorry, I don't know how to dance."

"It's easy! You just gotta stop worrying about what everyone else thinks of you. Let yourself go and move to the beat!" A smile danced on the corner of his lips, as his moves began to get bigger and more adventurous. When he finally settled into the rhythm, it turned out he was pretty good.

"Whoo!" Clint shouted. "Go, Bruce!" Wait… if Clint was here, then… yup. There she was; Natasha was standing in the corner, watching the festivities. I was glad she had come, but at the same time I really, really wished she hadn't. Now neither of us had any excuse not to talk to each other.

"CAKE!" Wade shouted. Well, except for that. Pete and Wade brought the cake out together, each holding one end; it had to be big to feed the whole party. Everyone sang happy birthday, even Jarvis, and they set it down on one of the tables. The cake… it was something else. They had really done their research, because it was shaped perfectly like a 44. Caliber magnum revolver. Silver.

"It's Cassie!" I said delightedly.

"We thought you'd appreciate it." It was one of the happiest days of my life. Knowing that everyone actually cared enough to help me celebrate that day? Bruce was always trying to convince me that I was liked, but this was proof. I saw Tony studying the cake out of the corner of my eye.

"What're you doing?" I asked.

"Counting the candles." He replied. "You're twenty-six?" I nodded. "Bruce, you're old enough to be her dad!" A red tint spread across Bruce's cheeks. "Ooh, you cradle robber, you!" Pepper came up behind him and pinched his ear. "Gah! Pepper, what?"

"Don't ruin this for her." She said harshly. She turned toward me and smiled. "Go ahead, Wendy! Make a wish!" I smiled, and turned toward the cake. I made my wish, and blew hard. Everyone cheered, and the cake was gone in all of five minutes. As I stood and ate my cake, it brought me back to my eleventh birthday. My pa had made a chocolate cake. I didn't have any friends to invite, so it was just big enough for him and me. I remember tearing apart the wrapping paper on the box he gave me and finding, inside, my very own BB gun.

"Pa, this's amazin'!" I'd said, standing on my tiptoes to give him a hug. We spent the whole day laughing and playing. He'd do this thing, where he'd be my slave for the day. With me, that basically meant he was stuck in a marathon game of hide-and-seek until I decided it was bedtime. The very next day, I decided to go out and give my new gun a try. I tried it out on the neighborhood bully, Kevin. His mom wasn't too happy about that.

"What parent in their right mind gives their daughter a gun and then lets her loose on the world?" She had shouted, trying to comfort her crying son. I remember feeling nothing but hatred for that little tattletale, vowing to make him pay later.

"Now, ma'am, let's look at this rationally. She shot 'im from a safe distance, first of all, all he'll need is a band-aid and a kiss better and he'll be fine. Second, ah reckon he was askin' for it. You've seen the way he beats up on the neighborhood kids like he's got the right. Now, what were you plannin' on doin' about that?" She was speechless. She just left in a huff that day, but that argument eventually led to pa and me having to move out to the new house, the one situated basically in the middle of nowhere. I could tell he wasn't happy about it, but he always stood by his decision to stand up for me. I was never so sure.

"How much cake did you have, Loki?" I heard Rose say after the platter was cleared. She was sitting next to her husband, who was slumped down in a chair, looking a bit worse for wear.

"I don't know, two pieces?" She raised one eyebrow. "Three?" he tried again. She wasn't having any of it. "Five?"

"Oh, that was clever." She said.

"But it was good!" Loki protested.

"I hope you have a plan to burn all that off."

"Oh, I do." I heard her squeak at his tone. Those two…

"Sometimes I think they do it just to annoy everyone else." I turned to see Pete behind me, looking disgusted at the Tyler's banter.

"Oh, like you're any better." I said.

"What do you mean?" As if to prove my point, Wade appeared behind him with his mask pulled up, and pulled him into a kiss. I chuckled. I guess things were better with them, then. I walked over to the snack table and absentmindedly munched on a few oreos. My eyes wandered around the room until they settled on Natasha, still standing with her back against the wall. Clint had tried a few times to drag her into the thick of the party, but she was stubborn. She was looking down at the floor, rubbing her hands. Or, more specifically, her ring finger. So that's it, I thought. I walked over to her.

"Nice ring." I said. She looked up. "When did he propose?"

"Early April." She said. Not too long before our little fling. "I'm sorry." She continued. "I panicked, and I needed to get it out of my system, and I hurt you in the process." She looked me straight in the eye when she said it.

"Hey, s'awright. We both got something out of it, huh?" She looked confused. "I know now that I'm meant to be with Bruce, plain and simple. And you? Still got any doubts?" She shook her head. "You know what to do, then. Get out there!" She straightened up from the wall, and went to join Clint in the party. "Hey!" I said after her. She turned. "Friends?"

"Friends." She said. Then she walked off to find her fiancé. Huh… I made friends with the Black Widow. Go, me!

"Happy birthday, Wendy." I turned and saw Steve standing to my left. He wasn't wearing his suit today, which was a sight in itself. Just jeans and a t-shirt.

"Ooh, street clothes. Bold choice."

"Tony pointed out that I might want to wash the suit once in a while." That didn't sound good.

"Wait… is Tony the one washing the suit?"

"Do I really look that stupid?"

"Well…" He chuckled.

"You don't like me, do you?" He said.

"We're from different worlds, Steve."

"I wouldn't say so. We're both warriors, aren't we?"

"Yeah, but there's one key difference; you do what you do for the good of others. I do it to pay the bills."

"I'm not so sure. How long has it been since you actually got paid for a job?"

"I haven't actually been _paid_ for anything since Fury caught me."

"But do you still take pride in your work?" I thought. Yeah… come to think of it, it had been nice, knowing I was doing some good in the world. "It feels good, doesn't it? Helping others." I smiled.

"Stop making so much sense, dammit." I punched him lightly on the arm, and he smiled back.

"For the record, I don't agree with Fury. Kicking you off the mission wasn't the right decision."

"Thanks, Steve. That means a lot."

"Gotcha!" I was swept off my feet by an eager Bruce, who carried me into the middle of the floor.

"What are you doing?" I half-squealed half-laughed as he plopped me down on the floor and took my hands.

"Dancing with my girlfriend!" He said. The music switched to something a bit more… classic.

"Is this the jitterbug?" I laughed.

"Now that's more my style!" Steve said, moving to the middle of the floor. He took the hand of agent Hill, who, surprisingly, offered no objection. Soon everyone was dancing, some better than others.

"What is that?" Rose laughed at Thor, as she danced with Loki.

"I am not familiar with this particular style of Midgardian dance!" He said, looking completely frazzled by the steps.

"Here." Jane took his hand. "I'll lead, alright Thor?" He nodded, and stumbled along with her. It was a good day, all in all. When the party was finally over and everyone else had either gone home or left to take care of other responsibilities, Bruce and I were the ones left behind, cleaning up.

"You don't have to do this, you know." He said as I gathered up the streamers into one big handful and stuffed them in the trash. "It's your party, you shouldn't have to clean up after it."

"No, I want to help. Besides, we're supposed to be picking up some new recruits soon, right? Unless that was just a lie from Fury to get me in here."

"No, it's true. One sounds really promising. I got a hold of her file; Joan Everwood?"

"Everwood? What is she, an elf?" He chuckled.

"I don't know, maybe."

"Hello, I'm agent Everwood, and this is my partner, agent Legolas!" I said. We both laughed, and I sidled over to the snack table, which still had some food on it, and grabbed a cupcake and a bunch of potato chips.

"Hungry?" He said.

"Yeah, I guess." I stuck one of the chips in the cupcake and took a bite. He looked at me sideways. "What?" I said. "It's good!"

"Can I try?"

"No!" I said, shielding the cupcake. "My cupcake! My precious!" He broke out into another fit of laughter. I grinned at his reaction as I grabbed a pickle.

"Now pickles?" He said when he finally calmed down.

"I wanted a pickle." I said, as if this wasn't blatantly obvious already. Just to annoy him, I dipped the pickle in the frosting and took a bite. "Mmmm, good!"

"You're insane!" He said, still smiling.

"You're just figuring that out now?" I said. "Now kiss my sugary, pickle-y lips!" He did. I couldn't have asked for a better birthday.

The next day, I woke up, and immediately ran to the bathroom and puked my guts out. I definitely made the wrong decision in eating all that cake last night. And pickles. And chips.

"Well, at least it didn't go to your thighs." Tammy said. I wiped my mouth off and checked my buzzer; looked like Fury hadn't called lately. So, bored, I went to find Bruce. I checked the lab first; he wasn't there. Then the rec room; nope.

"Hey, Jarvis?" I asked.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Where's Bruce?"

"He is in director Fury's office at the moment." I frowned. What was he doing there? Fury had said he didn't want him on the Charlotte case, it was a stealth operation. I decided to check it out. I walked quickly over to the office. The door was open, and I walked right on through. All the Avengers were gathered in the office, Fury included, around a woman in the middle of the room.

"Ah, Wendy!" She said, smiling. "So glad you could join us." The woman had long black hair. Black eyes. And blood red lips.

"Fury, what is she doing here?" I growled. He looked confused.

"Wendy, this is director Everwood. She's here to replace me."

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**Author's note: Oooh, cliffhangers! I'll bet you hate me right now, huh? As you can probably tell, we're coming up on some pretty heavy stuff, so hold onto something and come along for the ride!**


	18. Chapter 18: Mommy Dearest

**Author's note: This is my do-or-die chapter here. So please review, otherwise I might explode without knowing if it totally bombed! *Crosses fingers* Enjoy!**

* * *

This was not happening. It couldn't be. Charlotte was here? On the helicarrier? It looked like she already had her spell over everyone. Thoughts raced as I tried to figure out what to do.

"Fury, that's Charlotte." I said. He looked at me, blankly. "This is Charlotte, the woman we've been searching for for months. My mother, your ex! It's her!"

"Ah, you've been talking to Eli?" Charlotte said.

"Yeah. Yeah I have. Hello, mother. What've you done to my friends?" Everyone was just standing around, looking contented and completely oblivious to the threat right in front of them. "Bruce, tell me you see this?"

"Oh, he won't dear." Charlotte said. "I've got them all under my control. If I asked them to follow each other off a cliff like lemmings, they would."

"And what about me, huh?" I said through gritted teeth as the collar buzzed. "Why don't you have me all zonked out like them?"

"Oh, dearest, you're my daughter. I couldn't even if I tried." She moved with deadly grace over to one of the computers. "Now, let's see. I could overthrow more than a few empires from this thing. What do you think; China, Britain? Ooh, maybe Germany. Get them off their high horse."

"Why are you doing this?!" I shouted. She turned, her expression innocent and uncomprehending as if I had just asked why the sky is blue.

"I'm doing it for you, Wendy. All this, it's for you. I'm building a better world, you see? One where you don't have to struggle like you have, killing people for pay just to get by." It struck me hard. She was doing this all for me. She thought she was helping. "Come on. Help me. We could do this together, for old time's sake." She reached a hand out to me.

"No." I said.

"What?"

"No! Ma, you don't have ta do this!" My twang was coming back. "You're a good person, you just got dealt a bad card! Let us help you!" She looked hurt as she withdrew her hand.

"I see you still have the twang?" She said, smiling sadly.

"When ah need to, yeah."

"You really don't want this?" I shook my head, and she sighed. "Well, I suppose there's nothing for it. Captain? Thor?" The men perked at the mention of their names. "This woman is very dangerous, and she's trying to harm me. Could you restrain her, please?" All at once I saw them both coming for me, and I made a mad dash for the doors, sprinting through them and out into the halls. "Follow her, would you?" I heard ma's voice from behind me. Damn, I was calling her ma now… I ran until I came to a wall with a vent in it, which I quickly popped open and climbed inside. I waited, trying to get my heavy breathing under control, as Thor and Steve ran past my hiding spot. They stopped and looked around for me for a bit. My heart was beating so hard I was sure they'd hear it. But they eventually gave up and returned to the office, leaving me alone in the vents with my thoughts. God, this was all wrong… why couldn't I have just had a normal life? With a mother who wasn't a psychopath, a father who wasn't a bounty hunter. Everything I had done so far, every decision, had led up to this moment; what to do about my psychopathic, megalomaniacal mother. Tears started welling up at the corners of my eyes. I knew what I had to do. She needed to go down, that was the only way. But… she was my mother, god dammit, and even though I'd only just met her for the first time in twenty years, I still loved her.

"Ms. Trescott?" I jolted at the voice. Then I realized it was Jarvis, speaking in hushed tones so he couldn't be heard by the others.

"Jarvis? She didn't get you, too?"

"I don't believe her power extends to inorganic matter. Ms. Trescott, do you have any sort of plan?" I shook my head.

"All ah know is that she needs to be stopped. What about you?"

"Well, ma'am, do you still have the blueprints for the collar memorized?" My eyes widened.

"How…?"

"I see everything, ma'am. I saw them under your mattress."

"That's a little creepy."

"Terribly sorry, ma'am."

"Did you have a plan?"

"Well, ma'am, you could turn down the voltage on the collar and attack." I thought about it.

"No. Even with the collar down, ah couldn't take down all the Avengers at once. And that's what ah'm goin' to have to deal with once ah'm in there."

"You could attempt to break the others from her control, first?"

"Like that's gonna work. Ah've read her file, and ah'm guessing so've you. She's strong; the only thing that breaks her spell is her command."

"We are out of options, ma'am." I leaned my head against the lining of the vent. We really were screwed this time. Charlotte was right; she could do just about anything she wanted with S.H.I.E.L.D and the Avengers under her control. There was no stopping her.

"Wait a minute…" A thought came into my head. "Jarvis, do any of these vents lead out into the office?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Can you hack the intercom?"

"Pardon?"

"Can you hack the intercom for me? Please?"

"I'll do my best. May I ask what you are planning?"

"It'd be best not to." I heard a few odd electronic noises, and finally the crackle of the intercom.

"You can say whatever you wish, ma'am, they can hear you."

"Good. Ma? If you can hear me, this is your last warning; surrender. Surrender, and there'll be a happy endin' for everyone, ah promise. But if ah walk into that room and ah don't see a white flag, it's war." I signaled Jarvis to cut the intercom off. My eyes burned with tears as I crawled my way toward the office, with Jarvis's direction. Even Tammy had the decency to shut her trap for once. I found the vent that led out to the office, and peered out through it.

"The weapons are primed and ready, Director." That was Tony's voice.

"Good. And the ultimatums?"

"All have been delivered." Fury said.

"Very good. Whaddyou say, boys and girls? China first?"

"Sounds good to me." Steve said. He had returned with Thor in tow.

"Ah, I see you've returned without her?" Charlotte said, twitching. Huh… I guess it wasn't just the collar. "That's unacceptable. Completely unacceptable. You realize that?"

"Terribly sorry, ma'am." Steve said.

"She escaped us, Lady Charlotte. We had no choice but to return."

"This is all wrong." Charlotte leaned over one of the desks, her hair hanging down over her face. "It's all wrong, all of it. She was supposed to rule by my side… my princess, my Wendy. The only thing I ever did right…" My heart went out to her a little. The only thing she ever did right? Heh… She must have had a pretty shitty life if I was the highlight. I couldn't wait any longer. I fumbled around the collar until I found the hatch in the side. I opened it, took out my nose-ring, and used it to make a few… adjustments. Then I busted through the vent and into the room. Everyone turned toward me, and Steve and Thor made a beeline to restrain me.

"Wait!" Charlotte held up a hand to stop them, and they froze in their tracks. She turned toward me, smiling warmly. "Wendy, you've finally come around!" She said. "You won't regret it, darling. Not when we're sitting on our thrones together, the world at our feet." Now she was closer, I could get a better look. Behind the mask, behind all that beauty, she was empty. Her eyes were glassy, and her expression… it wasn't real. I don't know how to explain it, it just… it wasn't real at all. It would make me feel a little less guilty, then. All at once, I ran at her, my mother, and tackled her to the ground, shocking us both. I had turned up the voltage. Bursts of white hot pain shot throughout my entire body, as hundreds of thousands of volts coursed through us both, my muscles spasming wildly as my vision began to go black.

"Hey." Before me was a tall, skeletal figure in a dark cloak. It… she? Spoke with a feminine voice. Way to kick the stereotypes, Death.

"Ah'm ready." I said.

"Uh-uh, no dice. It isn't your time, kid; sorry." She passed me by and took the hand of my mother, who was standing beside me.

"I don't want to go." She said, sounding, somehow, distressed and peaceful at the same time.

"I know, hun. But everyone's got their time. Yours already came once, as I recall." Ma looked sheepish.

"It wasn't my fault." She said.

"Oh, tell me about it. Tricky bastards, necromancers. It's time to go now, alright? Say goodbye to your daughter." She walked toward me. I opened my arms. And we buried each other in a hug. A real, honest-to-goodness, mother-daughter hug.

"I'm sorry things weren't different." She said. I just held her, silently, until Death got impatient.

"Sorry girls, but I'm on a bit of a schedule." She said, tapping her foot. I let ma go, and watched as she took Death's hand, and slipped away into the darkness. "One thing." Death said as she began to disappear. "Say hello to Wade for me, would you, Wendy? Tell him no hard feelings."

"Am I going to hell?" I heard ma ask as they faded further into the distance.

"Not exactly. There's a nice lady called Hela I'm gonna take you to meet. We'll see from there." Everything started to fall away, and suddenly I was on the floor of the office, and everything hurt, and someone was leaning over me and crying. I lifted my head.

"Bruce?" He looked up at me, his eyes red and puffy with tears.

"Wendy?" He said, disbelieving.

"Hey," I murmured weakly. "Who died?" He threw his arms around my neck and held me tight, and I put my own arms around his back. Everyone else stood around me, shocked and disbelieving.

"Lady Wendy?" Thor said from above me. He and Steve were both looking guilty as hell. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said, still caught in Bruce's embrace. "I feel like I was run over by a freight train, though."

"Terribly sorry about…" He trailed off.

"It's okay, goldilocks." I smiled. "It wasn't your fault." Bruce pulled away to look at me.

"You died." He said.

"I almost died." I corrected.

"No, you died, Wendy. I checked your pulse, you were _dead_ for three minutes! Wendy, never do anything like that ever again!" He pulled me back into his arms. I looked over his shoulder at the dead body of my mother, lying on the ground. At least I knew she went peacefully. I couldn't stay lost in my thoughts forever, though. Everyone else started to crowd around, and soon I was in the middle of a record-sized group hug.

"I'm okay!" I said. "Everyone, I'm okay!" Honestly, I wasn't. I had just killed my mother within minutes of meeting her for the first time in decades. I had just died for all of three minutes. And I was feeling dangerously weak. But having everyone crowd around me like this wasn't helping the situation. I remembered something. "Oh, hey, Wade?" I said.

"Yeah?" He said from his hard-earned position with his arms around my right side.

"I've got a message from Death. She says hello. And no hard feelings." That's when everything went black; again.

A jolt of energy was sent through my body, and I sat up fast, breath fast and heart beating like mad, but feeling better than I ever had. I had just enough time to register that I was sitting in a hospital bed with IVs all over my arms before the lights began to dim, then go out.

"Wendy?!" I heard Bruce's panicked voice from the dark.

"Bruce? What's going on?"

"Hold on- ow!"

"You okay, hun?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He felt his way around in the dark until he got to my bed, and the lights came back on.

"Jarvis, what was that?" I asked.

"A momentary blackout, ma'am. Are you feeling well?

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine."

"Oh, thank god." Bruce said. He threw his arms around me, and I felt a weird tingling and he drew back in shock, almost as if he'd been slapped.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, just…" He cautiously reached out a finger towards me, lightly brushing it against my arm. He snapped his arm back.

"Wendy!?" I heard Wade's voice from outside the room. He came rushing in, everyone else after him. Even Fury came to check up on me.

"Hey, guys! What… what happened?"

"You defeated your mother." Fury said, matter-of-factly. "You died for about three minutes. Then you woke up. Then you blacked out again. You're in the helicarrier's infirmary, recovering."

"What am I recovering for? I feel fine!" I sat up in the bed. "Great, actually. Can somebody get these IVs out?" That's when I noticed Bruce was still standing at the foot of the bed, looking like he'd seen a ghost. "Uh, Bruce, are you alright?"

"Tony?" He said, turning toward Tin Man. "Come over here a second." Tony obliged.

"Hey, Wendy, I'm glad you're alright. You gave us quite a scare with the whole," He feigned electrocution with a few theatrical noises. I gave him my best "I am not amused" look. He just smirked. Glad you're feeling better. Bruce, what the?" Bruce had taken his hand and moved it toward my own.

"Touch her. Go on." He said.

"Um… as much as I'd like to, Brucie, that seems a little-"

"Not like that, just her hand! I need to confirm something." Tony raised one eyebrow. Then touched my hand with his finger.

"Ow! What the hell?" He drew back like Bruce had. "You shocked me!"

"Um… sorry?"

"How many cats have you pet today?"

"Um, none." I chuckled nervously. "What's going on here?"

"Lady Wendy." Thor said. I looked up.

"Yeah? What is it?"

"I am overjoyed that you have fully recovered, but there is something you should know." I looked at him expectantly, and he continued. "Mjolnir is yearning for you."

"What?" I said dryly.

"Perhaps this electric quality of yours is not due to the petting of cats." What could they be talking about? I mean, who was I, Electro? I really didn't need all this, not now.

"Guys, this isn't the time for jokes. In case you didn't notice, I've had a rough time of it."

"Well, I suppose there's no other way." Loki said. I didn't even have time to respond before he pushed Wade straight into me. I was fine, but Wade? Not so much. He jolted and spasmed and showed basically every sign of electrocution in the book before he finally fell to the ground.

"Wade!" I panicked, jumping out from the bed. "Omigod, are you okay?" He looked up at me groggily, and said;

"Heh. My brain feels smooth." Everyone looked on in astonishment. Except for Fury, who calmly said;

"You might want to get that checked out."


	19. Chapter 19: The Copy Machine

Everyone watched as my mother's coffin was lowered into the ground. She had asked to be buried in a cemetery in her hometown; Remagen, Germany. Apparently she had been born here, then raised in New Jersey. Who ever knew I had German heritage? The Avengers were all here. As were all the S.H.I.E.L.D agents who could make it. All were dressed in black. Even Thor and Loki had traded their Asgardian armor for black suits. Normally ma's body would have been kept, for scientific purposes. But I guess Fury figured he should cut me a break. She was being treated as a family member, not as an enemy. And for one day, one merciful day, we all forgot what she had done to us, and mourned properly. The cemetery was beautiful; ancient-looking, with trees shading us and vines growing over some of the older gravestones. Some of the markers were hundreds of years old.

"I'm sorry." Bruce said when the ceremony was finally over. He'd stayed by my side the entire day. Everyone had consolations to offer. And why not? Basically everyone in the Avengers had lost someone in the past. Steve lost his girl. Tony lost his dad. Wade lost both his parents. Pete lost his uncle. They understood. But this was different, right? I shouldn't feel bad about this. I had only known the woman for the first six years of my life, after all, and she had turned out to be a perfect psychopath. But I couldn't help but wonder what things would have been like if she had stuck around to raise me, got herself together. Dammit… I swore I wouldn't cry at this thing. I hid my face, discreetly wiping my tears away. Bruce noticed, but he didn't say anything. He knew how I hated to look weak.

"Definitely necromancy." Loki had said after he'd examined the body. "It's discreet. No stitches, no rotten bits. But definitely no soul. Not a proper one, anyhow." To be honest, it made me feel a bit better. At least I could convince myself it had been a mercy killing. But Loki wasn't done. "This is impressive work. Truly one-in-a-million. And work like this doesn't just surface once and then disappear. It could be that our fight's only just begun." I had barely heard him, looking at my mother's body there on the cold, hard, metal table, trying my best to forget that I had put her there.

I walked down the path to the cars we were taking out of the cemetery. Fury had had our pilots land the helicopters we took down a few miles away from the cemetery, and rightly so. I hesitated before I touched the handle on the car door. Bruce saw, and opened it for me. As we were settling in, my hand brushed against his, and he jolted.

"Sorry." I said. He just gave me a little smile, and took my hand, flinching a bit, but not letting go. I couldn't help but smile back. We rode the entire way back to the helicarrier largely in silence. We didn't really need to say anything. As I looked out the window at the scenery, I reached absentmindedly for my collar, and was saddened to find that it wasn't there. Of course it wasn't; it didn't have any real effect anymore, after all. Is it weird that I missed it?

"Alright, kids." Fury said when Bruce and I arrived at his office a day later. We had been given a brief mourning period, and now it was back to business. He had decided to put me under a scanner to see what was going on with my newfound… abilities? Honestly, I wanted to know what was going on too. But when I got to the lab…

"What the hell is that?" I said. I was staring at an uncomfortable-looking metal table underneath what looked like a giant copy-machine.

"This is the H.I.P.S, or High Intensity Penetrative Scanner."

"That doesn't sound good. At all."

"Don't worry, it's perfectly harmless as long as you're wearing a lead jacket."

"Will I be?"

"No, those're for us." I scowled. "I'm joking, Trescott. You'll be fine; climb on."

"You'll be okay, I promise." Bruce said. He kissed my hand as I lay down on the table, and he and Fury took up station at a computer screen a few feet away.

"Why are you even here, Fury?" I asked. It didn't seem like something he'd want to waste his time on.

"I'm the only one in this place who knows how to use this thing. Only one I trust, anyway. Here we go."He pressed a few keys, and the scanner-thingy started moving slowly down my body, shining a blue light as it went.

"Are you sure this won't give me, like, radiation poisoning?" I said as it went. Something occurred to me; "I won't turn green, will I?" Bruce chuckled a bit.

"This machine doesn't use radiation at all, Wendy." He said. "From what the Director here has told me, it's a technology that S.H.I.E.L.D has been developing for years to be a safe, effective alternative to X-ray. We'll be able to see literally everything that makes you tick." Soon the machine was done, and it shut itself off with a beep. An image came up on the huge screen on the wall. It was my figure, all right, but it was blue, and skeletal. Different areas were different colors, some red, some yellow, some green. I presumed that meant something.

"I thought so." Fury said.

"What? What is it?"

"Wendy; you are now officially powered by electricity."

"I'm what?"

"She's what?" Bruce questioned at the same time.

"You're basically one big conductor. When you shocked Charlotte, something must have happened to cause the electricity to integrate with your body rather than shut it down."

"So… I'm living electricity?"

"Not quite. You can conduct it, and possibly even generate it to an extent, but you aren't electricity itself. What I can't figure out is how it happened."

"Oh no." Bruce said. I turned to see him with his head in his hands, looking guilty as hell.

"Bruce?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you know what this is?" I said it firmly but gently, trying to coax him out.

"Do you remember the super-conductive fluid I asked you to apply?"

"Yeah?" I was pretty sure I knew where he was going with this.

"Remember I said it wouldn't affect organic matter?" I nodded. "I was wrong." I sighed.

"Well, will it wear off?"

"It's meant to last the lifetime of the appliance…" I threw up my hands.

"Great, so I'm an appliance now!"

"I am so, so sorry!" He said frantically, hands clasped and eyes begging for forgiveness.

"It's okay, it's okay." I said. "I don't really mind, to be honest."

"Really?" He said as I hugged him.

"Of course not! Now I'm an official superhero!"

"So you're a hero, now?" He smirked. I smiled back.

"Dammit, you got me." I said.

"Wait…" He looked like he'd just realized something.

"What is it?"

"You didn't shock me this time."

"Of course she didn't." Fury said. "Excuse the analogy, but the buzz has worn off."

"What do you mean?"

"Unless I'm wrong, which I'm not, when Wendy blacked out earlier it was because she needed a charge." Bruce's face lit up, suddenly understanding.

"That means when the lights went in the hospital, it was her draining the power!"

"Exactly." Bruce was on a roll now.

"So in the beginning, immediately after the recharge, she was basically a live, unprotected wire. But as her levels return to what we can assume is the normal, her state gets closer to "insulated"!"

"Um, boys?" I crossed my arms. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk about me like I'm a science project."

"But this is fascinating!" Bruce was smiling from ear to ear. "You're a human being powered by electricity, Wendy! I've never dealt with anything like this before!"

"Well, fascinating or not, I've got better things to do. Good luck, you two." Fury said as he walked out the door. "Oh, and; congratulations."

"Congratulations?" I said. "What, about my powers?" Bruce didn't answer. He was too busy staring at the screen. "Bruce?" I waved a hand in front of his face. "Earth to Bruce? What do you see?"

He swallowed nervously, then turned to me.

"Wendy… you're pregnant."

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**Author's Note: I know, I know, short chapter. But the epic cliffhanger more than makes up for it, am I right? You hate me right about now, huh? Well, worry not; for chapter twenty will come soon! **


	20. Chapter 20: Wait, I'm What?

**Author's note: Yes, our hero Wendy Trescott is preggers, folks! Congrats to those of you who saw it coming. The pickles and cupcakes made it a little obvious, huh? (Not to mention the whole puking episode) You didn't think I'd end when the villain was taken care of, did you? So sit back, enjoy the ride, read and review! **

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"I'm… what?" I couldn't have heard what I thought I heard. I couldn't be… pregnant. Could I?"

"Do you see those two dim red spots?" I nodded. "Twins." Something caught in my throat.

"Twins?" I repeated. He nodded grimly. "Twins!? But how?"

"Wendy, do I really have to?"

"No, no! But… it was our first time together! What are the chances?"

"Apparently, pretty good." There was a moment of silence as we both searched desperately for something to say. Something to make it okay, to make the problem go away. Or at least to make the moment a little less awkward. "Wendy?" Bruce finally said. I turned toward him, and he took my hand, holding it firmly. "We're going to have to make a decision." I knew exactly what he meant.

"But… I don't want to kill them. Won't they feel it?" He shook his head.

"It's too early. We wouldn't have even found out this early on if we hadn't had you under the scanner."

"Wait… are they okay, after the whole electrocution thing?"

"The screen shows they're alive. They must have absorbed the conductive fluid when you did, so, for now, they're alive and well."

"Well… do you want kids?"

"Of course. I always have, it's just that the circumstances are…"

"Less than ideal?"

"Exactly. I'd want my children to have a normal life, Wendy. In a house on the ground, with friends, and schoolmates. And think about it. What if the Hulk is genetic? What then?" I thought about all the little "quirks" that ran in my family. The blackouts. The bloodlust. The schizophrenia. Although, come to think of it, I hadn't heard from Tammy since the incident with ma. Maybe I scared her away? But that was neither here nor there. Bruce and I decided to take a little time apart to think about it. So that's how I found myself in the training room, beating up on mechanical dummies. I sure hoped this wasn't bad for the babies, because I was really going at it. I punched and kicked until the dummy I was using broke, and I threw it on the pile in the corner.

"Ms. Trescott, it might be wise not to overexert yourself."

"I'm fine, Jarvis." I said as I pulled another dummy out of the closet. "See? I haven't even broken a sweat." I wasn't lying, either; I have impressive stamina. And the dummies were less than a challenge. They were still fun to beat up on, though. There was so much to think about. I guess it explained the pickles and cupcakes. (Punch) And the daily puking. (Punch) Come to think of it… yeah. I'd be about six and a half weeks along by now. (Kick, punch, uppercut) Would kids really be a good idea? I mean, I could barely handle the triplets for forty-five minutes. (Right hook) I mean, yeah, I _wanted_ kids, but I didn't know if I could give them the life they deserved. (Roundhouse kick.) The dummy collapsed on the floor, and I picked it up to drag it into the pile.

"And, just what is the reason for your apparent vendetta against robot-kind?" I turned to see Loki leaning against the doorway, in street clothes, no less. Just jeans and a green t-shirt… that was weird.

"None of your business, Loki." He raised one eyebrow.

"You seem to have lost your edge, Wendy. What, no insults? No name calling? No offhanded reference to my helmet?"

"Not in the mood." I answered simply as I set up another dummy.

"You wouldn't make a bad mother." I stopped in my tracks, and turned to face him.

"How did you find out?"

"Oh, I knew before you did. Magic, remember?"

"So, what, you've been scanning me or something?"

"No, simply intuition. It's the same way I know you're having doubts about keeping it."

"Them. Twins." He looked surprised. "What, you didn't divine that with your pixie dust or whatever?" He chuckled.

"I did not. And I don't use pixie dust, just to make that clear." I turned back away and started destroying yet another dummy, tuning him out to focus on my thoughts. I should have been more careful, dammit. Now I didn't know what to do. "The triplets weren't planned, either." I stopped.

"What?" I said.

"Exactly what I said. To be honest, if Rose hadn't gotten pregnant, I wouldn't have thought I'd be up to the challenge of raising three Magical-Asgardian-Jotun-Bad-Wolf children." Now that I thought about it, it did seem like a lot to handle. "But here we are, almost two years later, and the children are alright, and we're alright, and most importantly we're all happy." Maybe he was right. Maybe we could do it. I mean, I'd always wanted kids. It's just that now it felt so real. But the next thing Loki said is what sent me on my way. "And of course you would have help."

"What do you mean?" I said, turning to him.

"You've seen how well liked you are among the team. We would all pitch in, myself and Rose included. Finances, babysitting, things of that nature. Your children would have the biggest, most powerful family in the world; the Avengers." Somehow that last sentence filled me with hope. I knew Loki wasn't exactly the nicest person in the world, but he seemed to have a soft spot for me, and these talks always left me feeling better. I started off toward the door; I had to find Bruce.

"Thanks." I said with a smile as I left. I marched through the halls until I got to the lab. Just as I had thought, he was there, sitting on top of one of the desks looking lost in thought.

"Wendy?" He said, surprised as he looked up to see me. "Wendy, what-"

"We can do it." I interrupted him. I put my hands on the desk on either side of him, and looked into his eyes. "We can start a family. We can buy a house, a real one, and they can go to a proper school, and they'll have the coolest family in the world because you know the Avengers will want to help too." He looked shocked. I put my hand on his cheek, smiling. "Can't you see it? Two little adorable monsters running through the house? And so what if they turn green, or black out? Because they'll have the one thing we didn't until it was too late; proper help." I watched as a smile began to grow across his face.

"Alright." He said as he threw his arms around me. "Alright! We can do this!" Of course, that was only the beginning of the pregnancy fiasco.

"Wendyyy!" Later on in the day, as I sat with Bruce making a list of things we'd need, I heard Wade shout my name from some far corner of the helicarrier.

"What the-" I didn't even get a chance to finish my sentence before he and Pete burst through the door and nearly tackled me with a hug.

"You're pregnant!" Pete said.

"Yeah, way to state the obvious. I won't be for long, though, the way your boyfriend's hugging me!" I looked pointedly at Wade, who had his arms wrapped around me too tight for comfort.

"Down, Wade." Pete ordered. Wade quickly released his hold.

"Wait…" I said. "How did you find out?"

"Jarvis told us." Wade said matter-of-factly.

"Jarvis?" I said.

"Yes ma'am?" He replied. He must have been able to see the look on my face, because I didn't need to say anything more. "Terribly sorry, ma'am. I couldn't contain myself when I heard the news." I sighed.

"Well, who else knows?"

"Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts have been informed as well. And Ms. Romanov knows, though that is not my doing."

"Well who told her?"

"Director Fury." Geez… what was Fury doing? Could it be that Mr. heart-of-stone had a soft spot for kids? Seemed a little far-fetched to me. My train of thought was interrupted when I noticed Pete staring at me with doe-eyes, and an idiotic grin on his face.

"What?" I said. "What is it?"

"We wanna throw you a baby shower!" He blurted out.

"You want to what?"

"You heard the man!" Wade said. I chuckled.

"Isn't it a little early?"

"Well, we have to start planning now, don't we?" Pete was starting to look dreamy. Yeah… he was definitely the girlfriend in this relationship. "Please?" Dammit, I couldn't resist those eyes!

"Fine! Fine, go ahead!" He pumped his fist in the air in delight. "On one condition; don't bother me with any of the details, alright?"

"Oh, of course! You just leave it to us!"

"Wait… I have to help too?" Wade said in dismay.

"Of course you're helping! Now, come on; we have to get decorations!" Wade was dragged out of the room with a noisy whine.

"Well, that was strange." Bruce said. He had been in the corner, safely away from the chaos that was Spiderpool.

"That's what they're like. You get used to it." I stroked my chin and thought a moment.

"What is it?"

"We need to announce this." He looked confused.

"Doesn't everyone already know?"

"Not everyone. Jarvis and Fury already got to half the Avengers. I want to announce it on my own terms before it spreads all over the whole helicarrier."

"Well, what do you propose we do?" A grin spread across my face.

"Do you remember our first date?" He nodded. "Remember how Stark had to ask you out for me?"

"Wait… you're gonna hack the PA?"

"That's the plan!" I moved over to one of the computers and got to work. "This thing has a mic, right?"

"Yeah, it does. But are you sure this is a good idea? Fury might not like it so much."

"Fury? Please. I can deal with him. Now, on the count of three; one, two, three!"

"We're pregnant!" We both shouted into the mic. If everyone on the helicarrier hadn't heard that, then I had done something wrong. All that week I kept getting congratulations.

"Lady Wendy, I am overjoyed!" Thor said when I saw him in the halls. "The best of luck with your new family! Know that you shall have our help!" I smiled.

"Thanks, Thor. Thanks a lot!" Stark had something to say about it too, the next time I went to help him with Jarvis.

"Damn. Seven months and he already knocked you up? That's what I call efficient." That earned him a rather, *ahem*, shocking punch in the arm. "Yeah. Shutting up now." Pepper was also happy for me, and we spent a good while daydreaming about nurseries. What can I say? She brings out the stereotypical female in me. Natasha's reaction had been surprising.

"Wendy, I'm so happy for you!" She had said, as her lips curled up into a smile. I honestly hadn't expected her to care either way. Not that I was complaining. Clint was standing with her. He had been a bit... shaken after the incident with Charlotte, and he was finally back on the team after a long leave. He looked just fine, but if I know something about trauma, it's that it doesn't just disappear.

"Give you any ideas?" He said, winking at Natasha.

"Clint, you'd better get a bun in her oven soon." I said. "I ain't doing this alone!"

"That's the thing, though." Natasha said. "We'll be married soon. Doesn't it worry you that you and Bruce are still just dating?"

"Well, no. I mean, we'll work it out." That got me thinking, though. Maybe we should get married? I didn't want to pressure him into it just because of the twins, though. I decided to leave it alone. Everyone seemed really pretty excited in general. Jane even dragged me into one of those picture places you go to see what your kids would look like. The results? Were _adorable_.

"Aww, she has your eyes!" Bruce cooed over one of the photos.

"Or he." I remarked. "You never know."

"Truly a remarkable child." Thor said over my shoulder. He was wearing jeans today, and a red t-shirt with a Harley Motorcycles logo on it. It was strange to see him without his armor. And even stranger to realize how hot he looked in street clothes. That's when I started to feel weak. It felt like every nerve in my body was starting to shut down.

"Bruce?" I said weakly, grabbing onto his shoulder.

"Wendy, are you alright?" He said as he lowered me into a chair.

"Is she okay? Should I call the hospital?" The woman behind the counter started to panic.

"Feel… weak." A look of understanding spread across Bruce's face.

"Um, ma'am, you might want to leave the room." She left in a hurry. "Thor, do you have Mjolnir with you?" He nodded, and pulled a cell-phone from a holster on his hip, which promptly transformed into his legendary hammer.

"My brother enchanted it with a glamour charm."

"I think you know what to do." Thor nodded. He raised his hammer, twirled it around, and struck me with it, just narrowly missing bashing my head in. I was hit with a sudden wave of energy, just like the first time, and I felt like I could take on the world.

"Ahh, much better!" I said, standing up. Of course, now I had to burn off all this energy. "Let's go for a walk, huh?" I walked out the door, the metal arching as I put my hand on the handle.

"There has to be a better way to do this." Bruce wondered aloud as he, Thor and Jane followed me out the door. They'd have their work cut out for them, though; I shot off like Wade on caffeine.


	21. Chapter 21: Tesla

**Author's Note: I know, I know, I didn't put this chappie up until late, late in the day. But I have an excuse. I forgot. Waahhh, please forgive me? ANyway, here we are. Here's to hoping this new chapter will avoid me the wrath of the readers...**

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"I like that one."

"Really? But it looks so… small." About two months after the initial announcement, Bruce and I were on the internet in his lab, looking at townhouses in New York. If we were going to start a family together, we'd need an actual house. One that actually stayed put.

"It's small, yes, but adorable!" He sighed.

"We can't base this off of looks, Wendy. We need function. Not to mention affordability." I snorted.

"That won't be much of a problem."

"Why's that?"

"Mercenary, remember?" He seemed to regard me curiously from the office chair he was sitting in.

"That's just it, though. Do you really have that much money? I mean, Natasha told me about the apartment they found you in." I sighed. I was going to have to explain this again, huh?

"Okay, imagine you're an officer of the law. You come across a young woman with a good amount of money, plenty of luxuries to show for it, and no career history, at least none on paper. What do you immediately assume?"

"Er… mercenary?"

"Wrong! You assume tax fraud. Which leads to a lot of worse things getting unburied."

"Okay. So, you couldn't use your money because people would get suspicious." I nodded. Finally, he was catching on! "Then why can you use it now?" I waved my hand in dismissal.

"Fury will back me up."

"He will?"

"Oh, he'd better. At least, if he doesn't want to deal with a pissed-off pregnant woman." He gulped.

"Yeah… got it." He stood up. "I just worry, okay?" He said, stroking my tummy, which was already growing. I was still pretty small, (I looked like I'd had a big lunch) but nevertheless, I felt fat; Bruce wouldn't have any of it, and said I looked beautiful. "I want them to have a good home."

"And they will, I promise." A smile grew across my face.

"What's that mean?"

"What's what mean?"

"That smile. That smile always means you've got an idea." I took his hand.

"We're going to San Francisco."

"We're what?!" Just a few hours later, we were in San Francisco, not too far from my old home. Fury had since given up on trying to keep me away from the helicopters. It wasn't the nicest area, and it could have done with a few more trees and less broken glass, but it still felt nostalgic.

"Ah, just breathe that air!" I said as we walked.

"I wouldn't. I'm not sure how good it is for the babies."

"Oh, stop it." I elbowed him in the arm.

"What are we doing here, anyway?"

"You'll see." I led him into an alleyway and started searching around the cement ground.

"Are you planning on dumping my body here?" I snickered.

"Yeah, sure, why not. No, dumbass!" I smiled when my fingers found a crack in one of the tiles. "Aha. Lift this, wouldja?" He walked over, puzzled, and slipped his fingers into the crack, pulling it clean off the ground to find… dirt.

"Well, that was anticlimactic."

"Hardy-har har. Dig." I pulled a shovel out from beneath the dumpster and handed it to him. He took it with a bit of eye rolling, and started to dig. It wasn't long before he hit something. I watched, amused, as he frowned at the "clank" noise it made. He leaned over and dusted off the object, an old brown towel wrapped around something hard and clunky. His eyes widened as he unwrapped it.

"G-gold?" He stuttered. In his hands was a pretty generous helping of pure gold ingots. "But… what? Wendy, what?" I smiled.

"Rather than tote around a bunch of cash all the time, or risk getting noticed with a huge-ass bank account, I converted almost all my money to gold and buried it all around the city."

"Wait… all around the city?"

"Yup! This is just the first X on the map. There's five more to go, so come on!" He followed me, sighing, but smiling all the same.

"You'll be the death of me one of these days."

"Oh, please. You'll outlive all of us with all your "exercise" and "diet" crap." We spent a good part of the day just walking around the city, digging up gold and stashing it in the chopper. If the pilot was suspicious, he didn't say anything. On the way back to the helicarrier, (which was stationed over NY again) I got a call on the comm in my ear.

"Wendy?" It was Pete. He sounded out of breath, and more than a little urgent.

"Pete? What is it, do you need help?"

"We need you in New York, now! It's Electro! He just keeps getting bigger and more powerful, and we-" the comm cut him off, fizzling and crackling.

"That doesn't sound good." Bruce said. I nodded. Without me even having to mention the situation, the pilot sped up, and we got back to NY in less than five minutes. By then, though, a lot of damage had been done.

"This is bad." I said as we stepped out of the helicopter. We had tracked Pete's location to a power plant in the rural outskirts of the city. We could see the problem from there. Electro (big, blue, pantsless electric dude) was making his way fast up the road to the plant. The others, (Pete, Thor and Tony) were trying their best to stop him.

"Hey, Wendy!" I heard a voice at my feet. Looking down, I was not actually that surprised to see Wade's head on the ground in front of me.

"Wade?"

"Hey! Glad you could make it!"

"Erm… where's the rest of you?"

"Pretty well scattered." Geez… if this Electro guy could beat Wade, he had to be pretty powerful. "Hey, would you mind making sure Pete doesn't, you know, die?" I nodded.

"Don't worry; I'll get him back to you in one piece." I started forward.

"Wait!" Bruce grabbed my arm and held me back.

"Bruce, I'll be fine."

"But… the twins." I hesitated for a moment. But only a moment. I knew why they'd called me in; I knew what I had to do. I pulled from Bruce's grip and went running up the road.

"Soon I'll be so powerful no one will be able to stop me! Shocking development, eh?" Electro was ranting.

"Dude!" Pete said as he slung webs at Electro, each melting whenever they got too close. "We've gone over this; the puns are _my _thing!" Tony was shooting repulsor beams at him, but he wasn't fazed in the least. Thor was laying on the ground on the side of the road. I could only imagine how strong this guy was to do that to him.

"Where's everyone else?" I shouted over the noise.

"Tasha and Clint are in Germany- whoa!" Pete dodged one of Electro's attacks. "And Loki and Rose have a thing in Asgard. We could really use your help here!" Suddenly Electro stopped, and seemed to sniff the air.

"I smell dinner!" He said. He turned to face me, a cocky smirk on his face. "Ooh, you're just brimming with power!" He began to walk toward me.

"Wendy!" Pete shouted. He decided to forgo the webs and just stepped right in between him and me. Electro just punched straight through his chest. Leaving him alive, but twitching on the ground, totally incapacitated. Tony tried to fly up behind him, but with a simple motion of his wrist, Electro had him paralyzed on the ground.

"Dammit… he froze the suit! Wendy, run!"

"Heh. No way, Tin Man. You guys called me here for a reason." I stood my ground as Electro walked slowly, menacingly toward me. That's when a flash of green came out of the corner of my eye, and Hulk was on the guy, punching the hell out of him like the shocks didn't even hurt.

"Get offa me!" Electro shouted. In one desperate move, he used a good bit of his power to shock Hulk with a couple thousand volts. He convulsed furiously and fell to the ground. That was it. This guy was going down. He stood and turned to me.

"You're like me, aren't you?" He said. "We're two of a kind, you and I."

"Not quite." He cocked his head.

"Oh, please explain."

"See, you _are_ electricity. I just conduct it."

"Ha! What can you do against me?" I smirked. I was _so_ going to enjoy this. I lunged forward and thrust my hand straight into his midriff. Bursts of color flashed across my vision as I absorbed him completely, ignoring his screams of protest. Not pain; I doubted he could even feel pain anymore. When the deed was done, I felt… well, how can I put this… about to short circuit. I blacked out.

The next thing I remember was Bruce's voice, calling frantically after me. As I lifted out of my fog, I realized that I could also hear Pete, calling my name. And Tony. And Thor. And that I was running; pretty fast. I looked down at my feet and saw a dusty dirt road, my feet moving at about a hundred miles per hour above it. Looking up and around me revealed an open, grassy field, and… a helicopter, following me at low altitude, with my boyfriend hanging out of it.

"Wendy! Wendy, wake up!" I began to slow my feet, and eventually came to a complete stop. I waited, confused as hell, as the helicopter landed and everyone filed out. "Wendy, are you alright?" Bruce took my head in his hands, worriedly checking for injury.

"How long was I running for?"

"Nineteen hours, Wendy! You're in south Jersey!" Huh… I figured I'd be at least in Pennsylvania by now.

"Lady Wendy, what has happened?" Thor came up, looking confused, with Spidey in tow.

"Yeah, I was wondering the same thing!" Pete said. Tony walked up, still in the suit, and studied me critically before saying;

"Don't worry, according to Jarvis she's alright. The babies are fine too."

"Wendy, what happened to Electro?" Bruce asked. I turned to him and winced, seeing the marks on his face and torn clothes from his fight with Electro.

"I absorbed him." I said. That's when it dawned on me. "All that power he had saved up was too much for me to handle without burning it off, so… I blacked out, and ran to Jersey."

"Wait… you absorbed him?" Pete looked amazed. "I've been trying to get rid of that guy for years, you're telling me you just…?"

"He's not really gone." Bruce said. "I think I know what happened. He's still on this earth, just… scattered. He'll likely come back someday, but it'll take him a while to get himself together." He took my hand in his. "Let's go home now, Wendy."

"Just one thing." He raised one eyebrow questioningly. I raised my hand, and slapped him across the cheek. He looked… well, like he'd just been slapped in the face. "That's for needlessly endangering yourself!" I said. "I would have been fine on my own without you throwing yourself on the guy like it would make any difference!" I administered the same treatment to Pete, and Tony, before climbing into the chopper. "Come on, then. Don't keep the pilot waiting."

"What was that about?" I heard Pete whisper to Bruce.

"She's pregnant, Pete. You might have to get used to it." Fury, of course, had something to say about our exploits. Though not quite what I expected. I braced myself as he walked up to me in his office, looking me in the eye with his one good one.

"Good work, Trescott." That was the one thing I never thought I'd hear out of his mouth.

"Wait, what did you just say?" Bruce was there with me, as were the others who had fought Electro.

"I said, good work. While these jokers ran around trying their hardest to get killed, you actually solved the problem at hand." Pete rubbed his arm sheepishly, and Thor just grunted indignantly.

"Whoa, whoa whoa." Tony protested. "I was doing just fine until she showed up."

"You were doing nothing." Fury said. "The way I heard it, all your repulsor beams were doing were making the guy more powerful."

"I could've, I dunno…"

"You couldn't have done jack." I could see Tony's face from here, squirming uncomfortably in a mix between a shocked expression and a scowl. "But that's not the point I'm getting at." He turned back to me. "Wendy Trescott?" I stood up straight. "How would you like to join the Avengers?" And my jaw fell.

"Wendy?" Bruce said from beside me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Wendy, are you alright?"

"You want me to be an Avenger? Me?"

"You heard me. Think about it a while, but not too long; I don't like to be kept waiting." My mouth was still gaping as we left the office, and Bruce's hand was still on my shoulder.

"This is a good thing, isn't it?" He said, sitting me down on my bed. "He respects you, finally! Isn't that what you've always wanted? And just think, you could be a part of the team!" I just didn't know what to think. I'd been making jokes for months now about how the guys had "pulled me over to the light side". No more cookies for me, and stuff like that. But now? Now that it was actually happening, that I had very obviously crossed the line between outlaw and hero, it was… it was scary.

"What about the kids?" I said. "They already have one parent in the Avengers. What if something happens to one, or both of us, and they're left to fend on their own? Or worse, what if something happens to them?" Bruce looked thoughtful as he wrapped his arm around me.

"That is a concern." He said. "It's a risk, I won't lie. But we know how hard we both are to kill. And can you imagine either of us ever letting anyone harm our children?" I chuckled halfheartedly. Yeah… the image of Berserker Wendy and the Hulk beating up on someone simultaneously, bonding over their mutual love of destruction… it really shouldn't have been funny, but it was. "And can you imagine it? Our children would be able to call themselves the kids of Wendy and the Hulk."

"That's another problem." I said.

"What is?" I bit my lip and looked down at the floor. It really was a stupid reason. But I figured I should get everything out in the open now.

"I don't have a name."

"A name?"

"Yeah! A superhero name! And cool one, too. Not, like, Squirrel Girl or anything." He snorted.

"That's it?" I looked away, feeling silly. "Tesla." He said.

"What?"

"Tesla. As in Tesla coil." I thought. Short, relevant, rolls of the tongue…

"Yeah. Okay, I can dig it." He chuckled at my outdated lingo. "But… that's not it."

"I know." He pulled me in close, and I buried myself in his chest. "That couldn't be the only thing keeping you from something this big. But if I don't know the problem, I can't help, Wendy."

"I'm scared." I said, my arms around him. "Scared of changing." He didn't say anything, so I continued. "When I got here, I made a vow; I wasn't going to let myself change. I wasn't going to give in to all the touchy-feely "good of the people" stuff you guys value so much here. I was going to earn my freedom, and go back to the way things used to be, the way I always liked it. But now… I don't know who I am anymore. I just don't know!"

"You're Wendy Trescott." Bruce said, rubbing my back up and down. It reminded me of that first day. The first time we ever kissed. "You're a strong, amazing, intelligent, beautiful girl. You're competitive and stubborn, you've got an obsession with firearms and breathtaking anger management issues." I chuckled softly. Of course; Bruce knew I wouldn't fall for flattery. He was being straight-up honest with me in his appeal. Oddly enough, I was loving it. "Most importantly, you know the difference between right and wrong and you're not afraid to stand up for what you believe in. That's the Wendy I know." I nuzzled further into him, and he held me tighter, probably assuming I still needed comforting; not so.

"Thank you." I said, lifting my head and smiling. "Thank you so much. I need to go give Fury my answer."

"I'll come with you." He smiled back and took my hand, helping me off the bed. I made a mental note to mark this day on the calendar; Wendy Trescott has officially crossed over to the light side. Not to worry, though; the dark side may have cookies, but the light side has chimichangas.


	22. Chapter 22: Han Solo Proposes

**Author's Note: Ahhh I'm being horrible with updates lately! I wish I could say I had an excuse for not updating the other day, but the truth is, I simply... forgot. So here. I'll give you twenty two today, and you can have twenty three tomorrow. Two updates in a row. I only hope that makes up for my tardiness. So here you are! Read and review, please! _(_And yes, the title of the chapter _will _make sense later.)**

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Not a week later, Rose had invited Bruce and me to their house for dinner. To be honest I actually really liked the Tylers, not to mention I couldn't turn down free food. So we found ourselves at the door of their little (or, not so little) suburban dream nestled in upstate New York.

"Wow… this place is huge!" Bruce said as we rang the doorbell.

"Well, what did you expect? I bet they didn't even pay for it, Loki prob'ly just made it appear out of nowhere." He chuckled.

"Maybe it's made out of gingerbread."

"You wanna test that theory?" Just then, the door opened, and Rose was standing there, looking pleased to see us.

"Hey! So glad you could make it, come on in!" We stepped inside the house to find it was… well, it was smaller on the inside. Oh yeah; reinforced walls. The floor plan was open and airy, with a staircase leading up to a sort of loft/hallway, with doors all along it. "I heard you're a part of the team now, Wendy! Congratulations!" She looked genuinely excited to have me join.

"Er, where's Loki?" Bruce asked.

"In the nursery, trying to get the kids to calm down. They're learning to walk now, and it's been interesting to deal with. Dinner's on the stove, it'll be a while, if you don't mind."

"Oh, no, that's fine." I said. "So, what were you two doing in Asgard, anyhow?" She scratched the back of her head, looking a bit guilty.

"Well, the thing is, before the other day, Odin and Frigga hadn't actually known they had a daughter-in-law. Or grandkids. More grandkids, anyhow."

"Ooh. Didn't go over so well, huh?"

"Actually, no. They were overjoyed. Frigga loved me, and Odin didn't kill me, which I take as a sign that he likes me too. Oh, sit, sit! You're probably tired!" She led us over to a couch in the living room and we sat down.

"Rose!" We heard Loki's panicked shout. "Have you seen Madison?"

"You lost her? Again?" No reply. "Well, where did you last leave her?" I heard a coo from my left, and a mess of ginger hair popped up behind the couch arm. I smiled and reached around, picking Madison up from under the shoulders and lifting her onto my lap. Rose turned and saw her, smiling in relief. "Astrid-Madison Tyler, what are we going to do with you?" She said. Madison just gurgled happily and grabbed one of my fingers, putting it in her mouth. It was adorable, until she bit down.

"Ouch! What the h-" I stopped myself. "What the heck?" I could see Rose struggling not to laugh at my self-censorship.

"Sorry." She said. "Jotun teeth. They come in earlier and sharper than human kids."

"You're lucky you're adorable." I said to Madison, bouncing her up and down on my knee. She really was a beautiful baby. Loki had her dressed in a little green onesie, of course. It did compliment her emerald green eyes nicely, though not so much the hair. Wait a minute… the hair… "How is her hair red?" I asked. That's when Loki appeared on the steps, one blonde-haired little tyke under each arm, like footballs.

"Do _not_ tell them, Rose." He said, walking carefully down to the first floor.

"Oh, but what's the harm?"

"You promised!" Rose ignored him, and turned to us.

"That's his natural hair color." She said, pointing to Madison. "He colors it with magic because he thinks he looks silly ginger."

"Damn you, Rose."

"I know, dear. I know." Loki set the other two down on the ground in front of the couch, and sat down in an armchair. He was wearing jeans and a black t-shirt today. The longer I knew him, the less he seemed to wear his Asgardian finery. I'd bet my boots it had something to do with Rose. "What's for dinner?" Rose asked.

"Oh, just a roast, nothing fancy." Rose turned to me.

"So when's the due date?" Loki and Bruce both groaned. "Oh, if you can't bear to listen to us, just go off and talk about football or racecars or whatever." They both stood up. "And take the kids with you." Loki rolled his eyes, but offered no more complaints as he picked up Madison and Eric and put one under each arm.

"Get Eira, would you?" Bruce obliged, and followed Loki back up to the nursery.

"Well then?" Rose looked at me expectantly.

"It's supposed to be December thirty-first." I said. "Just four months to go!" She smiled.

"Do you two have a house yet?"

"We think so, yeah. A nice little townhouse in Manhattan, not too far from Central Park."

"One question; is it reinforced?"

"What?"

"You're having the children of the Hulk and... Tesla, was it? You might want to think about it." I made a mental note to bring that up with Bruce. "Oh, I'm loving this! When I was having the triplets, I didn't have _anyone_ to talk to about this kind of stuff."

"What was it like?" I asked. She bit her lip.

"Well, it wasn't exactly a normal pregnancy. Half-Jotun children inside a human womb isn't a good combination. I was in a coma for the last few weeks of the pregnancy." Wow… that sounded terrifying. "Imagine waking up in a hospital bed and the first thing you realize is that you're in labor."

"Yikes."

"You'd better believe "yikes". I was okay in the end, though. I mean, I'm still here, aren't I?"

"But mine won't be like that, right?" She took a deep breath.

"Well, you never know. I mean, yours isn't exactly a normal pregnancy either." Images came to mind of huge, green babies, babies with sparks flying off them. I shivered. "I don't mean to scare you, though!" She said quickly. "Just prepare yourself, alright?"

"Catch him!" We heard a yell from the nursery upstairs. Then a thump. And a delighted, high pitched squeal. Rose giggled.

"For all the trouble they cause, we get our share of laughs from the kids." She turned back to me. "Are you two engaged yet, then?"

"Um, no, not yet." Somehow that made me feel… I dunno. Guilty, I guess? There was no reason for it. I mean, we didn't have to be married to have a happy family, right? This was the twenty-first century!

"Oh, well that's fine anyway." She said. "I knew a couple back in London, they raised their daughter five years without even getting engaged, and the kid turned out fine. She's in some kind of program now, for genius kids." Heh; I knew there was a reason I liked Rose. We chatted like that for a good while, until a timer went off in the kitchen. "Oh! That's the roast. Loki?"

"I heard it." He came back down the stairs and banged about in the kitchen a while.

"I can cook," Rose said. "But his food is just so much better!" Bruce came down, too, juggling Eira in one arm and Madison in the other. Eric trailed behind him, carefully crawling down each step in succession.

"Come on, careful now." Bruce cheered him on quietly as he made it down the last step. "There you go!" Eric looked proud as he stood on the bottom floor, smiling.

"Oh, what a good boy!" Rose swept him up in her arms and spun him around in the air as he giggled happily. "Who's mummy's little athlete?" Dinner went well. As Rose had said, Loki really was an amazing cook, and the roast was unlike anything I'd ever tasted before. I started to suspect he might have enchanted it! As we ate, he kept the triplets occupied by turning one of the end tables into a dog for them to play with.

"Oi! Eira, that's not supposed to come off!" Well, play with, torture… what's the difference, right? I felt a little sorry for the poor thing, even though it wasn't strictly real, but at least they weren't burning down the house. We ate, (I might have had second helpings. Or third.) said goodbye, and left back to the helicarrier. I had moved into Bruce's room a few weeks before, and we slept in the same bed together. In the morning, Bruce was gone, and there was a little package with a note on it sitting on the end table. I sat up and read the note.

Dear Wendy. Sorry I had to leave, they need me in the lab. This is a gift for you, a congratulations for getting into the Avengers. I hope you like it! Love, Bruce.

I opened the package, and my eyes widened when I saw what was inside; it was the new Evanescence album! Oh, thank you thank you thank you Bruce! I thanked him silently inside my head. This wasn't even supposed to be out yet! I was willing to bet he'd had help from Tony. I looked at the back; there was a special bonus track. Well, no use in just standing around looking at the thing, right? I popped the disc into my CD player and pressed play. I _love_ their music, no joke. They always seem to be singing about exactly what I'm thinking about. This album? All about love and hate, good and evil, right and wrong. I relished every word. Near the end, I was just sitting on the bed, listening, when the special "bonus track" came on.

"Hey there, Wendy Trescott!" I sat up fast. That was the lead singer. And had she just said my name? "We've got a message for you!" She continued. "Bruce wants you to be his wife; whaddyou say?" My mouth gaped open, and I just sat there in shock for a moment. Then I jumped up and went to find Bruce. No need; when I opened the door he was there, kneeling and holding a ring box open in front of me, smiling from ear to ear.

"Bruce?" I said, still a bit dazed.

"What do you say, Wendy? Will you marry me?" I swallowed. I needed to get something out of the way first.

"Bruce, tell me honestly. Are you doing this because you love me, or because you feel guilty for getting me pregnant?" He looked me straight in the eye, and said, with complete sincerity;

"Because I love you, Wendy. And because I want to spend the rest of my life with you, for better or worse." A smile grew on my face, and my eyes began to tear up.

"Yes!" I squealed. I threw my arms around him, nearly knocking him to the ground. "Yes, yes of course I'll marry you!" We stood up, my arms still around his shoulders, and he took my left hand, slipping a ring onto my finger. I studied it. "What is this made of?" I asked. It looked like a motherboard. It was steel, and covered in little electronic designs and symbols.

"It's not just a ring." He said. I listened, curious. "Tony and I have been working on it for a while now. You know you've been having trouble "recharging"? What this does- or, should do, is gather ambient electricity from the world around and feed it into you continuously."

"So… no more Mjolnir?"

"No more Mjolnir." I kissed him, breaking away to look into his eyes. "I love you." I said.

"I know." I smiled.

"Oh, great. I'm marrying Han Solo." I said sarcastically.

"I love you too, Wendy. And I always will." So there it was; the moment every girl dreams of. And sure, I wasn't on a hot air balloon above France, or in a romantic little park with roses everywhere. But it was perfect. So, so perfect. I couldn't have asked for anything more.


	23. Chapter 23: Baby Shower

Two months later, Bruce and I walked into the rec room to find it all decked out in pink streamers, pink-and white balloons, just about everything you'd expect for a baby shower. Everyone was there, eagerly awaiting our arrival.

"Wendy!" Pete said when he saw us. He ran up to me, eyes beaming. "Do you like it?"

"It's very… pink." I said, trying to find something positive to say about it. I could see Bruce trying to hide his laughter. "I love it." I said.

"Um… can I…?" Pete said cautiously. I smiled.

"Go ahead." Pete smiled, and put his hands over my belly, which had grown immensely over the past few months. His smile grew wider, and he looked up, delighted. "I felt her kick!" We had gone to the doctor's not too long ago, and found out they were both girls.

"Whoa!" Tony said from the couch. "You're huge!"

"Wonderful observation." I said with my hands on my hips.

"Hey!" Clint said. "The woman of honor is here, we can finally get started!" As with all parties involving the Avengers, it was a great time. Of course, I was promptly swarmed by everyone, with offerings of congratulations. Not on the twins; on the proposal.

"Let us see it!" Rose demanded eagerly.

"See what?"

"The ring, silly!" I smiled, and held up my hand for everyone to see.

"Wow… it's beautiful!"

"But… what is it?" Steve asked. I was about to answer, when Pepper piped up.

"Oh, that's what Bruce and Tony have been working on, isn't it?" I nodded. "If I remember right it's supposed to be like a… a conductor?"

"More like a charger, but you get the idea."

"That means then, that I won't have to strike you every time you begin to run low?" Thor asked.

"Yup, that's the gist of it."

"Ooh, I can't wait for the wedding!" Rose said. We had set the date for April fourth. Long after the twins would be born, but two months isn't really enough time to plan a wedding. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bruce sitting and talking with Loki. No doubt gathering advice about child-rearing. "Have you chosen bridesmaids yet?" Rose asked.

"Well, I don't really know that many women in the first place. I was thinking of making Pete wear a dress for the ceremony, but I don't think he'd go for that." Rose giggled.

"I wouldn't what?" We heard Pete from the corner of the room.

"Nothing, Pete. Nothing important." He let the matter be, and I turned back to Rose.

"Of course, there'll be you and Pepper." Her face lit up.

"Really?" Pepper said. "Nothing would make me happier, Wendy!"

"And…" I rubbed the back of my head. Where was Natasha, anyway? Ah ha; there she was. Standing in the corner, trying her best to avoid socializing. I walked purposefully up to her. She looked up.

"Wendy?" I'd noticed she had started calling me Wendy, instead of Trescott. I took it as a compliment.

"Natasha, would you be my maid of honor?" If I didn't know better, I would have thought it was a look of shock on her face. "Hey… you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine." A smile twitched at the corners of her lips. "I'd be honored."

"Oh, yeah." Clint said from beside her. "Heard he popped the question. Congratulations!" He turned to Natasha. "Maid of honor, huh? Does that mean I'm gonna get to see you in a dress?"

"Stop it, Clint."

"But you'd look so beautiful!" I smiled. To be honest, I still didn't like the guy that much. But… he made Natasha happy. Which made him okay in my book.

"Wendy!" I heard Phil from behind me.

"Hey, Phil!" I pulled him into a hug. He had been on a mission the past few days along with agent Hill, and I hadn't seen him in too long.

"Congratulations, Wendy!" He said.

"Oi; eyes are up here." To be fair, he wasn't staring at my chest; he was staring at my ginormous twin-tummy. I had already had to take out the stud in my belly-button because I was afraid it was gonna pop out and fly across the room.

"Sorry, it's just… twins, huh?"

"Yeah. Both girls."

"Do you have names picked out yet?"

"Yes, yes we do."

"What are they?" I smiled and held a finger to my lips.

"Not telling! Bruce wants to keep them a secret."

"Have you seen this?" He motioned his head to a cork board on the wall, covered in… of course; baby pictures. "That's me." He pointed to one of the pictures. It was a shot of one-year old Phil, in nothing but a diaper, running around with applesauce all over his face. In the background a pair of legs with a skirt around them, (probably his ma) ran toward him with arms outstretched, trying to catch him and, inevitably, bathe him. The whole scene was absolutely _adorable_. I scanned the board. Pete had really outdone himself. There were pictures of Clint running around with other kids in the orphanage he grew up in. Of little Tony making impossibly complex structures with tinkertoys. Rose jumping off couches with a red cape (AKA bath towel) tied around her neck. There were pictures of Steve, all dressed up and saluting for the camera in black and white, looking like the happiest little patriot in the world. Portraits of Loki and Thor, trying (and failing) to sit nicely for the artist. There weren't any of Natasha, for obvious reasons. I found some of Bruce playing with a junior chemistry set, and in the very middle of the board? Me. Pictures of me, at around two, three years old, running around the old yard. I smiled at a picture of little, half-naked me trying my best to catch a squirrel I'd set my sights on. Believe it or not, I remembered that day. I remembered being so disappointed I couldn't catch the squirrel that pa went out and caught one for me. That night we had stew, with the teeniest bits of meat I'd ever come across.

"No!" I heard a young, high-pitched voice from behind me. Looks like Loki and Rose had brought the triplets, and Rose was trying her best to get Madison to eat something - _anything_ – even remotely healthy.

"Come on, it's good for you!" Rose said, as she tried her best to get Madison to open her mouth for a carrot. I watched as Bruce asked if he could try. He put Madison in his lap, took the carrot, and started waving it around theatrically in the air.

"Here comes the horsie!" He said. Heh; a little Asgardian twist on "here comes the airplane", eh? "Open the stables!" Madison grinned, and happily opened her mouth to chomp down on the carrot.

"Good, right?" Bruce prompted. She nodded, her mouth full of carrot. I was pretty sure my heart was about to explode on the spot from how adorable the whole scene was. I had definitely picked the right guy to have kids with, even if it wasn't strictly on purpose. That's when I heard a crash coming from the snack table; Eric, god knows how, had climbed his way up there and was – I kid you not – bathing in the sour cream. I rushed over and picked him out.

"Oh, Eric!" Loki came over to take him out of my hands. He looked him scoldingly in the eye as he held the kid, dripping in sour-cream, from under the arms. "Silly young thing. Let's get you cleaned up." I half-expected him to excuse himself and Eric to the bathroom, but instead he just snapped his fingers and Eric was clean.

"They're a handful, huh?" I remarked, as Eric did his best to bite his father's ears off.

"Oh, yes. And just you wait; soon you'll be in the same boat as Rose and I. Looking forward to dealing with giant, green, electrically charged toddlers?" I gulped. He wasn't exactly making it sound easy. Hadn't he been one of my biggest supporters?

"Lay off, reindeer games." I said, smirking. "It's not like they'd be _born_ green, anyhow." But would they? We didn't even know what they'd turn out like, given the, ahem, _interesting_ gene pool. Loki must have seen the panic in my eyes, because his expression softened.

"You'll be fine. After all, our children are all magically endowed frost-giants, and we haven't screwed anything up too royally yet." I grinned. Out of the corner of my eye, though, I happened to catch something; Bruce was leaving. "Where's your fiancé going?" Loki asked. I didn't answer, just pushed past him and toward the door, leaving it open as I walked out into the hall. He was still there, leaning against the wall with his hand running through his hair.

"Hey." I said, approaching him. "Are you alright?" He didn't answer. "Is it the crowd, is it stressing you out? Did you eat something bad?" He chuckled.

"No, it's not that." He took a deep breath. "I'm scared." Scared?

"Scared of what?" He looked me in the eye.

"Of the kids. Our kids. What if I can't do it? What if I feed them something they're not supposed to have, or drop one on her head, or forget about them and leave them alone? Wendy, I know nothing about raising children!"

"Bruce, you'll be a great dad! I saw you in there with Maddie." He sighed.

"That's just it. When I was sitting with her, she just looked so fragile. Like I'd break her if I made one wrong move. And it was terrifying." I was… I don't know what I was. And, more importantly, I didn't know what to do. Should I try to comfort him? Prove him wrong? And how? I didn't have to think about it for much longer, though. Madison came toddling out the door and wrapped her arms around Bruce's leg, smiling up at him with her adorably terrifying Jotun-teeth.

"Carras!" She said. I could only assume she meant carrots. A smile grew across Bruce's face.

"See?" I said. "You're great with kids. Even the kids agree!" He leaned down to pick her up.

"You want some more carrots?" He asked. She just pointed at him, and repeated the phrase. I snorted.

"She thinks your name's carrots!"

"Ah, I've been called worse."

"Come on." I took him by the elbow. "I think Rose'll be looking for her kid." As I led him back in, and Rose took Madison back into her arms, I could still see the doubt in his eyes. Well then, I thought; I'll have to do something about that, won't I?

"Hey, is it present time already?" Wade said impatiently.

"Wait, what?" I asked.

"Pete made us stash all the gifts in the mess hall so you could open them all at the same time."

"I guess we could open them now." Pete said. "Wendy?" Well, why not? So we all migrated to the mess hall. I spent the next fifteen-or-so minutes opening gifts. Wade and Pete gave us a set of baby silverware. From the look on Wade's face, it wasn't his first choice. From the look on Pete's face, it had taken a good bit of discipline to get him to agree. Steve gifted a little quilt with a rabbit design on the front. Natasha and Clint gave us one of those bouncy baby-swing things you hang from doorways. In Clint's own words?

"I remember seeing one of these things in a catalogue a while ago and thinking; they should make that in adult size." I have to admit, I shared his opinion. Thor gave us two little wooden pull toys shaped like bears. He said he had carved them himself, and I could tell he had put his whole heart into them. Jane gave us two teddy bears, one honey-colored and one more of a cocoa. She said they used to be hers when she was little. Coulson gave us a big (and I mean _big_) pile of picture books. Rose gave us a music box. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, just a little wooden box. But when you opened it, a little fairy started dancing, and it played a beautiful, tinkling melody I knew I'd heard somewhere before but couldn't quite place.

"I found it in a little shop a long time ago. I thought the girls might like it." She said. I put it aside before reaching for Loki's gift. Opening the box, I found inside two rag-dolls. They were sort of waldorf-style dolls, adorably chubby with almost no mouths. They both wore dresses with flower prints, one green and one pink. The one with the pink dress had long, brown, yarn hair, and the one with the green dress had long red hair. I was entranced by them. I'd never really been one for dolls, but they were beautiful.

"To be their companions." Loki said. "Their friends."

"Where did you get them?" I asked.

"I made them, of course." He scoffed. Oh, right; magic. It was probably easy for him to just conjure them up.

"Thank you, Loki. They're beautiful." Pepper had something more practical in mind.

"A baby gate?" I said, holding up the box.

"Trust me." She said. "If they're your daughters? You'll need it." The last gift, though, really took the cake. Tony and Pepper brought out a big box wrapped carefully in lavender paper. Bruce and I unwrapped it together, and on the inside was a mobile. The mobile was large, with metal arms, and hanging from it were little, painted, wooden chibi-figures of all of our friends. Me, Bruce, Pete, Wade, Tony, Pepper, Rose, Loki, Thor, Jane, Natasha, Clint, Steve, Fury, Phil, and even agent Hill. All of us.

"I know you've got two kids, but I figure you can hang it in the middle of the nursery."

"This is amazing, Tony!"

"He made it himself, too." Pepper "Wouldn't let me help at all." Tony beamed with pride at the praise.

"Well, you know, If I was making it it had to turn out pretty kickass." That's when the PA crackled on.

"Boys and girls, I hope you're ready for a mission." Fury's voice rang through the halls. "Sorry to interrupt the festivities, but Doctor Dredd's wreaking havoc in Jersey right now. We could really use the Avengers down there." Everyone stood, and ran out with urgency.

"Sorry, Wendy." Coulson said as I tried to stand up and join them. "Given your condition, I don't think you should be a part of this." My face fell. Oh, yeah. Pregnancy kinda sucks. Bruce was leaving too, but he hesitated as he heard this.

"Go on." I said. "Do your hero thing!" He gave me a kiss, and a hug, and left out the door. Coulson went too, most likely to help Fury manage the fight from the office. "Well then," I said. "It's just you and me, Jarvis."


	24. Chapter 24: Diplomacy (Sort Of)

**Author's note: Let's be honest... this chapter has no real point to it. It just kinda came out of my keyboard. But even though it doesn't have much to do with the main storyline, think of it as a theater break. Enjoy!**

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Wow… it had been a long time since I'd done something like this. I was waiting in line at the bank. An actual, legitimate bank. Bruce had convinced me it would be a good idea to get an actual account rather than just convert the gold whenever we needed money. Which, to be honest, wasn't a bad plan. Bruce was waiting with me, and we'd been standing there for hours. Or at least it felt that way. According to Bruce's watch, it had only been five minutes. I had asked Fury to help with the situation, and he had obliged, putting my money into a special, throwaway account I could transfer into a more permanent one. Basically Fury was now my money launderer. Weird… Of course, as we were waiting in line a bunch of guys in ski masks just had to bust in holding guns. And they had to hold up the bank, complete with hostages. Just my luck, huh?

"Alright." I listened to one of the guys talking on the phone with the police force. We were all sitting on the ground, heads down. Bruce looked like he was about ready to go green. I put a hand on his arm and shook my head; I had a plan. "For every ten minutes we don't get the combination to the safe, somebody dies." Wow… these guys really were rank amateurs. "Okay, then." He said, smirking as he put down the phone. "As long as you all behave like good little hostages, I guarantee at least some of you will make it out of this alive."

"Excuse me?" I said, with my best "panicked hostage" voice.

"You got something to say?"

"I have to use the toilet." He just stared at me.

"Lady, do you know where you are?" I stared right back.

"Please? If the police find out you've been mistreating a pregnant woman…" That got him. He assigned me a body guard and walked me out the door to the bathroom. That didn't last long. Once we got to the hall, I grabbed the guy by the neck and channeled some of my energy into him, knocking him out cold. One down, I thought; four to go.

"Hey… you're that Banner guy, ain'tcha?" Uh oh… one of the guys had recognized Bruce. I guess he was pretty famous. "Yo, we should tie 'im up, make sure he doesn't go all green on us." Idiots. I peeked around the doorway; they were wrapping him up in duct tape. I could see him gritting his teeth, trying not to destroy the whole place. If he hulked up, sure the robbers would be taken care of, but so would all the hostages, and probably any building within a mile radius.

"Where's Greg with that pregnant lady?" One of the guys asked.

"You better go check on 'em." Like fish in a barrel, I swear. I hid behind the corner as the guy walked out. Better to get him away from his buddies first. He wandered through the halls, scratching his head and looking around for me for a while, and when he finally came close enough, I grabbed him from behind and put a hand over his mouth. The baby bump was not making this easier in any way, but he was weak and panicked, and easy to overpower.

"I'm going to take my hand away. If you try anything, you will die. Seem simple enough for you?" He nodded frantically and I took my hand away from his mouth, my grip still tight on his arms. "Listen up. I need an inside man. You're gonna be him. Got that?" He nodded again. "When I let you go, you're going to walk in there, and tell your boss there's a problem. I don't care what, just make it up. You're gonna send him out here, and I'll take it from there." He nodded again. "And if you decide to double-cross me, just know I can kill you in a heartbeat." I made my fingers spark menacingly, and he gulped.

"Hey, this wasn't my idea, okay?" He said. His voice sounded frightened and vulnerable, and he was breaking out into a cold sweat. I kinda felt sorry for him. "It was Rick, he's the one that came up with this. It's for his mom, y'know? She's dyin' we didn't know what else to do!" Now, I know what you're thinking; who am I, to fall for this kind of B.S? But I know a lie when I hear it, and this wasn't one. My face softened.

"Hey, I'm not gonna kill you guys or anything. But my fiance's in there, and if I don't get him out before he goes berserk, it'll be a moot point. Now get to it." I let him go, and he scurried off nervously. I just hoped he had good enough acting skills. I needed to get the leader away from Bruce before our little chat, in case it didn't go as planned. I walked over to one of the windows and peeked through the blinds. The NYPD was outside, running around trying to take care of the situation. My eyes widened as they fell on a familiar sight; tear gas. This just kept getting better and better. If they gassed the place with Bruce in here? I don't know if even I could survive that. I was on a timer now. I had to work fast.

"Yo, I don't see any blood, man. You sure?"

"Yeah, she had the kid right here. She's just around the corner." I bit my tongue to keep from snickering. They saw me as they rounded the corner. It was the guy I'd just captured, (whose name was apparently Greg) the leader, (who Greg had called Rick) and another guy who refused to remove his ski mask.

"Hey, she's still huge!" The mask said in a feminine voice. Oh… well, why not? "What's the deal, Greg?"

"What're you tryin' to pull?" Rick growled at Greg.

"Hey. Lay off him." I said.

"And who're you?"

"That doesn't matter. What matters is that there's a police squad out there ready to gas this place, and if they do, you'll have bigger problems than sore eyes."

"Yo, why should we believe you?"

"Take a look." Rick looked through the blinds.

"Dammit. Dammit to hell!" He punched the wall beside him, leaving a pretty sizeable hole.

"You said this would work, Rick!" The girl said, pulling off her ski mask to reveal short, spiky-blonde hair. "Now we're all screwed!"

"It should've worked! I didn't think there'd be a frickin' Avenger in the place!"

"Two, actually." I stood up, feeling one of the twins kick me pretty hard. _Not_ the time. "Listen. You haven't killed anyone yet, right?" The guys all shared a look. It had been twenty minutes since their "one hostage every ten minutes" threat, and I hadn't heard any gunshots. "If you give yourself up, the judge might go easy on you. Tell them the story about your mom." Rick threw a glare at Greg, who shrugged sheepishly. "You only have a few minutes at most to decide." Rick ran his hands through his hair.

"Fine. You know what? Fine. This whole operation's already gone to hell, anyway." The three walked out with their hands up. Well, two of them, anyway; Greg had to carry the guy I'd knocked out. The police took them away, and all the hostages ran back to their families. Bruce sat still as I peeled the duct-tape off of him.

"Have fun?" He asked as I worked.

"Oh, yeah. I had a blast." He winced as I peeled a bit off his bare arm.

"What'd you do then, shock them until they gave in?"

"Nah. I just talked."

"Just… talked?"

"Yeah." The look in his eyes… I could've sworn it was admiration. I smiled as I stripped off the last bit of tape, and he stood up and took me in his arms.

"I'm so glad you're alright."

"Yeah. Me too." I pulled away when I got a call on the comm. "Fury?" I said.

"Trescott, we've gotten word of a hostage situation in your bank." Oh, now he decides to step in.

"It's alright, I took care of it." I thought a moment. "Hey, they should be bringing in the perps about now. There's someone I need you to look up, dude named Rick. See if you can get his mom some help."

"What?"

"You heard me. Catch you later." I hung up, and took Bruce by the hand. "Come on. We still need to open an account!"


	25. Chapter 25: All's Well That Ends Well

**Author's note: Here it is. The final chapter. Thanks so much to everyone who has followed, favorited, reviewed, or even just read this fic. It warms my heart to know there are people out there who actually like my work! Fear not, for a sequel is in the making; who wants to see Wendy's daughters and the other next-generation Avengers having adventures together? But this chapter of our story has come to an end. And so, without further ado, I give you Chapter 25.**

* * *

Less than a week until the twins were due, Bruce and I were unpacking in our new home. It felt sort of weird, doing normal family stuff like this. Heh… if you could call us a normal family. Not that there was much to unpack, mind you. Neither of us really owned much of anything.

"Can't you see it?" I said as we explored the house. "This will be the nursery until they get too big. When they grow up, we could put in a bunk bed."

"A bunk bed? There's enough space for two beds in here." I just looked at him, incredulous.

"It's a bed with a ladder!" He rolled his eyes.

"Of course, what was I thinking?" I ignored his tone and walked into the room. The cribs were already set up, and Tony's mobile was hanging from the middle of the ceiling. There was a bay window on one wall, and a walk-in-closet, which I imagined being used more for secret bases than actual clothing. "It's a kid's dream." I said. "We need a bookshelf, you know. For all the books Phil gave us."

"Oh, don't worry about that. I can build one, easy." I smiled. Typical DIY Bruce. I walked into the room with him, looking around at the place our children would be raised. "This is going to be your room!" Bruce said into my belly. I giggled as he spoke to the twins in baby-talk.

"They can't even hear you, you know."

"You're also the one who wanted to put headphones on my baby bump and play Mozart for them."

"It was a great idea!" He stood up, smiling.

"Yes, but you didn't see Natasha's face when she walked in on me!" I sort of wished he had. Her reaction had been pretty fun to watch.

"Wendy?" She'd said when she walked in on me in the rec room, reading a book with a pair of headphones over my tummy. "What are you doing?" She looked at me like I was crazy.

"Reading, what's it look like?"  
"No, I mean with the headphones."

"They're supposed to make the kids smarter." Now I just felt ridiculous. It was probably a trick of the light, but I thought I saw Natasha trying to hide laughter. I couldn't blame her, anyway.

"Alright, then. I'll leave you to that." She exited the room, leaving me to smack my palm into my face. Why did I ever listen to Bruce? I gave up, put the headphones on properly, and started playing Vampire Weekend.

"It would have worked if you'd stuck with it." Bruce said, back in the present.

"I don't care! It looked ridiculous!"

"I just want them to have the best chance we can, alright?"

"What, given the gene pool?" I raised my eyebrow at him.

"You have a good point…" If they were Bruce's kids, they'd be doodling scientific theories on the walls by the time they were three. We walked around the whole rest of the house. It was three stories, counting the roof. Two bathrooms, two bedrooms, a kitchen, a dining/living room, and a ladder up to the roof where you could watch the world go by. A little slice of heaven.

"Hey, there isn't anything in the fridge, is there?" I asked as we sat in the living room. We didn't have any proper furniture quite yet, but we did have a few surprisingly comfortable folding chairs.

"I guess you're right. I should go shopping, I guess."

"Do you know any stores around here?"

"Yeah, there's one a few blocks down." He stood up.

"Alright then, let's go." I tried to stand up too, but sat back down fast. My back was _killing_ me.

"Oh, honey, is it your back again?" Bruce hovered worriedly over me.

"It's fine, Bruce." I smiled. "Go already! I'm starving!" He grinned back.

"I'll only be fifteen minutes or so. Twenty, at the most." He kissed me goodbye, then hopped into the minivan (courtesies of Tony, who seems to love throwing money around like candy) and drove off. I occupied myself by trying to see if I could switch the lights on and off from the chair. I stuck my tongue out in concentration, gesturing with my hand to the bulb. If I concentrated… there! I made the lights flicker a bit. That's when I heard a crack of thunder, and the lights went off completely. Huh… guess it wasn't me, then. I walked to the window.

"Oh, great." I mumbled to myself. "He didn't bring an umbrella." I sat in front of the window, watching the rain pour down. It was December, anyway. Wasn't it supposed to  
be snowing? I blame global warming. It was really coming down out there. I could feel the tingle in the air of lightning waiting to strike. "3… 2… 1…" I counted down under my breath. I was spot on, too; lightning stuck just at zero. The one thing I hadn't predicted was the blackout. All the lights in the house went out, and I was left in the dark. "Oh, great. That's just frigging great." I fumbled around the boxes looking for the one with my flashlight in it. That's when lightning struck, again; only this time it struck _me_. I felt a jolt of energy as it hit me, the familiar feeling of a caffeine buzz on steroids taking me over. "Oh great, now I'm a lightning rod!" Then I felt it; and it hurt. "A contraction." I said to myself. "Shit… shit shit shit shit shit!" It was too early! The twins weren't supposed to come for a week! I put my hand over the comm, trying to get through to Bruce. No such luck; the storm was interfering with the signal.

"Hello? Wendy?" I heard Pete's voice at the door. I ran to open it. "Oh, thank goodness!" He was in street clothes, which were soaked to the bone. "Hey, I was out trying to find these special breakfast chimichangas for Wade and my car broke down, and of course it started pouring. Do you think I could stay here until it passes?"

"I'm in labor." I blurted out.

"Wh-what? You're what?" He sputtered.

"In labor!" He stared, dumbfounded. "Don't just stand there, get me to the fricking hospital!" We ran out to the street, hailed a cab, and drove to the hospital. By the time we got there, I was already pretty far along. Don't ask me why, even the doctors couldn't figure it out, but somehow I think it had something to do with being struck by lightning. Pete helped me into the building, and they got me a room, fast. Where the hell was Bruce? How long did it take to buy a few groceries?

"Come on." One of the doctors said to Pete, when he tried to leave the room. "She needs you right now."

"But I'm not the father!" He protested.

"Doesn't matter. She needs someone with her." He walked up beside the bed I was in, sweating nervously. Something told me this was his first delivery.

"Um, what should I do?" He asked.

"Just hold my hand. Please." He obliged. Another contraction came, and I squeezed his hand. Hard. I could swear I heard a crack. He just gritted his teeth and bore it.. Don't get excited; I'd rather describe my own conception in detail than tell you exactly what happened in the delivery room. Use your imagination, would you? I can tell you, though, that when the twins were finally born, I got to see them for all of a second before they were taken away.

"What's wrong?" I asked the doctors frantically. "What's wrong with them?"

"They were born a little early, we need to make sure they're alright." A female doctor answered. "Don't worry, alright?" My eyes began to brim with tears. What if they died? What if they were deformed, or disabled, just because of... of the way I was? Bruce… I needed Bruce here. Pete was waiting in the hall, most likely emotionally scarred. Where was he…

"I'm here." Bruce burst through the door. Just when I needed him. "Pete called me, are you alright? Are they alright?" He rushed to my side, and, seeing the tears in my eyes, started to stroke my hair and whisper in my ear. "It's okay. It's alright." He said.

"No, it's not alright! They took them away, Bruce! They were born too early, there might be something wrong with them!"

"They'll be fine, Wendy, I promise!" He held me in his arms there for a good long while, until Pete came in, nursing the hand I had nearly crushed.

"Hey. The doctors said you can see them now." Bruce helped me out of the bed, and, with the humiliatingly necessary help of a walker, we made our way to the… what's it called? Ah, I'll just call it the baby room. We peered through the window into the room full of bassinets. My eyes immediately found two, teeny little babies in the corner.

"That's them." I said.

"How can you tell?" Pete asked.

"I can tell." I studied them critically. They were breathing. And moving. One opened her eyes; they were a beautiful shade of hazel.

"I suppose that's Belle, then?" Bruce said. I nodded.

"And there's Persephone." I pointed to the little bundle next to her.

"Belle and Persephone?" Pete questioned.

"Yeah. That's them. I looked up at Bruce. "Still think you can't do it?" I asked.

"No. Not at all. How could I manage to mess up something that perfect?" I leaned on him, my arms around him as I watched Persephone and Belle observing the world for the first time.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you too."

The next few months were incredibly hectic. Amid visits from friends who "just had to see the new babies", the quest to get some actual furniture in the house, and trying to figure out the whole "parenthood" thing, the last thing I needed was to be an Avenger. I was actually starting to regret taking the job. One day, when the twins were sleeping and I was nearly passed out on the couch, Bruce came in holding a package.

"What's that?" I asked, sitting up.

"I don't know. It's addressed to you, though." He handed the package to me, and I opened it. Inside was a note.

Trescott.

I saw you itching at your neck like something's missing. Don't deny you feel naked without it. I turned it off, so it's just a pretty bit of jewelry now. And, I suppose, a reminder.

-Fury.

My eyes widened. He couldn't have, could he? I tore through the tissue paper in the box. He did.

"The collar?" Bruce asked as I lifted it up.

"Yeah." I said. I studied it. It had scorch marks all over, probably from my tussle with ma. It looked like someone had done their best to scrub them off. Thank you, Fury. I made a mental note to thank him for it later. A real, sincere thank you. "Could you help?" I asked Bruce. I turned around and let him put the collar on me, the ends connecting with a satisfying "click". It felt good to have this around my neck again. I felt the cool metal with my fingers, proudly. I felt like Wendy Trescott again. I got a call on the comm.

"Trescott, do you read me?" It was Fury.

"Hey, I got your little gift!" I said, grinning.

"You can thank me later. Carnage is wreaking havoc on Times Square, and Pete needs backup." I sighed. "We're on it."

"What was that?" Bruce asked.

"Call the babysitter, would you? Fury needs us." I said. The babysitter, a perky, slightly nerdy college student named Alice, appeared in a heartbeat. We chose her specifically because she lived close to us, close being just next door.

"If anything goes horribly wrong, you know the number, right?" I asked as we headed out the door. I was already in my battle outfit, ready for action. She nodded.

"But, where are you going, Mrs. Banner?" I chuckled. She liked to think of Bruce and I as already married.

"It's Tesla, right now." I said. "And we're just going to save some asses, is all." We walked out the door, and Bruce immediately let the other guy out. He tends to be easier to control if Bruce lets him out on purpose. "Well?" I said. He picked me up in his arms, and ran off in the direction of the problem. Running in the arms of my giant green fiancé to fight alongside the Avengers, who considered me a superhero. That was my life now, I suppose. And god did I love it.

~FIN~


End file.
